Relationships

13 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Marry A “Chad”

By Andrea Mew··  5 min read
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If you see a fridge full of Natty Lite and “Kill Bill” sirens start going off in your head, that’s probably for a good reason.

We all know a “Chad.” Some have called him the quintessential frat boy and others have more expletive-ridden nicknames that rhyme with truck-boy for this type of gentleman.

However, he’s anything but a true gentleman, and if you’re eyeing a Chad to be your life partner, you might want to take a step back and think about what you’re getting yourself into.

The Chad will lure you in with his rugged, boyish charm, but don’t fall for it. It’s his goal to snag your attention, but I assure you that he’s not marriage material!

So how do you know if you’ve fallen for a Chad? Or maybe you just want to know the signs to avoid him in the future. You’re in luck, we’ve compiled a (non-exhaustive) list of reasons why if you see a Chad you should just keep on walking.

1. He’s so obsessed with his workouts. 

You want a date night, but he wants a leg day. If you so much as get one glimpse at his camera roll on his phone, you'll know it’s full of shirtless or semi-shirtless pictures teasing a peek at his abs. 

2. His nutrition makes little to no sense.

His apartment is scattered with used protein shakers growing what appears to be…mold? Who needs to wash them when you can always buy another. I guess you need to supplement a lot of protein when your fridge is full of crummy, carb-loaded beer that makes you bloat and belch.

zac efron frat boy drinking beer shirtless

3. His self-worth revolves around how many women he has slept with.

His friends know his body count…and his friend’s friends do too. It’s quite a competitive game, and he’s probably winning it. Take our advice and tell him he can take his foul and risky package elsewhere.

4. His Instagram feed is full of other women.

He swears it’s just the algorithm suggesting content that men his age would be interested in, but those thirst traps he keeps posting on social media, despite being in a committed relationship, tell me otherwise.

man checking out woman sunglasses

5. He still has dating apps downloaded on his phone.

Neither of us wants to look at the Screen Time on his phone to see just how many hours get logged on there. Is that what’s going on when his attention drifts, and he pulls out his phone while you’re streaming a show together?

6. He uses more hair products than you do.

You thought your routine with deep conditioning, shampooing, conditioning, hair masks, leave-in treatments, heat protectant, and more were exhausting, but that pompadour-like coif that he rocks doesn’t come easy. Because of that, he can’t walk by a mirror without checking himself out.

push-hair-back-modeling

7. He never moved on from his wild phase.

He’s all-in when it comes to dropping thousands of dollars on a boys’ trip, but skimps on treating you. And if he is in town, he’ll want to spend all weekend at the beach. Even if you’re invited, he’ll probably spend more time taking pictures of his bod and checking out the girls in bikinis than paying attention to you.

8. He’s kind of a liability at the bar.

You’d probably have to make a concerted effort to keep him out of bar fights. And when you guys are out, he’ll still probably be trying to impress anyone who will pay attention by how much he can drink. Sometimes, it feels like he overcompensates for his inflated ego by acting out for attention.

always sunny beer smash

9. You might still find him cruising frat row.

Wait, that’s weird, didn’t he graduate like…fifteen years ago or something? He’s not just visiting his younger brother or cousin, he’s reliving what he considered to be his glory days.

10. The words that come out of his mouth are pretty unpolished.

He punctuates and interrupts all of his sentences with “dude,” “man,” “bro,” as staples in his vocabulary. When he’s flirting with you, he probably still uses the same pickup lines that he mastered in his junior year of high school. I thought boys' brains are supposed to have been fully developed by now…maybe we can’t “trust the science” after all.

man saying bro

11. He has absolutely no filter. 

Don’t “sorry, but it’s true” us! Sometimes if you don’t have anything nice to say, it’s better to say nothing at all. He’ll probably crack a lot of crude jokes, and funny or not, he’ll laugh way too hard at them.

12. His grownup social skills are lacking.

He thinks his lack of table manners is funny, but honestly he should’ve probably been put through cotillion. He’s also way too over the top with PDA, conveniently when you’re not feeling very touchy or the timing is inappropriate…I mean, mom and dad don’t want to see that! How can you claim to be all about chivalry when you don’t appear to know the first thing about actually treating a woman well?

thor breaking mug another

13. He’s not actually setting himself up for a successful future.

He’s always touting inspirational quotes about sticking to the grind, but you won’t find him budgeting, learning the ins and outs of retirement savings plans, or saving up for a down payment to lower your monthly mortgage together.

Closing Thoughts

Here’s the thing, women typically want to date masculine men. Go out and find your guy, but be careful not to mix up a Chad with a real masculine man. One of them will be your best friend and a loyal lifelong partner, while the other might try his luck at sleeping with your best friend.

This is not to say that the Chad can’t become refined either, and sometimes the influence of a good woman can be the turning point in a man’s life to clean up his act. Nevertheless, be on the lookout and be wary if it’s a Chad you want to marry.

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Seek Truth. Find Beauty.
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Evie

Seek Truth. Find Beauty.

© 2022 EvieMagazine.com