After Years Of Being Compared To Her Boyfriend, TikTok Influencer Brooke Monk Opens Up About Being The "Ugly One" In Their Relationship

Like many, I was confused by the premise because Monk is conventionally attractive. With more than 55 million followers on TikTok, being one of the platform's most recognizable faces, plenty of people agreed with me. They felt the "ugly" label simply didn't apply to her. 

It all started after Monk reflected on her relationship with content creator Sam Dezz, whom she has been dating since 2020. The two still frequently appear in each other’s videos. The couple initially spent time long-distance before eventually building one of social media's most popular relationships. Anyone familiar with their content knows Dezz appears completely devoted to her, which is part of what made the controversy so fascinating.

Brooke Monk's Viral Video Explained

In the video, Monk explained that she has always considered her boyfriend exceptionally attractive. "It's no secret that my boyfriend Sam, he's a beautiful human being, like inside and out, but he's a gorgeous human being," she said.

She recalled being surprised that he was interested in her when they first met. "I was like, wow, I really aimed high, and he happened to like me." Monk wasn't calling herself ugly, but did title the video "My experience being the ugly one in my relationship." What she mostly described was how people react online when they perceive the man in a relationship as more attractive than the woman.

They get genuinely angry at the fact that Sam is with me and he's better looking than me.

"He is better looking than me. It's funny. It's not like no one needs to get in a tussle over it," she said. What caught her attention, however, was how upset some people seemed to become over it.

"They get genuinely angry at the fact that Sam is with me and he's better looking than me," Monk said. "That ignites some kind of anger in them."

Some viewers insisted that Monk was fishing for compliments. But I think she was simply sharing her experience online and making a point about beauty standards, particularly how men and women are perceived on the internet. 

The viral moment eventually spilled onto X, where users began circulating side-by-side photos of a bare-faced Monk and Dezz. The posts quickly ignited a debate about attractiveness, with some people arguing that men are naturally more attractive than women and pointing to the couple as evidence of that claim. That argument ignores an important reality of how social media works.

Has Social Media Distorted Our Perception Of Beauty?

Most chronically online people aren't comparing women to the other women they see in everyday life. They're comparing women to highly curated online versions of beauty. Influencers are often seen wearing makeup, using flattering lighting, styling their hair, editing photos, applying filters, and presenting themselves at their absolute best. Over time, that becomes the standard. People lose touch with reality and natural beauty.

Meanwhile, men are often judged against a much wider range of appearances. The result is a distorted comparison in which women are measured against perfection, while men are measured against normality. Just take a look at magazine covers today: Men are allowed to keep their lines and wrinkles, while women are airbrushed to perfection. Monk actually touched on this dynamic herself. She joked that she experiences a much bigger transformation when she gets ready because she wears makeup and styles her hair, while Dezz "just looks the same because he wakes up looking that gorgeous."

Following her video, numerous users pointed out that people have been commenting on her appearance for years. One viral tweet referenced a TikTok comment claiming Dezz had "mogged" her, internet slang used when one person is considered significantly more attractive than another. The post alleged that comments criticizing Monk's appearance had accumulated hundreds of thousands, and in some cases millions, of likes across social media.

Another user noted that they had followed Monk long before she began dating Dezz and remembered her early days on the platform when she wore braces, used less makeup, and was just posting videos as a teenager. The user argued that many of the harshest comments were coming from people projecting their own fascination with Dezz rather than making objective observations about Monk. Maybe people don’t actually believe Monk is “ugly,” maybe they just want her man.

Whether people agree with that assessment or not, it speaks to something Monk repeatedly emphasized in her video: strangers have become unusually invested in ranking the attractiveness of her relationship. "I see it's more common objectively speaking with beautiful women being with men that are less attractive than them and no one bats an eye at that," she said. 

Let’s say that Dezz is the better-looking one in the relationship (although I think both of them are equally gorgeous). Would that be so wrong? According to Monk, many people struggle with the idea that a conventionally attractive man would willingly choose a woman they personally view as less attractive.  "People can't fathom the idea that a beautiful man would choose to be with a woman that they deem less attractive than him,” she added.

Meanwhile, the only opinion that actually matters appears unchanged. After more than five years together, Dezz still seems just as smitten with Monk as ever, regardless of what strangers on the internet think about either of their faces.