Warren Buffet, one of the wealthiest men on earth, said that marriage is the most important decision that you’ll make. He said, “Who you marry, which is the ultimate partnership, is enormously important in determining the happiness in your life and your success.”
This was something our grandmothers’ generation understood. They understood the power and importance of holding on to a romantic outlook on life in regards to relationships. They knew if you wanted a lifetime of romantic happiness, you have to capture the heart. This telegram from a man to his wife in 1954 gives an idea of what common romance used to be: "Darling, I shall be waiting for you at eight. With a lifetime of expectancy. My heart will be coming with you down the aisle. May God be with us tonight as we pray we will always be with Him. Thank you for becoming my wife. My love forever yours, Henry."
Times have changed and not for the better. The culture of romance is different today, with people being more bitter and cynical. The lucky few of us may have a healthy and fulfilling romantic relationship, but it's not a stretch to say that the majority of us are struggling to be happy.
Happiness and Romance
We can't really denounce the cynic for giving up on romance. People tend to become cynical after many bad experiences if they have a defeatist mindset. What we can do, however, is to avoid becoming one of these quitters ourselves.
Your chances of living a happy life will increase if you remain a romantic. You will be less likely to give up on love and, therefore, will be less likely to give up on others. In other words, you will have the grit and optimism to continually pursue your happiness.
Your chances of living a happy life will increase if you remain a romantic.
And don't fall for the lies of those who demean the importance of romantic love. Romantic love is a vital part of a person’s happiness. Life is simply better if you have someone to love. You may still be single and not be with him yet, but he is the personification of your capacity to love. Take away that option, and you’re left with a life without passion. A man can't be romantic - to try and win your love - if you don’t believe in love and romance yourself. If you don’t have any love to give, then there is nothing he can work for.
Elevated Aspirations and Romance
When life gets tough, which it certainly will sometimes (or often for some people), it helps to be reminded that you have dreams. The spark of passion inside of you will help you soldier on in life. A romantic outlook on things will ensure that you don't fall into a world of cynicism.
If a relationship fails and the man breaks your heart, you won’t think that all males are awful and condemn the entire gender as worthless because you’ll still believe that you can win at love. It just won’t be with that particular man.
Holding on to the view that you can achieve your romantic goals will keep your spirits up. Your love life may be tough, but it won't defeat you because you believe in the goodness of romance and would never give up on love.
Betting on Valor and Romance
The best way to guarantee a lifetime of unhappiness is to check out from life because you’ll end up bitter and cynical. Giving up on romance is certainly the fastest road towards bitterness and cynicism if that's your goal. Hardened by bad romantic experiences, the bitter, cynical woman etches a disparaging view of men into her heart.
But pain shouldn’t determine the course of a person’s life. A happy life is attained by continually believing in the good. Lowering men to the status of no-good pathetic losers will take away your respect for them. In doing so, you're also taking away your own right to romance.
Pain shouldn’t determine the course of a person’s life. A happy life is attained by continually believing in the good.
Common sense will tell you that a woman won’t be able to forge a bond with a man, let alone unite as one with him, if she deems him to be unworthy of respect. Even worse, giving up on romance will undoubtedly lower a person’s expectation of the good. Instead of being confident that she is able to be with someone she’d embrace as her hero, she’ll reject the mere thought of men being capable of heroic courage.
Is Being Romantic Realistic? Is It Worth It?
Everyone wants to be loved and adored. This is a healthy desire and one you shouldn't be ashamed to have. Women before our grandmothers’ generation understood what romantic love was. They knew how important it was. They wanted it. And their men knew it.
Listen to early pop music, and you'll hear men proudly singing of the women they want to love and unabashedly give their hearts to. Read again the note written by regular men like Henry to his wife (at the beginning of the article). These men pride themselves in their gallant effort to win their woman’s love because they see these actions as courageous and brave.
Today, we're mostly devoid of the sweeping pleasure of romance. Women and men are more afraid than ever to let themselves love deeply because they’re frightened of experiencing true love’s heartbreak. And if you live your life in a constant state of fear, you will undoubtedly end up anxious and depressed.
If you live your life in a constant state of fear, you will undoubtedly end up anxious and depressed.
But those who believe in the goodness of romance and love aren’t afraid. They’ll brave adversity, grief, and pain in order to pursue true love. These romantics do so because the feeling of being “on the top of the world” with the one they love is worth the strife.
True love requires true vulnerability - the willingness to risk being hurt. Many of us today are cynical about the idea of real love and romance. It's hard not to be a cynic when the culture around you seems to be set up toward your romantic failure. In a world filled with loathsome exploitation of human sexuality (i.e., pornography, cam-girls, sugar daddies, “pump and dump” dating apps, pickup artist culture, “ghosting,” etc.), how is a person supposed to hold on to the best inside of them and pursue romance and love?
True love requires true vulnerability - the willingness to risk being hurt.
The answer: You do it by holding on to the best within your soul because you know you are capable of pursuing and achieving love and happiness in your life. You know romantic success is possible because you know there are others just like you who believe in the best within themselves, too. This is what “finding your soul mate” is about. In the end, the old adage rings true: better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.