Why Married Moms Are The Happiest Women In America

Let’s talk about happiness. Not the fleeting kind you get from finding a cute dress on sale or going on a fun vacation, but the deep, soul-satisfying kind that makes you feel like you’re not just surviving life, but actually living it; a life greater than yourself that’s having an impact. According to a shiny new report from the Institute for Family Studies and the Wheatley Institute, titled In Pursuit: Marriage, Motherhood, and Women’s Well-Being, the happiest women in America aren’t the ones chasing corporate corner offices or sitting at a bar most nights of the week. Nope. They’re the ones with a ring on their finger and a kid (or three) yelling “Mom! Mom!”

As a woman who doesn’t have kids of my own (yet), I have some thoughts on this. Buckle up, because the tea in this report is hot, and I’m here to sip it with humility and an open mind.

The IFS report, based on the Women’s Well-Being Survey (WWS) of 3,000 U.S. women aged 25 to 55, conducted by YouGov in March 2025, drops a truth bomb: married mothers are the happiest demographic among women. Nearly twice as many of them report being “very happy” compared to their unmarried, childless counterparts. They’re also more likely to say life feels “enjoyable most or all of the time” (47% versus 34% for single, childless women). Meanwhile, unmarried mothers and childless single women are reporting higher levels of loneliness—23% and 20%, respectively, feel lonely “most or all of the time,” compared to just 11% of married moms. The numbers don’t lie, but they do raise eyebrows. Why are married moms, despite the chaos of endless laundry, apparently thriving?

Let’s get one thing straight: this isn’t about shaming single or childless women. I’ve been there, sipping overpriced wine at rooftop bars, feeling like I was living the Carrie Bradshaw dream—minus the 1,000 pairs of designer shoes and handbags, because, let’s be real, how many writers can afford that? But the report suggests that the narrative we’ve been fed over the past few decades—freedom, career, multiple partners and self-serving tendencies as the ultimate path to fulfillment—might be a bit oversold. Single, childless women are more likely to struggle with making new friends and report feeling isolated, while married moms, despite their packed schedules, are just as satisfied with their social circles. Apparently, playdates and PTA meetings are the new happy hour.

Before you roll your eyes and mutter something about patriarchal propaganda, hear me out. To emphasize, I’m not yet married and I don’t have children of my own. This isn’t someone pushing my life choices on other women. It’s to encourage everyone to question the narratives we’re being sold. A life built on self, status, and stuff may be shinier than it is fulfilling.

I’m not saying marriage and motherhood are some magical elixir. I know many mothers have their share of sleepless nights wondering if they traded their independence for a lifetime of changing diapers and wiping sticky fingerprints off everything. But the data backs it up: there’s something about the structure, support, and love that comes with a committed partnership and kids that anchors you in a way solo life just doesn’t.

A life built on self, status, and stuff may be shinier than it is fulfilling.

The report digs into why this might be. For one, married women, especially moms, are less likely to feel lonely. Only 11% of married mothers report frequent loneliness, compared to 20% of unmarried childless women. This flies in the face of the stereotype that marriage traps women in a prison of domestic drudgery, cut off from friends and fun. Married moms are just as, if not more, socially connected; volunteering, going out with the girls, chatting at sports practice, or bonding over shared stories. Meanwhile, single women are struggling to make new friends in a world where swiping right is more about empty hookups and ghosting than heart-to-hearts.

Then, there’s the physical affection angle. Married women, the report notes, tend to receive more of it—hugs from kids, cuddles from a spouse, maybe even a backrub after a long day. In an era of “touch hunger,” where Americans are spending 67 fewer hours a year in face-to-face interactions compared to 2003, that’s no small thing. Single women, especially those without kids, are more likely to feel the ache of physical isolation. 47% of married mothers and 49% of married women without children report high physical touch levels; meanwhile, only 23% of unmarried mothers and 13% of unmarried women without children do.

Motherhood is deeply tied to happiness and well-being, often through a profound sense of meaning and purpose. For instance, mothers are more likely to strongly agree that their lives are valuable and worthwhile: 33% of married mothers and 30% of unmarried mothers affirm this, compared to 24% of married women without children and 20% of unmarried women without children. Mothers are also more likely than childless women to strongly agree that their lives have a clear sense of purpose.

But let’s not get too rosy. The report isn’t saying every married mom is living a dream life. Marriage and motherhood are hard work and sacrifices are made. The dishes don’t wash themselves, and husbands don’t always pick up on when moms need a night off. Plus, the data doesn’t account for the quality of the marriage. A bad one can make you feel lonelier than any single woman scrolling Tinder. And let’s not forget the societal pressures—women are still judged harsher than men for prioritizing family over career. The report hints at this tension: only 32% of women believe that women who marry and have kids live “fuller, happier lives,” compared to 53% who think the same for men.

Still, the numbers are compelling. Married mothers are happier, less lonely, and more socially engaged. Why? It’s not just the emotional support of a spouse or the joy of watching your kid discover new things. It’s also the structure marriage provides—a built-in teammate for life’s chaos, a partner in parenting, and, yes, someone to split the bills with. The report suggests that in our hyper-digital age, where smartphones have us doomscrolling instead of connecting, marriage and motherhood might be a defense against the “atomization” of modern life. Kids force you out of your bubble—into playgrounds, school events, and community spaces. A spouse gives you someone to vent to when the world feels too heavy.

Now, I’m not here to preach that every woman needs a husband and a baby to be happy. Happiness is as individual as your music playlist. Some women thrive in their independence, and others find purpose in careers or friendships. But the IFS report challenges the cultural narrative that marriage and motherhood are somehow anti-feminist traps. For many, they’re not chains; they’re choices that ground women.

The chaos of family life isn’t just survivable, it’s where we find our deepest joy and purpose.

The report also nods to a cultural shift. Back in the pre-digital era, single life might have meant more socializing with friends and family. Today, with everyone glued to screens, marriage and kids might actually create more connection.

It’s ironic—while society tells us to “put yourself first” and “hustle hard,” the data suggests that the old-school path of family life might be the secret sauce for well-being. Who knew that changing diapers and arguing over whose turn it is to unload the dishwasher could be so… fulfilling?

The notion that marriage and motherhood are inherently negative for women, while single life is portrayed as a path of joy and independence, significantly impacts both young women and married mothers. This narrative not only shapes young women’s decisions about their future but also leads some married women with families to feel like victims, believing they’ve sacrificed too much and that single life offers more freedom and fulfillment. This harmful perspective may contribute to family breakdowns and divorce. The idea isn’t just influencing impressionable young women; it’s also prompting married mothers to reconsider their paths. The erosion of family structure over recent decades may be partly tied to this misleading narrative, and the destruction of “the family unit” has fueled many of our societal problems.

“As the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live.” Pope John Paul II once said. He was right.

Returning to Carrie Bradshaw, HBO's Sex and the City has been both celebrated and critiqued for redefining societal norms for modern women. Critics argue the show glamorized promiscuity and portrayed the single, self-centered lifestyle as aspirational, ultimately impacting society negatively. Even though I’m a fan of the series, I find myself agreeing with this perspective. Entertainment undeniably influences culture, and Sex and the City stands as one of the most impactful shows ever in this regard. 

In the finale of And Just Like That, the Sex and the City spin-off, a detail stood out. Spoiler alert: After the shocking loss of her husband, Mr. Big, to a heart attack in the premiere, Carrie—childless and in her fifties—navigates dating and rekindled romances. The final season follows her writing a debut romance novel set in the 19th century, echoing her own life. As another relationship fizzles, both the series and her novel close with the line, “The woman realized she was not alone—she was on her own.” It struck a chord. Was the show suggesting that a generation of women, inspired to prioritize themselves and often forgo family, might end up alone, but that’s okay? To some, it may feel empowering. To me, it was chilling. Sarah Jessica Parker, who plays Carrie, is happily married to Matthew Broderick with three children. She won’t face that solitude, but countless women influenced by her iconic character might, and may later grapple with regret.

So, what’s the takeaway? Maybe it’s time we stop romanticizing the solo life as the pinnacle of freedom. Maybe we need to rethink the idea that marriage and motherhood are only sacrifices rather than sources of strength. The IFS report isn’t saying every woman should rush to the altar or the maternity ward. But it’s a reminder that for many women, the chaos of family life isn’t just survivable, it’s where we find our deepest joy and purpose.

So, to the married moms: the grass isn’t greener—keep watering what you’ve built and guard that hard-won sense of purpose. And to everyone else: don’t let a loud culture sell you on self-absorption as joy. The data’s in, and it’s clear: love, family, and a little domestic chaos are still the most reliable engine of meaning and happiness.