Dating expert Matthew Hussey gave wonderful advice for single women at a small event recently in Los Angeles. He explained that women need to start redefining what makes a man attractive. Every time this beautiful British man opens his mouth, it’s as if he is sharing a ground-breaking discovery. Women cling to his every word, and he’s entirely in a league of his own. The crazy thing is, everything he suggests ought to be common sense, but no one else is talking about it! (Well, except us.)
Hussey explained that the scale in which you determine your feelings or attraction for a man should be based primarily on how he treats you and others. If a guy makes you feel like he could take you or leave you, what's attractive about that? A man who acts like a playboy or who objectifies women shouldn’t be praised or chased after. Yet, it always seems that women are distraught over the guy who doesn’t deserve a second thought or a moment of emotional distress.
Women Need To Adjust Their Definition of Beauty
The same revolution, however, needs to be made for women. We need to redefine what makes us attractive. As Audrey Hepburn so gracefully said, “Elegance is the only beauty that never fades.”
Elegance is the only beauty that never fades.
While perfectly airbrushed pictures can be beautiful, it shouldn’t be the scale by which you determine your own beauty. Listen up: “Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own.” Let’s go over that again: “Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own.” If you post a picture on social media because you feel beautiful in it, “Praise be!” Don’t compare yourself to other women or worry about the attention they’re getting.
The world pits women against each other to convince them they need to be even more revealing in their next post, they need even more fillers and Botox, they need to suck in here, and alter their photos in Facetune to fix each and every flaw. Women think they need to look perfect. The pressure women put on themselves to be appealing to men has gotten way out of hand.
So many women find themselves disheartened by the sense that they need to fulfill unrealistic expectations of certain men because of social media and porn. These are lies we must stop perpetuating. A truly beautiful and confident woman knows her worth. Let’s revert back to the expert, Audrey Hepburn, and her words of wisdom:
“There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don’t need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain.”
Amen! Take whatever measures you want to make yourself feel beautiful but understand that beauty isn’t just about your looks.
“If you’re pretty, you’re pretty; but the only way to be beautiful is to be loving. Otherwise, it’s just congratulations about your face.”
In the digital age of Instagram and the mecca of dating apps, the importance of having a beautiful personality has become less and less of a priority. People can now create any complimentary persona they want online, and you can invent all kinds of judgments and perceptions about them without ever having met them. It’s become increasingly more difficult to be real, to be genuine, to be vulnerable.
Inner Beauty Is Better Beauty
How do we want our daughters to define what makes a woman beautiful? Hopefully, they will believe that beauty is kindness, love, joy, gratitude, and grace. Once again Audrey Hepburn put it perfectly:
“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way that she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It’s the caring that she lovingly gives and the passion she shows. And the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”
True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It’s the caring that she lovingly gives and the passion she shows.
The perfect example of a beautiful woman is Mother Teresa. She gave so much to the world and became more and more beautiful as she aged. She embodied true feminism; she gave only what a woman could give as a mother to so many. Real beauty should be defined in the way a woman treats other people, the way she exhibits joy, and her confidence in the parts of her that make her unique.
A pretty face, a fit body, and fashion choices are meant to be enhancements; they don’t define a person. Just as we should judge a man’s attractive qualities by his actions, the same goes for women. So, when you’re getting undressed and washing off your makeup at the end of the day, take a serious look at yourself in the mirror. What makes you beautiful without all of that?