We Need To Stop Comparing Ourselves To Other Women

We live in a culture that makes it almost impossible to never compare ourselves to other people. We have all done it. Jealousy can become an epidemic that if you aren’t careful will have detrimental effects on your self-confidence and your relationships.

By Amber Parker2 min read
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Shutterstock/Jacob Lund

Comparison truly is the thief of joy; it will sneak its’ evil head into your life without you even knowing it. It happens when you’re scrolling through Instagram, and you’re subconsciously coveting other people’s lives, looks, and possessions. It’s self-sabotage, and we don’t even realize it. You wake up every morning, you scroll before getting out of bed and suddenly your day has begun with a reminder of everything you and your life is lacking. What an awful way to start your day! What should be your first thought when you wake up is, I am so blessed to have been given another day. Life is too short to let anything steal your joy.

It’s easy to be jealous of other people, so easy that it’s terribly lazy! Jealous people are lazy people. Wasting time coveting what other people have, says a lot about the kind of person you are. It means that you are too apathetic to change the things about your life that make you unhappy. It’s a victim mentality; successful people should motivate you and inspire you.

Wish people well. Their successes will not limit yours.

There isn’t anything attractive about envy. Jealousy may feel harmless, but it’s incredibly destructive. Over-analyzing other people and engaging in gossip with your friends is unhealthy, even if it seems to pacify your emotions in the moment. Don’t underestimate the ugliness of envy. If this has become a bad habit, humble yourself and ask your close friends for help by telling you when your complaining or comparing yourself to someone. Call each other out; real friends will! Don’t be a slave to your insecurities, and don’t inflict unnecessary damage on yourself or your relationships.

Comparison doesn’t strengthen anything other than your insecurities.

Do you clap for your friends' successes? Or do you secretly wish their success was yours? If we aren’t paying attention, over time, we can find ourselves trapped in a friend group that doesn’t encourage our development or growth. Year after year you may notice everyone is in the same place, doing the same things, never growing, never changing. Look around, are you in the same place you were a year ago? How about five years ago? If you don’t like where you’re at, don’t remain indifferent, act and grow.

Jealousy takes a drastic toll on romantic relationships as well. We get jealous when we notice the guy we like checking out another girl. Maybe you see she has a great body and you feel yourself comparing her body to yours. Consider this: what is it about someone that makes us fall in love with them? Is it just one thing? Chances are, there are many little things about this guy that you like. Maybe it’s the way he holds your hand, the way he calms your stress, the way his kiss blows your mind, the way he answers the phone when you call.

Jealousy takes a drastic toll on romantic relationships.

It’s a bunch of qualities that add value to your life. Don’t forget about all the reason’s this guy fell for you. Most likely, he has a mental list of similar reasons that have little to do with your body. Physical appearance is a nice perk, but appearance alone doesn’t keep someone around. Your guy didn’t fall for just one thing about you either. So, when you find yourself stressing over other girls, remember all the qualities you bring to the table and be confident in his feelings for you.

Physical appearance is a nice perk, but appearance alone doesn’t keep someone around.

The uncomfortable truth is that you are probably comparing yourself for all the wrong reasons. Your insecurities surface when you don’t feel confident about the relationship. If you have feelings for a man that doesn’t want a committed relationship, it doesn’t matter how pretty you are. No amount effort you make to change yourself into something you think he wants is going to make him invest in you, which makes any jealousy for other girls a real waste of your time and energy.

On the other hand, if you have been in a steady relationship and a man leaves you for another woman, find strength in the certainty that he could not have been the right one for you. It sounds impossible, but we promise it isn’t. It certainly doesn’t feel good to think that another girl might be better for him than you, but instead of focusing on what makes her a better match, work on being open and ready for the guy that’s better for you. The most important takeaway from this, though, is that jealousy is a form of hatred and confident women don’t hate other women.