You’re leaving your local coffee shop, hands filled, fumbling for your keys. Amidst your morning rush, you drop that portfolio for your big meeting, and a handsome stranger reaches down and hands it back to you.
Your eyes lock, your heart skips a beat, and you’ve forgotten all about the impending business of the day. Instead, you idle the day away over a walk through the city together, leisurely sipping that coffee you had every intention of slamming down. By nightfall, you’ve talked the day away and are chatting about travels and babies over Cabernet, convinced you’ve found the one. This may be the scenario you’ve played out in your head, the hopeful “how we met” story you’ve dreamed of someday telling your grandchildren. The reality is, dating today looks a lot different.
Forget the Stigma
In the beginning of technological dating there seemed to be a stigma around “online dating” that made it feel like you were somehow less deserving of a traditional experience if you had to resort to technological assistance. This couldn’t be further from the truth, and it’s time we realized that social media and dating apps are not only perfectly acceptable ways of meeting people but have grown at such a rate to really have the potential to lead to lasting, long-term relationships.
It’s time we realized that social media and dating apps are not only perfectly acceptable ways of meeting people but really have the potential to lead to lasting, long-term relationships.
Use Your Bio Effectively
Start with honesty. They say that honesty is the best policy, and for a good reason. Not only is honesty essential for sustaining a relationship, but it's also necessary for starting one as well. Pay attention to your bios and be honest about what you're looking for. If you're interested in a long-term relationship, say so. Nothing will lead to frustrating or awkward situations faster than going into a scenario expecting entirely different outcomes, whether you realize it from the get-go or not. If you prefer cozying up with a good book on Saturday instead of spending a night on the town, don’t make it appear as though you’re always up for a party. While opposites can attract, there are many differences of interest that can make or break relationships.
Be honest about what you are looking for. Nothing will lead to frustrating or awkward situations faster than going into a scenario expecting entirely different outcomes.
Dating apps are a great platform to showcase your interests, giving potential partners brief insight into your commonalities. Rather than hiding the things you love in hopes of impressing someone with what you think they will share with you, be bold and use your bio to find that someone who will actually share those things with you...and have a great time doing so.
Besides identifying shared interests, bios are also a great way to showcase a little of your personality. One Bumble user stated that her now boyfriend’s intellectually witty bio was part of what initially intrigued her. Of course, there was evidence of shared interests, but “I halfway swiped right because of his very tongue-in-cheek bio,” she says. Having a shared sense of humor is important for long-lasting relationships, and a quippy bio is a great way to determine right off the bat whether someone finds your brand of humor endearing or annoying.
Choose Your App Wisely
Not all dating apps are the same. There are the Tinders and the Bumbles, where bios are shorter and less information is available up front. While these indeed can and have launched successful long-term relationships, you may want to consider some platforms that give a little more information. Apps like Ok! Cupid ask a variety of questions regarding hobbies, occupation, books, and life goals.
19% of brides are now saying they met their spouses online.
After surveys are completed, the app matches you up with people based on your preferences, much like some costly dating websites. One user said that because of this feature, they “knew from the beginning what to expect in many of the most important aspects of a relationship. It’s amazing how well we complement each other, even several years later as a married couple.” Platforms like these are some contributors to the fact that 19% of brides are now saying they met their spouses online. Additionally, there are a variety of features available at varying costs. Decide what's important to you, and what may or may not be worth paying extra for.
Remember the Rest of Your Internet Presence
Just because it isn’t on your Tinder bio doesn’t mean it’s inaccessible. Despite privacy settings, we're all aware that information from our Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and whatever other internet presences you have can often be drudged up with some savvy searching. Those pictures from Spring Break 2010 may not appear to reconcile with your claim to “love cozy and quiet evenings at home.”
Your entire internet presence is a reflection on who you are and what you want out of life, even if some of it is outdated and perhaps different from the current you.
If you’re looking for something specific in your potential relationship or future spouse, it might be time to scrap some photos from those crazier college days. In this day and age, your entire internet presence is a reflection on who you are and what you want out of life, even if some of it is outdated and perhaps different from the current you. If you’ve grown and changed, fantastic. Progress is a beautiful thing. Just make sure that your growth is adequately reflected, and your poorer choices are not highlighted.
Modern dating no longer has to be intimidating, embarrassing, or disappointing. Using technology effectively can not only add ease and convenience to dating, but it can also definitely lay the foundation for happy and lasting relationships.