You want the conversation to be flowing. You want to see eye to eye on the same subjects, but you also need to ask some important questions. So how do you ask how many kids he wants without coming across as crazy and intense? The point of a date is to discern whether or not you like him, if you're compatible, and if he's Relationship Material. It's an interview process, so it's important to ask the right questions.
Here's a list of First Date questions that will provide insight into his Core Beliefs and Values. These are the things that, if not aligned, make for a very difficult relationship (and a great one if they do!)
1. "What's your family like?"
If he only has negative things to say about his family, beware. If he only has bad things to say about his mother, really beware. Family is extremely important because it says a lot about who you are. It's your roots, your background, your essence, your being. You want someone to have trust and love instilled in them so that they can share that same trust and love with you.
2. "What are your religious views?"
This might be a tough one because while you want him to say one thing, he might say the exact opposite. Everyone has their own opinions and views, but when children come into the picture...you don't want to be on opposing sides. Dating is about figuring out if you could be with this person forever, but if you share different views on creation and the afterlife...he might not be the one.
3. "Tell me about your friends."
The saying "you are who you surround yourself with" is REAL. Many women break up with men because of who their friends are. They might have this amazing guy when they're alone, but as soon as his friends are around...he's a partier who doesn't give her the time of day. If his friends are bad news, there's a good chance he is too.
4. "Tell me about your job? Do you like it? What are your professional goals?"
It's important for someone to be passionate and have goals. It says a lot about how independent they are. If they don't like their job, don't know what they want to do, and are unhappy in their career, then that's a sign that they settle and don't go after what they want. That's going to be an issue in the long run.
5. "Do you prefer the city or the country?"
If he says the city, then he prefers a fast-paced, noisy life. If he says the country, then he prefers a slow-paced, quiet, fresh air kind of life. There's a big difference between the two, so if you both prefer the same one, then that's a check in the box.
6. "What's your greatest fear?"
This is a deep and thought-provoking question. Yes, snakes could be an answer, but so could losing your family or the people you love. This question is a good one to break the ice and start a real conversation.
7. "What's your biggest pet peeve?"
Ask this question pretty early on to ensure you don't do it. It's also fun to see if you share a similar stance on what annoys you. We all have that one thing that drives us up the wall, so get to know what his pet peeve is.
8. "Sports, movies, or video games?"
This is a good way to get to know what he does in his free time. None of them are wrong or bad, but if you both like the same one, then you can watch/play them together.
9. "Describe your ideal woman?"
This is your way of saying "tell me what you're looking for" straight up. Instead of beating around the bush and wondering if you're right for each other, let him tell you what he wants. If that's not you, then you will know right away. If it is you, then hello possible husband.
10. "Who are your top three heroes and why?"
This will tell you what he appreciates, looks up to, gets inspired by, and respects. So pay close attention.
First dates should be easy. If you get along and are on the same page, then there's a good chance there will be a second date. If you don't get along, then you move on with your life and go on another first date. Whatever you do, enjoy the process of finding the one.