The Single Girl’s Guide To Surviving Small Talk This Thanksgiving

So, what do you do if you're not exactly feeling thankful about fielding questions about your relationship status, or lack thereof?

Take heart—this doesn’t have to ruin your Thanksgiving spirit. You don't have to panic or begin plotting your escape to the kids’ table (unless the mac and cheese is fire and you like coloring; in which case, by all means, proceed). Here’s how to stay grounded and graceful at the dinner table this Thanksgiving and Christmas season, without losing your peace or having to skip out on dessert.

Now, let’s be clear: there’s nothing wrong with being single. It’s not a flaw. It doesn’t warrant a pitying “bless your heart.” But the question can still stir some angst or discomfort when asked… You might find yourself wondering, “Yeah, God… why am I still single?”

After years of leading a community for single women who are praying and preparing for marriage, I’ve noticed a recurring theme: Many of us feel like we’re supposed to have some answer to show we’re making “progress.” And when we don’t, we start to panic… almost as if not knowing that “why” triggers a fight-or-flight response. We start to wonder if something is wrong with us. If that’s where you are today, I hope this testimony from my friend Mia Fieldes Dunnavant encourages you:

You’re allowed to be in the “in-between.”
You’re allowed to be waiting, becoming, preparing.
And you’re allowed to do so without shame, without pressure, and yes, without a plus one.

So, whether you're completely content or just trying to make it through dinner without fielding unsolicited dating advice, here are four reminders to help you handle relationship questions with grace (and maybe even a little joy) this Thanksgiving and Christmas.

You don’t have to be embarrassed by where you are or where you’re not.

While you can't control the amount of well-meaning, or maybe a little nosy, relationship questions you're asked this season, you can control your response! Often, we assume people are judging us… when really, we’re judging ourselves. When you feel you have to be on the defensive, things can turn sour or awkward fast. Perceived intention behind a question is often based on our own perceptions and uncertainty.

Alleviate yourself from feeling you’re being judged or that you have to present a case (no matter who is asking the question and why). This will allow you to respond with ease and honesty. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You’re not on trial. You’re not behind. You’re just on your own timeline, and that’s okay.

Responses can be short and sweet.

Even if you are completely content and confident in this season, that doesn't mean you have to deliver a TED Talk about it between bites. Processing questions and emotions with close loved ones is important. But that doesn’t mean your grandparents and your great-aunt have to dissect your dating life as they pass the dressing. You’re not presenting a case or apologizing for not bringing another body to fill a seat!

Feel free to keep it simple. Try something like:

• “No, I’m not seeing anyone right now, but I’ve been really focused on [insert passion, project, or goal].”

• “I’m hopeful for that season, but for now, I’m enjoying where I am.”

You’re not apologizing for being single. You’re not offering evidence. You’re just responding with peace and clarity.

You can’t control or force your next season.

Saying “Hi!” to all my fellow type-A ladies and first-born daughters out there. I know as women we're good at making to-do lists and mapping out itineraries, but no one can perfectly predict or control the future. You can do all the “right” things and still not know when or how your next chapter will unfold.

Being single isn’t a failure of preparation. Dare I say it could be the opposite!

The best plan is His plan—trusting that God has the best in store and not deviating from His instruction to fit a timeline that matches your friends’ wedding dates or your own expectations. That means not settling, not rushing, and not forcing something that isn’t from God. Yes, your timeline might look different from your friends’. But trust me: He’s not late. He’s building something specific to you.

Everyone's timing and journey are different; there's no perfect formula.

Rest in the confidence that you're trusting God's timing and are listening to His instruction. And if you haven't fully done either of those yet, let this mark the start! You don’t need a fake boyfriend or a dramatic dating story. You just need honesty and trust that the Author of your life is still writing the next chapter.

The gift of family and the meaning of the holidays are too precious to let awkward questions steal your joy. So, let’s commit to showing up with faith, grace, and maybe even a little humor.

And who knows? If you approach it with peace and joy, the conversation might just be quick and painless. You can pivot to your little brother’s unfortunate haircut or your cousin’s new obsession with sourdough.

Or hey… maybe someone’s asking because they actually know a great match for you. It’s not just in Hallmark movies; real-life setups still happen.

And if you’re reading this thinking, “Yeah, there’s no way someone could introduce me to anyone with potential in my town,” or, “My answer to that question will never change; that’s why it’s so hard to answer,”—in the words of Justin Bieber: “Never say never.”

Frankly, I was there, too. Thinking I was always going to be the cousin who showed up without a fiancé to bring home. But I was wrong to think my story was stuck. I was taken aback by the way I met my husband (you can hear that story here).

But what changed most was me.

I stopped seeing singleness as a separate waiting room and started seeing it as preparation. I started thanking God in advance for the marriage I hoped for, and praying for the husband I hadn’t met yet.

If I can leave you with one image, let it be this: You are planted, not stuck.

Psalm 1:2-3 says,
“But whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.”

That’s you.

Rooted in truth. Nourished by God’s presence. Bearing fruit in your season, not waiting to bloom in the next only.

There is fruit in the season of singleness. There is beauty in preparation. And when you see this season not as a pause before your “real life” begins, but as preparation—deep, meaningful, spiritual preparation—something shifts. Marriage is a blessing that grows from the roots you’ve already been establishing; a partnership you’ll enter into because you’ve cultivated your character, embraced your identity in Christ, and trusted His timing.

So, the next time someone asks, “Why are you still single?” you don’t have to shrink back.

You can smile, say what’s true, and know that your story is unfolding exactly as it should.

If you're looking for more encouragement on how to be joyous in the waiting, I'd recommend this episode from The Dear Future Husband Podcast with my friend DawnCheré.