Binge-watching the Hallmark channel’s Christmas movies tends to be a popular past time around the holidays. The storyline usually consists of a girl who is in the wrong relationship, or perpetually single, who travels to a small whimsical town where she accidentally finds Mr. Right. As predictable and unrealistic as these films may be, they remain a guilty pleasure for millions of us every year.
Relationships aren’t as simple as a Hallmark movie, but the wholesome corniness puts a little sparkle back into romance. The couples are uncomplicated and sweet and remind us what we really look for in a person. The women in these movies don’t have to settle for the wrong guy; Mr. Right shows her he can be thoughtful, supportive, kind, AND good looking.
Love Is Simple
One genuine part about these movies is the way the couples fall in love. They fall in love over shared interests. They fall in love helping each other through tough situations. They fall in love unexpectedly. They fall in love in simple moments. The cliché that the small things are the big things is true. They build on top of each other like Lego pieces.
They fall in love in simple moments.
If you were to ask a couple that has been married for 30 years, why they love each other, they would talk about the tiny little things that over those 30 years have built their lasting marriage. The truth is, what really connects us to a person isn’t complicated. It’s in the simple things.
As relationship coach Matthew Hussey explains, we live in a world that values all the wrong things: money, status, popularity, etc. But when it comes down to it, anyone with moral integrity knows that what really attracts us to a person is their character; it’s who they are all the time, even when we aren’t looking. We all have moments where we feel drawn to someone because of something they did.
Love Happens Naturally
Hallmark movies shouldn’t have you fantasizing about the perfect relationship with no problems, or that the wrong guy will miraculously turn into Mr. Right, or that every love story has a happy ending. But what they can do is remind us that falling in love with the type of person you might want to spend a life with is rather simple; it happens naturally, microattraction after microattraction.
It’s in the moments when he orders your favorite dessert without you having to ask because he remembers it from the first date. It’s in the way he interacts with a child, with his grandma, or your friends. It’s in the way he offers to bring you soup when you’re sick or drive you to work in the snow.
When dating, instead of keeping a continuous checklist in your head, tallying up where he ticks the right boxes or treating every date like an interview, try focusing on what naturally draws you to him. The number one lesson when dating is to prioritize what he does, not what he says. Anyone can say all the right things, but it’s what he does that should determine if he is a man you might want to spend a life with (the same goes for you.)
The number one lesson when dating is to prioritize what he does, not what he says.
The cheesy Hallmark movies are far-fetched, and you probably won’t meet your perfect guy in some small magical town over the holidays or fall in love with a guy in just a few days. But there’s no better time of year to remember what you deserve. See, the characters in these movies don’t settle. They don’t force something to work. They don’t try to change someone into what they want them to be; they naturally connect.
So, the next time you find yourself stressing over a guy who won’t text you back or a guy who spends more time partying with his friends than making time for you, ask yourself, is that really the kind of man you would want to spend a life with? No. Don’t settle for the wrong guy. Wait for the guy who texts you after a date to make sure you got home ok or a guy who reads a book because it’s your favorite. That’s attractive. Those are the understated moments that put the spark back in romance.