The 9 Friends Who Will Hold You Back

It's time to start showing some of these people the door!

By Amber Parker2 min read

Over time different friends enter your life. You don't remember how they all got there, you just look up one day, and there they all are. It's like a party that has gotten way out of control! The music is blaring, neighbors have called the cops, drunks are dancing on your coffee table, and others are snooping around your bedrooms. Some of these friends must leave for your house to calm down. When deciding who to evict, consider these nine different types and how they negatively affect your life: 

1. The Taker 

It's a one-way street with her. She only shows up when she wants to take something from you: your time, your energy, your sympathy, or your money. She takes without giving anything back. You often find yourself feeling used, abused, and discarded by her.

2. The Complainer

"Life is so unfair!" She is always the victim, and she thrives on sympathy. Her negativity is draining. When she is around, it's impossible to relax. Her bad attitude rubs off on you and brings you down. As the saying goes, don't attend pity parties - there aren't any good presents there.

3. The Jealous One 

She turns everything into a competition. She lifts herself up by tearing you down: negative comments about your looks, your intellect, your goals, and your career. It has been said, "pay close attention to the people who don't clap when you win." This is the friend who doesn't clap.

4. The Flake

She wastes your time, and you can't count on her to keep her promises. She is always late, cancels last minute, or no-shows altogether. You aren't important to her, and the unspoken truth is that the best you will get from her is the "if I don't get a better offer" commitment.

5. The Loser

Unmotivated, doesn't pursue realistic goals, and is irresponsible with her money, time and relationships. She has never succeeded at anything important because she won't finish what she starts. No matter how much of your time, energy, and emotional resources you devote to her, nothing in her life improves. 

6. The Drama Queen

Drama, drama, drama! She blows everything out of proportion and is always on the edge of ruin. She wants you to focus all your time together on her petty problems. What she doesn't understand is that just because she acts like a Drama Queen doesn't mean that people have to treat her like royalty. 

7. The Leech

Sucks the life right out of you! She is needy, high maintenance, and constantly asking you for help. You can't establish healthy boundaries. She is emotionally draining, depleting you of any energy for yourself or anyone else. You feel bad that she is struggling, but her friendship is wearing you down.  

8. The Monopolizer

She doesn't just want to be your best friend; she wants to be your only friend. She demands to be included in everything you do. You are on her 24/7 speed-dial. She is becoming a stalker, and when the doorbell rings, you hide (just in case!)

9. The Enabler

We all have weaknesses that we try to overcome, but this friend sees a small flame and throws Vodka on it! She encourages you to be the worst version of yourself. Too much partying, drinking, casual hook-ups, maybe even drugs? She pressures you to ignore your responsibilities so that the two of you can "just have fun!" After spending time with her, you usually feel regretful and disappointed in yourself.

Closing Thoughts

It's time to start showing some of these people the door! How you do it depends on what it takes for the person to get the message. You can try everything from "ghosting" to direct and unpleasant confrontation. Breaking up is hard to do; try cutting out even just one negative friend and finding someone like-minded and pursuing similar goals instead. Whatever it takes, you need to remember and recover, not forgive and forget. Respect yourself enough to walk away from anyone who is holding you back.