Step Aside, Twinks: Women Are Happier In Relationships With Men Who Can Fight To Protect Them

One of the most attractive (and often underrated) masculine characteristics women champion in men is the ability to fight and protect a woman from danger and bodily harm.

By Jenny White4 min read
Shutterstock/Darya Chacheva

As a relationship coach, I can attest to the fact that the majority of grown adult males do not possess the capability to fight and protect, and many secretly realize it’s to their own dishonor and detriment. 

They’ve never been in a scuffle with other boys in school. They’ve never been in a bar fight. They’ve never been challenged to an altercation with another man and wouldn’t begin to know how to defend themselves.

It’s unfair to blame men, however, as all forms of masculinity have been considered “toxic,” with men’s ability to defend themselves being cast as senseless and uncivilized nowadays.

According to WebMD, an online medical resource, violence has been declared “toxic masculinity”: “Toxic masculinity encourages men to use aggression and violence to assert their dominance and masculinity. ‘The Man Box’ report found that 23% of U.S. men believed that, if needed, men should use violence to get respect.”

In other words, if men were allowed to be men and defend their own person and honor (and that of their women) without being vilified as “toxic” by institutional experts and our culture at large, perhaps they’d be able to fight. And many men would even welcome it.

Nonetheless, why do women find men who can fight much more desirable for a relationship than the weaker and frail twink types among us who can’t? Let’s find out. 

Male Protection Is a Demonstration of Strength and Prowess That Women Don’t Possess

The ability to physically defend yourself is an instinct that men have carried over genetically since the dawn of mankind. This is also attributed to testosterone and the sheer size and physical makeup of men. 

By contrast, when women are under physical threat, they tend to avoid confrontation with an enemy. Women generally don’t look at another male or female and have the insatiable and unsettling urge to spar with them and charge at them with brass knuckles.

The male protective instinct taps into a profound and primal aspect of human nature that transcends cultural norms.

That’s what makes this diametrically opposed male trait so desirable to women. It is strictly a masculine characteristic that makes a man a man. Not just in human males, but in numerous species overall: "In many species, males that tend to win fights against other males are more attractive to females. There are three ways in which male fighting ability and attractiveness may be associated: (1) attractiveness and fighting ability are influenced by the same underlying traits (e.g., body size), (2) females prefer males that have directly observed winning fights, or (3) winning previous fights indirectly improves a male's chance of being preferred by females.”

The ability to fight and defend as men is to assert their dominance among other males, ensuring our safety as women.

Liberal Feminist Men Can’t Fight and They Admit It – but They Still Feel the Instinct Deep Within To Defend

Your more garden variety twink types of men can be found on the liberal feminist spectrum, with many of them outright attesting to the fact that they can’t fight and have never been in a fight before in their lives. 

Scott Atkinson over at The Guardian gives us a paltry confessional about how his inability to fight makes him feel emasculated: “And so I did what you do when you’re a liberal guy who teaches college writing and writes stories for a living. I shook my head and squinted at him like he was a lower, more barbarian life-form, and I meant it. One of three outcomes was possible: 1) He beats me up. 2) I beat him up. 3) We square off until one of us backs down. 

In any scenario, the fact that I cut him off doesn’t change, and I’m late for a chance to pick up some freelance work. If my kids had been in the car, it might have been an opportunity for a good lesson: this is how you ignore an idiot.

All good reasons, and yet there was something else at work: a consuming, spine-level electric hum I like to call The Fear. And with it, my subconscious was calling me out. 'You have never been in a fight,' it said.

I have never been in a real one, anyway – and by that I mean a streetfight with no rules, no refs, no squishy surface under our feet. This shouldn’t bother me, but at times, I feel like I’ve missed a necessary rite of passage to become a man. I’m not supposed to feel this way. I am a suburban dad, a mower of lawns and packer of lunches. I want my son and daughter to grow up feminists, and in an era when our presidential candidate openly talked about the size of his penis, indulging in thinking about the pitfalls of masculinity only deepens my shame.”

This sort of self-flagellation among modern liberal feminist men is an inner dialogue that many men of all stripes, liberal or otherwise, tend to relate to in their inability to fight. 

He’s correct when he declares it’s a rite of passage he missed out on as a man. One that makes him feel like less than a man because the manner in which he writes about it demonstrates his male guilt and embarrassment. 

Many men today have been robbed of this right of passage to manhood, and it chips away at their conscience, and they suffer lifelong regret in never realizing and cultivating this ever crucial male instinct. 

Why Women Are Happier in Relationships with Men Who Can Fight

Just as men prize beauty, long hair, ample breasts, supple curves, and beautiful legs in a woman, women prize men who are strong, capable, and able to defend and protect.

It’s instrumental in men laying claim to a woman as his own. If he can fend off other competing males, he’s considered the fearsome top dog. He’s a leader among men as he’s asserted his dominance and commands respect. 

No woman leaves a man who can provide her with a level of safety and protection that any other man cannot.

But it goes much deeper: “Throughout history, men have been revered as providers, warriors, and guardians tasked with shielding their loved ones from harm and ensuring their well-being. Yet, the male protective instinct extends far beyond mere social roles and responsibilities. It taps into a profound and primal aspect of human nature that transcends cultural norms and is rooted in our shared evolutionary heritage.”

If modern men could fight and protect, as in, they were allowed to do so without undo interference and policing from various societal institutions the world over, they would. 

And women would remain by their side and want to commit wholeheartedly. No woman leaves a man who can provide her with a level of safety and protection that any other man cannot.

Closing Thoughts

Modern day men who are twinks and liberal feminists have been robbed of their male birthright to defend and protect themselves, their honor, and ultimately, their women. 

And as the decline in masculinity continues, men who can fight will continue to surge in demand. Men have been conditioned to act more like women, where meek, passive risk aversion abounds. 

Men who can fight will always be attractive to women. And men should readapt and reintroduce their instinctual ability to fight and use it as a tool to their advantage in securing a loving relationship. Women love a man who can fight because they are doing for us what we can’t.

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