The South Korean Feminist 4B Movement: Misogyny Or Retribution?

For members of the 4B movement, this is a retaliation against a society they view as irredeemable.

The 4B movement calls upon its female members to reject four things, all with the prefix “bi-'' meaning “no'': dating (biyeonae), sex (bisekseu), marriage (bihon), and the bearing and raising of children (bichulsan) with men.

Not to be associated with the term “femcel,” these women aren’t involuntarily celibate and out of the dating pool – they’re doing so by choice. These South Korean women have felt demeaned and disrespected at best by men, and at worst, they’ve been abused and treated as sub-human. They don’t seek to change the minds of men, but to remove them from their lives in response to their experiences.

The 4B movement emerged at roughly the same time as the nation claims the lowest fertility rate in the world and can be seen as a response to it, as if to say, “We’re more than tools to further the nation,” and “Why would we serve a country that doesn’t respect us?”

If a considerable number of women ascribe to 4B beliefs or more come to believe in them, South Korea will have to do more than create financial incentives for child-rearing. If they want more South Korean women to be mothers, they will have to listen to female proponents of the movement, understand where they’re coming from, and take these women’s concerns seriously so as to avoid more women joining them.

Women Have To Do It All

South Korea, similarly to China, has been historically influenced by neo-Confucian values, which include the encouragement of mothers to bear sons over daughters because men were the ones who could further a family’s legacy and lineage. Such sentiments carried over into the late 20th century, with the prevalence of female infanticide that brought the sex ratio to 116 boys per 100 girls in 1990 (historically, the natural ratio is 105 boys per 100 girls).

Today, such sentiments appear to be changing as more parents in South Korea appear to favor daughters now. Even though, on paper, it’s good that people are favoring daughters equally to sons, if not more so (so long as that doesn’t translate to the harming of baby boys), it’s not exactly because sex-based discrimination has been eradicated.

According to Cho Young-Tae, a professor at Seoul National University's Graduate School of Public Health, societies preferred sons because the cultural pressure and interest lay in continuing the family’s lineage. But that interest is changing to value the quality of life in their sunset years (especially when life expectancies have increased) more than lineage, leading to a preference for daughters. In other words, daughters are favored because they typically stay more emotionally connected to their parents in adulthood and are more willing to care for aging parents, or at least are perceived to be better at it than sons.

This reflects how women and girls are expected to provide more when it comes to emotional labor and how it’s not expected, let alone encouraged, of men and boys. Even if you argue that some of the advantages when it comes to emotional capacity are rooted in biology, that doesn’t refute the idea that it’s important for boys to learn these skills as well. Although, it could be seen as acceptable if the emotional and nurturing work women do was actually appreciated – but it’s simply not.

South Korea greatly emphasizes the importance of work and productivity within your job. According to economist Lyman Stone, “There's a sense [in South Korea] that, particularly for men but increasingly for women as well, that your contribution in the office is really what makes you a person of status and standing in society, even more than in America.” If your identity, or perception of a successful person, hinges on being a high-achieving, high-earning, or at least a respected employee, that entails devoting time, energy, and yourself toward advancing your career.

A Normalization of Abuse

Female workers in South Korea, like their male counterparts, are expected to work and be high-achievers. That may entail working longer than a standard 40-hour work week and socializing more within the context of work, even outside working hours, like at office parties and dinners or karaoke outings. Paired with South Korea’s rampant drinking culture, even in the context of work, work socializations have unfortunately left many women vulnerable to sexual harassment (or worse, assault) at the hands of male colleagues or bosses. One South Korean government survey conducted in 2015 found that 8 out of 10 respondents reported having been sexually harassed at their workplace, with the majority of offenses taking place during work dinners.

Sexual harassment is rampant, with revenge porn and the practice of placing hidden cameras in women’s bathrooms being widespread.

Even if a woman is lucky enough not to have experienced sexual harassment in the context of work, the expectation to work arduously leaves little time and emotional bandwidth to raise and care for a family. Some women feel averse to taking time off work in order to have and raise children, as that makes it difficult for women to return to work postpartum, let alone advance in their careers. Simply put, motherhood is neither revered nor respected. How on earth would this encourage young women to become mothers?

In an average scenario, a woman works hard to get through school and university, and eventually lands a job, which she has to devote herself to, all while needing to navigate the landscape carefully so as to avoid sexual harassment. Even outside work, sexual harassment is rampant in society, with revenge porn and the practice of placing hidden cameras in bathrooms to spy on women (called molka) being widespread.

A Ubiquitous Experience for South Korean Women

Even if there were time and space for women to vet men who would love and support them in motherhood and family life, such experiences would make it exceedingly difficult to even approach aspirations of motherhood, let alone adopt an optimistic view of dating and marriage. These struggles, and how they’re faced almost ubiquitously by South Korean women, are detailed in the 2016 novel that inspired the 4B movement – Kim Ji-Young, Born 1982, by Cho Nam-Joo – and the 2019 release of the film adaptation. The widely appreciated and popular novel made waves in the public zeitgeist: It was mentioned in Korean pop culture and the media, with K-pop stars publicly talking about or praising the novel. Among them were Irene from Red Velvet, Soo-Young from Girls’ Generation, and RM from BTS.

Kim Ji-Young, Born 1982 follows an ordinary woman as she recounts the different phases of her life: childhood, adolescence, early adulthood, marriage, and the present day. The reader sees the different degrees of mistreatment or discrimination the titular heroine faces: how her mother was pressured to keep having children until she bore a son, how Ji-Young in turn was pressured by her in-laws when she became pregnant herself, and how Ji-Young struggled to find employment while seeing under-qualified or similarly-qualified male colleagues receive more support for finding employment.

The novel was written in the span of a few months, with Cho’s primary goal being to write a story that would make readers who could empathize with Kim Ji-Young feel less alone; she didn’t anticipate it becoming widely popular and a large inspiration behind a cultural movement. Still, Cho is proud to have made a contribution toward public discussion and sees some change, however small and incremental, in society. “Although change is slow,” she said in an interview following the release of her novel, “I believe that we will not go backwards.”

The Implications of 4B

No matter what, unless the treatment of women at the hands of men in South Korea improves, it seems the 4B movement and similar sentiments could end up being the answer for them. Even if South Korean men go the “passport-bro” route and find women overseas to marry, if those women are faced with mistreatment or abuse by their husbands or men in their newly adopted society, movements like 4B will suddenly be appealing to them. Or, if not to them, to the daughters of those women.

No matter how much you financially incentivize people to start families, it won’t go far if potential mothers are deterred by the lack of respect society has toward motherhood.

No matter which way you look at it, barring extreme sexual violence, women are the ones with the ability to end bloodlines and make their sexual selection based on factors beyond the capacity to provide financially. Men and their appeal to women extends far beyond their wallets and more into other realms of protection: Can he protect his wife on a physical level, but also defend her against societal and familial pressures when it comes to having children? Does he respect and support her in the household, and does he see the value in the work she does for the home? Does he see the value in her as a mother?

The South Korean government would be remiss to dismiss such attitudes. No matter how much you financially incentivize people to start families, it won’t go far if potential mothers are deterred by the lack of reverence and respect society has toward motherhood. Respect for both sexes is imperative for a healthy, free society. Presently, South Korea is falling short for its women.

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