Rich Women Fake More Orgasms, And It's Not Because They're Bad In Bed

Women have historically been hypergamous. Think about those old-fashioned balls where extravagant parties were thrown so suitors could travel from afar in an attempt to woo a woman. When she was married off, the man often had to pay a dowry to her father to prove his competence and ability to provide. It sounds archaic now, but it existed for a reason.

Fast forward to today, and women have challenged this structure entirely. The logic was simple. If we can be our own providers, we gain more freedom in who we choose as partners. What's the harm in dating a man who's cute, charming, and kind but doesn't earn as much? Why should income matter if he has other redeeming qualities?

Turns out, it might matter more than we'd like to admit.

A post on X highlighted research showing that women who out-earn their male partners are significantly more likely to fake orgasms. This finding contradicts the idea that financial independence automatically buys sexual freedom, and rather it suggests that status imbalances can create their own kind of tension. Financial "success" in a relationship doesn't always translate into relational ease. It's like buying a flashy designer handbag only to discover the zip is broken.

Wage Gap to Orgasm Gap

We've spent years fighting the wage gap, and rightfully so. If we do the same job as a man, we should get paid the same. This seems like a fair and innocent ask. But what we didn't anticipate were the downstream effects inside our relationships. We didn't realize that addressing the wage gap would bring about the orgasm gap.

This finding contradicts the idea that financial independence automatically buys sexual freedom, and rather it suggests that status imbalances can create their own kind of tension.

Modern feminism has fought for equality, or so it seemed. However, this equality has tipped, and in some areas, in the direction of women (if you exclude the faking-the-orgasm part). In many Western countries, women are now earning more degrees than men and increasingly occupying professional roles. In some age groups, they're even outpacing men in educational attainments. The movement delivered higher paychecks and greater independence, and while this may be empowering, faking an orgasm to protect a man's ego is not.

When income dynamics shift, women can find themselves navigating a new dilemma with no perfect solution. Do you deny yourself pleasure to preserve harmony? Do you suppress the tension and hope it resolves itself? Do you reject men in favor of the single bachelorette life and a collection of high-tech sex toys?

The Ego Equation

This issue runs deeper than just the orgasm. Social psychologists call it Precarious Manhood Theory, the idea that masculinity is treated less like a trait and more like a title that has to be constantly defended. In other words, manhood isn't just something a man is, it's something he feels expected to earn, prove, and defend. Considering this theory in the context of romantic relationships, it suggests that when a man's traditional provider role is disrupted, it can register (consciously or unconsciously) as a status threat. For example, if you earn more than your husband, you're figuratively striking at the heart of his masculinity. And this is uncomfortable for both parties. He may feel emasculated, and you may feel unstable in your femininity.

When a man's traditional provider role is disrupted, it can register (consciously or unconsciously) as a status threat.

The unfortunate reality is that faking orgasms is actually pretty common, with many women admitting they've done it at least occasionally. The reason is not usually incompetence or confusion about their own bodies. More often, women cite a desire to protect their partner's feelings and reassure him of his sexual competence. Suddenly, intimacy is about preserving pride and protecting your partner's ego rather than love and pleasure.

Of course, relationships are more than just sex, but the emasculation doesn't stay confined to the bedroom. If you're earning more than him and constantly managing his ego between the sheets, it raises a bigger question: what, exactly, is making him feel like a man? Traditionally, masculinity has been tied to strength and protection, and in today's world, financial provision is one of the most tangible ways a man fulfills that role. As this theory suggests, masculinity isn't a given; it has to be earned and maintained. So when a man can neither provide for you nor pleasure you, it can feel as though the very thing that defines him is being stripped away.

Princess Charming

Throughout history, women were largely hypergamous, and while we may socially normalize egalitarian pairings, our subconscious dynamics are far slower to evolve. Think about it: it's the modern-day equivalent of the cavewoman heading out to hunt while the caveman waits at home. Why do women's fantasies and romance novels so consistently feature a man who leads, protects, and takes charge? Why does the idea of 'Prince Charming' still resonate? Because it speaks to something deeply rooted. When a man feels emasculated, his sense of masculinity becomes destabilized, and often, your femininity follows. If you don't understand why this imbalance is happening, you'll find yourself lost, scrolling forums for tips and tricks, convinced that you're the problem.

But even when you love your partner, you can't simply think your way out of what's being felt on a subconscious level. When your provider isn't providing in the way you instinctively expect, a low-level tension settles in. And if you're the one out-earning him, you don't just take on a financial role; you begin absorbing a set of expectations that subtly pull you away from qualities associated with femininity. Many women describe feeling less relaxed, less open, and less able to access the softer, more playful parts of themselves when they feel financially responsible for the household. It's hard to surrender into intimacy when part of your mind never fully switches off. There's a reason memes about women finally being able to 'turn their brain off' around their man resonate so widely; they capture a very real desire to feel led, protected, and cared for.

You begin absorbing a set of expectations that subtly pull you away from qualities associated with femininity.

However you try to navigate it, the bedroom becomes an uncomfortable place to be. Do you tell him honestly and risk deflating him entirely, or do you stay quiet and slowly begin to resent the intimacy you once enjoyed? Either way, you'll end up in your own head about it. Sex doesn't require an orgasm every single time, but when you've reached the point of faking it, you're a long way from what sex is supposed to be: playful, connected, and genuinely intimate. Instead, it becomes an emotional tug-of-war where nobody really wins.

This is the unintended consequence of conquering the boardroom. None of this is an argument against female ambition or success; it's simply an acknowledgement that our psychological wiring doesn't evolve at the same speed as our social progress. The more we experiment with swapping and stretching traditional roles, the more we're confronted with an uncomfortable truth: a truly beautiful relationship between a man and a woman depends on a certain tension and dynamic that is surprisingly fragile. Ignore the fundamentals for long enough, and the whole thing quietly unravels.

Money can buy handbags, shoes, and even therapy, but it can't buy the feeling of being truly provided for. And maybe that's the one luxury we forgot to account for.