Over 70% Of Americans Cheat At Bachelor And Bachelorette Parties According To New Survey—Here's Why We're Not Surprised
According to a new survey, over 70% of Americans cheated on their partners during bachelor and bachelorette parties. Should we really continue with these toxic pre-nuptial soirees?
If you've ever recoiled at the idea of your future spouse going to a bachelor party, your reaction is justified. A survey conducted by Bonusfinder.com found that over 70% of Americans admitted to engaging in various forms of infidelity. 6,000 people, including soon-to-be-spouses and their guests, confessed to flirting, downloading dating apps during parties, sexting, and sleeping with someone who isn't their partner.
The most common form of cheating did not involve intercourse, but included lap dances (33.1%) and kissing (21.3%). Meanwhile, 11.2% of guests revealed they slept with someone else, and 9% even said they engaged in a threesome. Delaware surprisingly topped the list as the most unfaithful state, with 89% of its surveyed residents admitting to cheating on their partners during a wild night out. And Nebraska (57.1% admitting to infidelity), Vermont (63.6%), and Maine (64%) were deemed the "most committed." Hilarious.
For the longest time, these pre-wedding parties marked a person's transition from engaged to married, though at times, they're treated more as "single" to married. As disturbing as the survey responses are, we really shouldn't be surprised at all, considering many bachelor (and some bachelorette) parties involve strippers during an alcohol-fueled night. Dating expert and founder of Smart Dating Academy – Bela Gandhi – tells the New York Post, "Bachelor and bachelorette parties, it’s the last hurrah. These events are often fueled by alcohol, controlled substances, peer pressure, and a lack of communication between partners."
That's not to say all of these functions involve clubs or inappropriate settings, but let's be honest – most of them do. In fact, the words "strip club" or "strippers" are likely to conjure up in your mind when you hear "bachelor party." This brings me to my next point: If you're engaged and your partner is asking to throw a bachelor party that involves exotic dancers or clubs, I encourage you to voice your concerns and reject their request. Here's why.
These pre-wedding parties mark a person's transition from engaged to married, though at times, they're treated more as "single" to married.
I worked in a male-dominated field for years. I've spent many work hours with my coworkers, mostly married men, who would frequently travel for business trips and "entertain" their customers for work. I've been to conferences, dinners, and parties. They start off professional at first, but as more alcohol enters their bloodstreams, all go from business-like to party mode. It doesn't help that these are sexually frustrated guys who trust each other to stick to the "bro code." They'll never say a word. I've also witnessed people I assumed would never do the unthinkable make mistakes while intoxicated.
Many of my former business partners have tried to sleep with me at these events, asking me if I'd like to go up to their room, with a whiskey and wedding band in their hands. Young and naive, I'd reject them with nervous laughter and forget about it, yet I was smart enough to act drunk so I wouldn't be pressured to drink more.
I've seen married men and women escape their homelife to these business trips, seemingly executive at first, only to walk away from the group and disappear together after plenty of wine. I saw this repeatedly, but I could never accept it as "normal" like the rest of my team, regardless of how often I heard it was "just part of the industry." At one point, my emotions got to me, and I vented to one of my older male colleagues about my deep disappointment with the people who betrayed their spouses. I kept imagining their wives at home, waiting for them to patiently come back from their work trip. Perhaps I should have stayed silent, because I was left even more heartbroken with the response I got.
"Yeah, I know a lot of them cheat," he said, "but they're good guys. They really are."
I decided to quit not too long after.
Why Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties Are Dangerous
I hate to drop black pills, I really do, but a lot of people act on their lower impulses. Our society lacks discipline and morals. This, coupled with alcohol or drugs, peer pressure, and a lack of communication, is a perfect recipe for disaster. Keep in mind that I'm not just speaking about men here – women are known to cheat at bachelorette parties too.
Earlier this year, a TikToker uploaded a video and recalled the time he went to Vegas with his buddies and came across a group of bridesmaids... who all cheated. "When I was in Vegas for my birthday with my group of friends, we met this group of bridesmaids," said @squidpakter. "And they all cheated." He made a video about this and easily garnered three million views and hundreds of messages from anxious men with fiancées who went to Vegas around the same time.
He continued, "And I probably had maybe 150 to 200 guys hit me up, be like, 'Yo, my fiancée was just in Vegas. Was this her?"
A bartender took to Reddit two days ago to share her thoughts on bachelor parties. "After being a bartender for years, bachelor parties disgust me," she writes in the title, adding, "My current partner is awesome, so this isn’t really about my relationship. If I was gonna trust anyone celebrating a bachelor party, it would be my boyfriend. But honestly the whole idea of bachelor parties disgusts me now after being a bartender for years at some of the top bars in the Midwest."
"I don’t and never have worked at a strip club. These are high volume bars with bands, tourists, and guests of all age ranges. The worst though is bachelor parties. I’d say I see about 5-10 bachelor parties a weekend. And they have completely ruined my perception of what a bachelor party is supposed to be."
"These guys start out as 10 guys that sit down at my bar, getting to know me, taking shots, sipping beers – the usual stuff," she continues, "But by the end of the night, they are chasing girls, pretending they aren’t married (or getting married), buying girls drinks, letting girls sit on their laps all night, grinding with other women, going to the bathroom with other women, and honestly just seeing the bachelor party as their chance to be creeps all night."
According to @Natural-Gas-1982, most bachelors try to take "anything home with them including the bartenders" – a behavior commonly seen with very drunk men (and women) who are determined to get laid. Sadly, you can find countless stories like this online.
We all have the power to protect our relationships from harm, and as much as we want to trust our loved ones, sometimes we have to keep them from making mistakes.
Social media has fooled women into allowing their boyfriends, fiancés, and husbands to let them "be men," to be okay with them liking other girls' Instagram photos or telling them to enjoy their time at clubs with the guys. Contrary to whatever the internet says, setting boundaries does not equate to being controlling. Healthy relationships should be built on mutual understanding, respect, and compromise. It's perfectly reasonable for you to voice your concerns about events where temptations may run high. Besides, even if your man isn't necessarily getting lap dances at a strip club, they're lusting after another woman, and this thought alone should make you feel uncomfortable. So next time they're pitching the idea of a wild bachelor party, just know you're not crazy, nor are you being overdramatic. Your reaction is sane in a hyper-sexualized world that's seemingly lost all reasoning.
Evie deserves to be heard. Support our cause and help women reclaim their femininity by subscribing today.