Marrying Young Isn’t A Mistake. I Know Because I Did It.

Why does my age make some people so uncomfortable?

Growing up, getting married young was generally common and normal in my family and community. It wasn’t until I arrived at college that the idea of getting married early was discouraged. Knowing that I went to an all-women’s Catholic college, you’d think it would be filled with women who shared similar ideas and values about love and marriage. This was far from the truth. In class, the girls all talked about not wanting to commit to a long-term relationship. “I just want to get my money’s worth with my education and become a career woman,” they would often say.

Many of the girls were focused on building their careers, exploring opportunities, and figuring out life before committing to a long-term relationship. I didn’t agree with all of their choices, and I didn’t need to, but it was a good reminder that people define success in very different ways. Luckily, I found a group of like-minded girls who valued partnership, dating for marriage, and believed men might not be so bad after all. This made navigating college life much easier.

Social media trends seemed to reinforce these ideas, too. The message was consistent: there is no point in getting a college education if you're just going to get married. This is something I never understood. The idea that getting married young somehow cancels out your education and career potential. No wonder so many of my peers didn’t believe in young marriage. Our culture was pressuring women to believe that being in a relationship meant that you were giving away your independence or ability to grow.

So, Why Did I Choose Marriage Anyway?

I chose marriage because I didn’t see it as a means to slow my career down. All of the talk about “saving money until you’re ready” never crossed my mind. I wanted to build a life with someone, the way my parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents did.

Ironically, I wouldn’t say I was ever in a hurry to get married. I definitely wasn’t walking into college with the plan to receive a ring by graduation. In fact, when I began dating my now-husband freshman year, marriage wasn’t even part of the conversation in my own head.

I wanted to build a life with someone, the way my parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents did.

We had been part of the same friend group in high school, but we were never especially close. After a couple of disappointing dating experiences, I was hesitant to jump into anything new. I remember telling my mom I wasn’t sure if it was worth putting myself out there at the risk of heartache or “time wasted.” Dating felt exhausting, and my expectations were low. Her advice was so simple yet so effective: “Just go out with him twice and see if you even like him.”

So I did.

What surprised me wasn’t some dramatic, movie-style spark, but how quickly things felt clear. As we went on more dates, I realized how much we aligned: religion, politics, wanting a big family. The list goes on. Somewhere along the way, he became my best friend. Just as noticeably, I could tell his demeanor shifted. Every way he went about our relationship was intentional. Steady. Thoughtful. Protective in a way that felt grounding, not restrictive.

There’s a tendency to dismiss this feeling with the phrase “you just know,” as if certainty is something irrational or naïve. But as one Evie article, “How to Know If He Thinks You’re the One,” explains, women don’t guess a man’s intentions. We recognize them. Through his consistency, love, and selflessness; that recognition is what made marriage feel like a blessing, not a risk.

What People Think You Lose by Marrying Young

First, there’s this widespread belief that your twenties are for fun and partying. People often assume you can’t be young, free, and married all at once. In fact, as an article from the Institute for Family Studies points out, many young adults and professional women are told to wait until 30 to tie the knot so they can “fully launch their careers and arrive personally and professionally.”

Second, the fear of divorce often terrifies people. Modern dating culture says marrying young increases the risk of splitting up later. But research from the same study shows something surprising: religious couples in their twenties who wait to live together until marriage actually have the lowest odds of divorce.

I remember hearing all of this in college: the warnings, the side-eye from peers, and honestly, I wasn’t sure if any of it applied to me. Still, I felt pulled in a different direction, toward a kind of love that was intentional, steady, and built on shared values, not a relationship measured by age, statistics, or timelines. And that’s exactly what began to take shape when I started dating my now-husband; the kind of connection that makes you start thinking maybe marriage isn’t something to wait for after all.

What Marriage Gave Me (That Waiting Never Could)

Growth Happens Faster and Healthier

Marriage hasn’t paused my maturity or growth. It only accelerated it. Another woman who married at 22 echoed this, noting that early marriage forces couples to confront sacrifice, compromise, and real-world love long before resentment or bitterness has time to settle in. When I chose to commit my life to another person, I was forced to confront lessons many people spend years avoiding: sacrifice, compromise, patience, and selflessness.

When I chose to commit my life to another person, I was forced to confront lessons many people spend years avoiding: sacrifice, compromise, patience, and selflessness.

Partnership Instead of Pressure

Rather than taking away my independence, marriage gave me a partnership for life; a major difference. I wasn’t suddenly incapable of handling my own life. I was finally allowed to stop pretending I had to handle all of it on my own. There is a relief that comes with knowing someone else is equally invested in your future, safety, and stability. A woman who wrote about this explained that after years of proving she could do everything on her own, she was simply tired of being expected to. Wanting partnership, she argued, isn’t regression. It’s about what actually allows women to thrive.

Marriage Gave My Faith Skin in the Game

Marriage didn’t distract me from my faith. It demanded more of it. I had a partner to turn to when I felt myself slipping, someone who gently but firmly reminded me what really matters. Being married is like a built-in accountability partner for faith. It’s a lifelong commitment to grow together in love and in God. Faith stopped being something I merely believed in. It became something I practiced and lived daily through sacrifice, humility, and commitment. Choosing each other, day after day, made my faith tangible in ways waiting never could.

Maybe the question isn’t whether women are “ready” to marry young, but whether commitment itself might be one of the things that helps us become ready for life.

Getting married young didn’t take anything away from me. It gave me clarity, partnership, and a deeper sense of purpose. It accelerated my growth instead of delaying it, replaced pressure with shared responsibility, and strengthened my faith in ways I couldn’t have anticipated. I don’t believe there’s a universally “correct” timeline for every woman, but I do believe we’ve been too quick to dismiss young marriage as naïve or limiting. For me, it wasn’t a mistake. It was a foundation. And maybe the question isn’t whether women are “ready” to marry young, but whether commitment itself might be one of the things that helps us become ready for life.