“Mankeeping” Is The Latest Feminist Buzzword And It's Undermining Real Femininity

From "mansplaining" to "manspreading" to "toxic masculinity," recent years have seen a surge of terms vilifying men and masculinity while perpetuating female victimhood. The latest, "mankeeping," introduced by Stanford postdoctoral fellow Angelica Puzio Ferrara, is the most insidious yet. It frames the emotional labor women invest in supporting their partners—through daily struggles, mental health challenges, or encouraging social connections—as an unfair drain on women. Ferrara argues this demands urgent attention, as women shouldn't be forced into the role of their partners' therapists.

This narrative grotesquely twists the male loneliness and mental health crisis into a story of women's suffering. It's not just an attack on men; it undermines the nurturing, empathetic qualities traditionally associated with femininity, recasting them as oppressive obligations.

It frames the emotional labor women invest in supporting their partners as an unfair drain on women.

Although not as popular as other terms, ‘mankeeping’ has now gained traction with Catherine Pearson's New York Times article, "Why Women Are Weary of the Emotional Labor of ‘Mankeeping’." This piece, from one of the world's most influential publications, risks mainstreaming the term, further entrenching narratives of female victimhood and male vilification.

The New York Times should prioritize addressing the urgent crises facing men: rising male suicide rates, deteriorating men's mental health, and widespread male loneliness. These critical issues demand our compassion and immediate action. Rather than diverting focus to their impact on women, we must dedicate our energy and resources to tackling these challenges head-on, with the support of women.

The Male Loneliness Crisis

The male loneliness epidemic has become a pressing issue in recent years, driven by the erosion of traditional male spaces. Studies highlight the severity of this crisis: a 2021 survey by the American Enterprise Institute found that 15% of men report having no close friends, compared to just 3% in 1990. A 2023 YouGov poll revealed that 20% of men feel lonely "most or all of the time," with young men aged 18–29 reporting the highest rates. These statistics underscore the urgent need to address male loneliness by fostering environments where men can build meaningful connections.

The decline of male-only spaces, such as social clubs, groups, and gatherings, has left many men without the community support they once relied on. This loss has not only limited opportunities for friendship but also contributed to a broader societal misunderstanding of the value of male spaces and societal support for men.

While female-only groups and spaces are often celebrated as empowering, male groups and spaces are frequently viewed with skepticism. Democrat women, according to recent surveys, believe the most that female-only groups benefit society, while they are also the group that believe the least that male-only groups benefit society. This double standard is striking: the same group that champion female spaces as beneficial often dismiss male spaces as unnecessary or even harmful, ignoring their role in combating loneliness and helping mental health, which they are now complaining about as being a burden on women. The hypocrisy and lack of awareness is striking.

This narrative grotesquely twists the male loneliness and mental health crisis into a story of women's suffering.

To truly address the male loneliness epidemic, we need to start valuing male-only groups and spaces as vital for fostering connection, camaraderie, and emotional support among men. This means challenging the growing cultural suspicion toward masculinity and rejecting the idea that male spaces are inherently harmful. Women, too, must be willing to set aside victim-centric narratives and recognize that supporting men’s well-being is a necessary part of building a healthy society for everyone.

This is not a marginal issue; it’s a crisis with life-or-death consequences. Men are four times more likely to die by suicide, a heartbreaking statistic that demands compassion and proactive solutions, not blame or dismissiveness. And yet, in this environment, we’re seeing feminist narratives reframe the emotional support women offer men as an unfair burden. That’s not just unhelpful, it’s dangerous.

We should be encouraging women to lean into their empathy and offer greater care and connection to the boys and men in their lives, because it might genuinely save lives.

Men and boys need more resources, support, and understanding from our culture. But instead of directing compassion their way, outlets like The New York Times continue to suggest that women are the ones in need of more support. That narrative must shift, because if we keep ignoring one side of the story, we’re only deepening the crisis.

Men’s Mental Health

America is grappling with a mental health crisis, and our current system is not adequately equipped to meet the needs of men. To improve mental health outcomes for men, we must acknowledge that the system, as it stands, is often oriented toward women’s experiences and needs. For instance, research indicates that 44% of men who begin therapy discontinue it, suggesting a disconnect between the services offered and men’s unique needs. The most common answer to why men quit therapy is that they couldn’t connect to their therapist and setting.

Blaming men and their masculinity for these challenges is counterproductive and overlooks a critical issue: the mental health system may not be structured to effectively engage men. Rather than victim-blaming, we should explore innovative, male-led and male-centered approaches to mental health care. Men and women experience and process mental health challenges differently, and treatment options should reflect these differences.

One key area for improvement is increasing the representation of male therapists. Over the past 50 years, the proportion of male psychologists has declined significantly, with only about 20% of therapists today being men. Men often express a preference for working with male therapists who may better understand their perspectives, yet the field lacks male representation. To address this, we must invest in initiatives that encourage men to pursue careers in mental health professions, just as we have promoted diversity in other fields.

We need to allocate resources to male-focused mental health programs and leadership initiatives. These efforts can provide tailored support, creating environments where men feel understood and empowered to seek help. Women, too, can play a vital role by advocating for these changes and recognizing that men’s mental health requires different approaches, not as a replacement for women’s love, but as a complement to it.

Undermining The Feminine

Have you ever heard the tale of Lilith? In folklore, Lilith is depicted as Adam’s first wife, followed by Eve. Unlike Eve, Lilith is said to have asserted her equality with Adam, refusing to be a harmonious counterpart. According to the legend, this defiance led her to flee the Garden of Eden, after which she was transformed into a demon, associated with chaos and harm, including attacks on babies. In contrast, Eve is portrayed as Adam’s harmonious counterpart.

While such stories are often dismissed as myth or religious allegory, they may carry deeper significance—serving as cautionary tales about the consequences of imbalance and conflict between men and women, masculinity and femininity.

"Mankeeping" undermines the nurturing, empathetic qualities traditionally associated with femininity, recasting them as oppressive obligations.

Today, we are living in the era of Lilith, where femininity is often sidelined for a push toward “equality” defined by masculine standards. I believe true female empowerment doesn’t come from mimicking traditional male roles, but from embracing women’s unique strengths. Ironically, those loudest about uplifting women may undermine femininity the most, equating power solely with masculine traits. We’ve turned partners into competitors. This shift is creating a world that devalues the vital essence of the feminine.

Today, it’s been taken a step further. The emotional support women provide their male partners is being framed as a burden, casting women as victims in a narrative that undermines femininity itself. This perspective risks creating a world where compassion and love for others are seen as problems, prioritizing personal happiness, individualism and materialism over connection. It’s disheartening to see feminist voices in The New York Times and elsewhere, in their supposed aim to uplift women, inadvertently diminish the nurturing, powerful qualities that define femininity. This self-serving, emotionally barren mindset will only deepen the cracks in our culture.

Now is the time to confront the challenges facing men. Women can, and should, lead the way, not by casting themselves as victims of male struggles, but by championing a culture that upholds feminine strengths like compassion, love, and support for others. Let’s build a world where these qualities are honored, not overlooked—where true femininity is seen not as a burden, but as a powerful force for healing and connection.