Powerhouse singer Jessie J hasn't been in the spotlight so much recently, but she's still one of the most viewed and listened to singers on the planet.
Last year, Jessie J shared with her fans that she experienced a miscarriage, but she didn't give many details. In a recent interview on "The Diary of a CEO" podcast, she finally opened up about what her miscarriage was like and how it affected her.
Jessie J Shares Intimate Details of Knowing When She Had a Miscarriage
Jessie J said she always knew that getting pregnant wouldn't necessarily be the issue for her— "it will be staying pregnant," she said. She recalled being thrilled when she found out she was pregnant and how it completely changed her whole world in the blink of an eye.
"When I fell pregnant, I was so overwhelmed," she shared. "Your whole life just kind of instantly changes. You feel like you're carrying the most precious cargo even though it's the size of a bean sprout."
Although she was dealing with "very intense nausea" regularly throughout her pregnancy, Jessie J woke up one day and she just thought to herself, "I don't feel right." She couldn't quite explain what it was, but "I just knew something wasn't the same." She immediately went to a doctor to get a scan done. The doctor told her that her baby's heartbeat "is very low and there's this ring," but she said that could just mean that her baby "will have some type of disability or deformity."
That wasn't quite enough for Jessie J, 34, so she went to another doctor who only had 10 minutes to spare before going into surgery.
"He did another scan and he said, 'I’m really sorry, there’s no heartbeat,'" Jessie said with tears in her eyes. "That [scan] was within three or four hours of the first one."
Jessie J describes herself as "an open person," but she found it incredibly difficult to navigate her miscarriage. She lives in LA and didn't have any family around her at the time, and she ended up posting something on Instagram about her miscarriage (which has since been deleted), and thinking about it in retrospect, she realizes why she posted the news of her miscarriage.
"I posted it because I didn't have anyone there to break on," she said. "I didn't have anyone to fall apart on and that's what I needed, that's what I wanted."
So Jessie J decided to do a show the day after she got the news of her miscarriage since it was already booked before she even knew she was pregnant. She said it actually felt nice to be around people, but as soon as she got home and closed the door she fell to her knees and broke down.
"I've never felt so lonely in my life," she said through the tears. The "worst moment" was realizing that "being a mother and having a child has been the biggest excitement of my life," but that was taken away from her unexpectedly.
"It breaks my heart that so many women have gone through it," she continued.
"It was just the saddest thing, but at the same time, I knew that the reason it happened was because I wasn't supposed to do it alone and I stand by that now," she concluded. Jessie J never revealed who the father of her baby was, but she said she called her mom after her baby died and told her she knew in her heart she was supposed to raise a baby with someone who wanted to be a parent just as much as she did.