When you were a child, and someone asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up, what did you say?
Maybe you said you wanted to be a ballerina. Maybe an astronaut. Maybe a nurse, or a teacher, or an archeologist. Or maybe, when someone asked you what you wanted to be, you cradled a little doll lovingly in your arms and answered, “I want to be a mommy.”
In the age of modern feminism, “mommy” is not an acceptable answer. In some countries, like Sweden and Iceland, little girls are literally being banned from the dress-up corner — forced to trade “playing house” for classes on how to be more “assertive.” Even here at home, the notion that a woman might aspire to marriage and motherhood — in lieu of a job outside the home — is seen as horribly antiquated and anti-feminist.
The notion that a woman might aspire to marriage and motherhood is seen as horribly antiquated and anti-feminist.
Somehow, in promoting the worthwhile notion that women should be allowed to pursue whatever life path they feel called to follow, feminism has slammed and barred the door on one of those paths. It isn’t motherhood per se that’s the problem, it’s the idea that someone might eschew a career in favor of full-time parenting and the maintenance of a smoothly running home. If all you’ve ever wanted is to be a wife and mother, you — according to modern feminism — are a poor, sad victim of the patriarchy. Why else would you want to squander your intellect and your talents on household drudgery and the comfort of a man?
I’m not promoting one life path over another. My only point is that, if all you’ve ever wanted is to be a wife and mother, don’t feel guilty about that. Embrace it, and pursue it proudly.
Motherhood Is a Sacred Duty
A tiny, helpless human being has been placed in your care. If you do nothing else with your life but take care of that human being, your life will have been worthwhile. Being a stay-at-home mom is not for the faint of heart. It’s a 24/7 commitment with no sick days and no vacation time. But being a stay-at-home mom can be just as rewarding, challenging, intellectually stimulating, fulfilling, and frustrating as an office job. And it comes with the added benefit of knowing that you’re genuinely making a difference in someone’s life.
There's nothing demeaning about devoting your life to your children and your home.
If all you’ve ever wanted was to find a nice man, settle down, and raise a brood of charming little humans, you shouldn’t feel guilty about that in the slightest. There's nothing demeaning about devoting your life to your children and your home.
Caring for Your Husband Doesn't Make You a Victim of the Patriarchy
Seeing to the comfort of the man you love, who works hard every day so that you can follow your dream of motherhood, is not selling out to a sexist system. It’s no more “sexist” than looking to the comfort of a male boss to whom you owe nothing. Your partnership with your husband need not be scripted by a philosophy that doesn’t recognize your life aspirations as valid. If your husband isn’t forcing you to stay home and care for him, then your choice to do so is just as feminist as the next lady’s choice to be the CEO of some company.
Your partnership with your husband need not be scripted by a philosophy that doesn’t recognize your life aspirations as valid.
It’s very simple: if staying home and raising a family is the dream you’ve always harbored in your secret heart of hearts, follow your dream. It’s a good one.