It’s Okay If Your Big Dream Is To Be Someone’s Mom

But that’s not the scene I had this summer morning; I was thriving in a different way. It started with a walk—not to a boardroom or a barre class, but to the neighborhood park. And while I wasn’t on a reformer machine, I was breaking a little sweat pushing my two-year-old and eight-month-old on the playground swings (each at their age-appropriate velocity). 

Right then, in the middle of the playground, I felt joy take over my face as I listened to their sweet giggles. There I was—the woman standing with a cheesy grin at 9am on a weekday, perhaps blinking back a tear or two. 

How could this be subpar?

If you scroll through social media “explore” pages for five minutes, you’ll start to pick up the notion that motherhood is a lesser form of femininity. We get messages saying if you want to be fulfilled, beautiful, respected—focus on you. Don’t get tied down. Don’t settle. Don’t sacrifice. 

And honestly, it isn’t new. 

I’ve heard countless women, when I was growing up and even now, describe themselves as 'just' stay-at-home moms. Many of us were taught that fulfillment comes solely from independence, personal branding, and grinding our way to the top of an unspoken list or professional rank, one we may not even be sure we really want long term. 

Chasing dreams and chasing toddlers don’t have to be separate lanes.

The Girl Boss Gospel is loud and polished: kids will ruin your body, hijack your dreams, and slow you down.

Now let me be clear: careers, friendships, passions, interests, and taking care of yourself as a woman are all important and beneficial! But the lie we’ve been told is that those areas are at odds with and hindered by the innate desire of motherhood. 

But I beg to differ.

Chasing dreams and chasing toddlers don’t have to be separate lanes. The “girl boss” narrative isn’t evil, but it’s also not the whole truth. You can be a woman who works hard, builds things, earns degrees, starts businesses, and deeply desires a husband and children. Wanting one does not cancel out the other.

I love being a mother. It’s a dream I’ve had for as long as I can remember, even alongside my others.

I did something crazy after delivering my first baby… I signed up to become the first nursing mom to compete in the Miss USA pageant system. At six months postpartum, there I was—baby on my hip, and a little baby weight still hanging around—signing up for one of the most prestigious beauty competitions today. 

What exactly was I thinking? Honestly, it may have been a touch of postpartum delusion, but mostly, it was me chasing down a dream I’d shelved back in college, when I wanted to compete but let fear talk me out of it. Practically speaking, it would have made more sense to chase my dreams before I had kids. Try out for things in my “prime,” take risks when I wasn’t tied down, or experience the world while I could freely. But I’ll tell you something you may not get to hear often while scrolling the gram: Being a mother has given me more vision, confidence, and reason to try things, take risks, and experience than I’ve ever had!

Being a mother doesn’t set you back in life; it sets you up for more.

I think about my own mother. She was a dream-chaser in every sense. She worked hard, pursued her passions, and never stopped creating. What stood out the most to me was that she didn’t see us, her children, as interruptions. We weren’t barriers to her dreams; we were part of the dream. She brought us along for the ride, wrapped us into her purpose, and showed us that family and calling weren’t opposites; they were a duet.

What kind of legacy are we leaving behind for the girls watching us now? What will they believe about womanhood, fulfillment, and purpose—based on how we live, lead, and step boldly into every role we were made for?

Just behind the swing set that morning, I noticed two girls playing, no older than six or seven. As they ran in our direction, they stopped to admire my baby girl. They doted on her, said hello in their best baby voices, and then after a few giggles and waves, turned back to playing. But my heart melted as I overheard the new game they insisted on playing:

“Let’s play house,” one requested. And without skipping a beat the other replied, “Can I be the mommy?

There it was—that something woven into us from girlhood. That deep desire to nurture, to care, to love. It hasn’t gone away. It’s just been buried under hashtags and hustle culture.

I believe that deep within us women, innately from a young age, we sense the truth that motherhood is a beautiful gift, desire, and role. Despite what we’ve seen online or heard from radical messaging, that simple act on the playground reminded me of something deeper: there’s a desire wired within us to nurture, to build, to love, to mother.

For me, becoming a mother has been the most refining, rewarding, and revealing role. It has taught me more than books, posts, or podcasts ever could. It uncovered parts of me I didn’t know existed. It exposed my need for grace and reminded me that dependence on God is not weakness, it’s wisdom.

Motherhood, with all its challenges and sacrifices, longings and lessons, is a rewarding entrustment. Part of your femininity is your nurturing nature; with the way you care for friends, coworkers, nieces, students, or the neighbor's kid who constantly ding-dong-ditches you.

As women, we were made to create life; not just biologically, but relationally, emotionally, and spiritually. And when we lean into that calling, whether as mothers, mentors, aunties, teachers, or future wives, something within us comes alive. We begin to flourish not by chasing our dreams in isolation, but by building lives of love alongside others.

And to the woman who longs to embrace that role of nurturer, but feels like her only choice right now is sipping $9 matchas solo while she waits for her person:

You are not behind.

You are not less.

And you are certainly not foolish for wanting this.

Maybe you're in your 20’s or 30's, faithfully (or barely) hanging onto hope in the middle of singleness. You’ve scrolled past 23 engagement posts this week and RSVP’d to yet another baby shower. Let this be your reminder: there is a season for everything.

Don’t let your dreams turn to disappointment or doubt in the waiting. 

As you show up for those other good things, you can take joy in both what is and what’s still to come. This season can be one of clarified vision: learning who you truly are (not just who the world says you should be) and who you genuinely want to share your life with.

So don’t hide your longing for motherhood. Don’t let the modern world convince you it’s outdated. Don’t apologize for wanting something as sacred as a family. Your dream is not silly or self-sabotaging, it’s sacred. You can be a successful, accomplished, interesting woman and still desire to be a wife and a mother. That’s not fleeting, it’s fundamentally female. 

I just know that little girl at the park, the one who proudly called dibs on being the mommy, is going to grow up and do amazing things. Maybe she’ll be the first astronaut to land on a brand new planet, or maybe she’ll be the friend who hosts the most unforgettable dinner parties. Either way, I hope we, the women guiding her—through our words, actions, and messy, beautiful lives—show her that dreaming of motherhood isn’t something to outgrow, but rather, something to grow into with strength, purpose, and unwavering support.