“You need to date around in high school.” “Don’t tie yourself down to just one boy.” This is the advice many young girls receive but is it really the best advice?
I understand where these well-meaning advice givers are coming from. High school is a very exciting time in a girl’s life as she transitions from childhood into young adulthood. She is discovering her passions, developing her true sense of self, and becoming increasingly aware of what she wants for her future.
Many people feel girls should take this time to date different boys so they can find out what qualities they like in a partner. When I was in high school, I received the same advice from my family and friends, but in true teenage fashion, I didn’t listen. And I’m so glad I didn’t.
It Teaches You To Put in the Work
I am not going to lie. Relationships, no matter what stage of life you’re in, are a lot of work. We live in a fast-paced society where we are constantly in search of the quickest and easiest ways to happiness. Instant gratification consumes us and drives us - literally. With new self-driving cars, you can now tell your car where you want to go, and it will drive you there. If you want to learn about literally anything at all, the all-knowing Google can help you.
With technology rapidly advancing, it is important to not let that affect the way we view and treat romantic relationships. I find that most girls don’t want to date around. They want to have a special and meaningful connection with their love interest, but developing strong bonds takes time. Having a long-term relationship does not deliver instant gratification. It takes a lot of work from both partners to trust, compromise, respect, and of course, love.
They want to have a special and meaningful connection with their love interest, but developing strong bonds takes time.
It Teaches You How To Love
Not dating different boys and allowing yourself to fall in love in high school is a wonderful, exhilarating, and downright magical experience. When you fall in love as a teenager, you fall hard. I’m talking feeling head-over-heels crazy in love and believing nothing will ever tear you apart. You will want to spend every waking moment with this amazing prince of a boy and will write your names in hearts all over your notebooks.
However - and this is very important to remember - that magical state of euphoria will come to an end. The good news though is when you both truly love each other, you will put in the extra work, time, and energy to make your relationship stronger and long-lasting. When you are right for each other, you will both be willing to do whatever it takes to keep one another in your lives.
When you both truly love each other, you will put in the extra work, time, and energy to make your relationship stronger and long-lasting.
It Helps You Mature
Although having a long-term boyfriend comes with many advantages, like never having to worry about who you are going to Homecoming with, it also comes with drama, drama, and more drama. You will argue about petty things, like seeing him talking to another girl who has a crush on him. He will flip out when you say you've applied to a college across the country.
There will be lots of tears and heartache, but the deeper you get into the relationship and the more you learn about life in general, you will figure out what is and isn’t worth fighting about. You will learn that when you truly love someone, their happiness comes first. Not only will you mature and grow in your relationship, you will have done so together.
You will learn that when you truly love someone, their happiness comes first.
Ultimately, it is your decision if you want to date around or have a long-term boyfriend in high school. However, if your reason for dating is strictly that you want to determine what kind of man you want to marry in the future, most high school boys are completely different from how they will be ten years from now. Just like teenage girls, they are still maturing, finding their sense of self, and figuring out what they want for their future.
If you choose to have a long-term boyfriend in high school, it’s not guaranteed that you will end up marrying him either though. Honestly, most don’t. I didn’t. From freshman year to senior year, I had the same boyfriend, and our breakup was absolutely brutal for both of us. Despite this heartbreaking fact, I know my life would never have been the same without him. As the saying goes, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”