I'm A Birth Doula. Here's What I Wish Women Did Before They Started Trying.

Maybe you’ve heard a little about pregnancy brain and food cravings, but most people leave pregnancy prep until they’re married or trying to conceive, or even until they’re weeks or months into their pregnancy.

Most women aren’t taught how to prepare ahead of time. For many of us, learning about hormones, fertility, and our cycles has been a patchwork experience: bits of information gathered from our moms, podcasts, IG reels, friends, or late-night Google searches. We’re often told what not to do, but rarely given a clear, proactive vision for how to actually support our bodies in preparation for motherhood.

My mother is a health professional and a very knowledgeable person, but even she just didn’t have the same, updated research we now have. Cycle syncing with heightened fertility awareness only became a trend within the last 5 years or so, so the only thing most women my age knew about their cycles when growing up was that our period happened monthly (at least it was supposed to), and PMS at some point would probably make us cranky and crave chocolate.

So this is for the woman who knows she wants children someday, even if that day feels far off. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, newly married, or actively trying to conceive, this matters.

You don’t have to wait until you’re pregnant to start preparing your body for pregnancy. Honestly, I’d argue that the earlier you begin, the better positioned you are.

My Perspective as a Birth Doula

To be transparent: no, I haven’t had a baby of my own yet. I realize my perception hasn’t been fully educated by personal experience, and ideals often pan out differently in real life. But I do think ideals help provide direction and guidance. And as a birth doula, I’ve had a front-row seat to pregnancy, labor, and postpartum in a way most women don’t before experiencing it themselves. I’ve walked alongside women through long labors, unexpected complications, smooth deliveries, and difficult recoveries. And over time, you start to notice patterns.

You see what supports the body, and what makes things harder. You hear the stories women tell about how they prepared (or didn’t), and how that showed up later.

This article isn’t coming from a place of having it all figured out. It’s coming from a place of learning and paying attention, and choosing to prepare intentionally based on what I’ve learned and witnessed.

So, let’s dive in. Here’s what I’m personally doing to get my body ready for a future pregnancy (and what I wish other women would do, too).

Pelvic Floor Health: The Conversation We’re Not Having

This is one of the most overlooked areas of women’s health, and it shouldn’t be.

Pelvic floor therapy is often treated as something you only think about after you’ve had a baby, or after something goes wrong. But your pelvic floor plays a major role in pregnancy, labor, delivery, and recovery.

For women who are waiting for marriage, this matters even sooner… if you don’t want sex to hurt on the wedding night. A strong, functional pelvic floor can help prevent pain, tension, and dysfunction, not just during childbirth, but even in early intimacy. Because for many, though not everyone, the first time is often uncomfortable, and even recurrent sex can be painful if you have a tight pelvic floor or have conditions like endometriosis.

It’s not about bracing or clenching; it’s about coordination, strength, and the ability to both engage and relax those muscles.

If you’re a Pilates princess, you’re ahead of the game, because Pilates involves a lot of pelvic floor-strengthening movements that are similar to actual pelvic floor therapy. I’m a big fan of Pilates myself because it not only is a low-impact workout style that benefits the female physique and hormones, but it literally helps to strengthen your core, pelvis, and legs in a way that will only benefit you and your future pregnancy.

If you aren’t a Pilates girl yet, either become one (even if you just start with free YouTube workouts at home) or find a pelvic floor specialist to work with you. Especially if you also have a condition like endometriosis (join the club, sis), hop on it. You’ll thank me later.

Walking, probably the best exercise known to humanity, is also part of my exercise and pelvic floor regimen. Most days I’ll walk outside in nature or do incline walking on the gym treadmill, usually around 2.5-3 mph at a 10-12 incline level for 40-60 minutes.

Normalizing pelvic floor care before pregnancy shifts it from being a reactive fix to proactive stewardship that will be worth the time and cost. Think of it like an investment (because it is).

Rethinking Fitness

Somewhere along the way, fitness got reduced to appearance. Before-and-after photos. Numbers on a scale. Aesthetic goals. Yes, we want to look hot, of course. And I think it’s fun and rewarding to be able to wear the results of your discipline and consistency. But the overly materialistic, sometimes obsessive approach to fitness can turn people off, or push them toward the wrong goals entirely, ones that have little to do with functional, overall health.

But preparing your body for pregnancy forces you to rethink that association entirely. Suddenly you're training for something real. The strength and endurance you build actually matter, and the perks (looking and feeling better, rising to a genuine challenge) come along for the ride.

Doctors and medical organizations alike recommend that women exercise and make appropriate lifestyle changes before pregnancy to build a strong body that can support a healthy one. Strength matters when you’re carrying extra weight for months. Endurance matters during labor. Mobility matters for positioning, comfort, and recovery after birth during postpartum.

So many people, mothers and fathers both, have told me about the shoulder, arm, neck, or back pain (or all of the above) they developed after having babies. Holding a 7+ lb. infant for hours, rocking or bouncing the baby when it’s fussy, leaning over for nursing, pumping with the same hand, plus being low on sleep, it all takes a toll on your body.

Even beyond practical strength, the habits you build now become the environment your future children grow up in. I know that my decisions and habits now will affect my future children and my ability to carry and take care of them well, so my health isn’t just for me but also for them.

So, for me, that’s meant building a routine that supports function over appearance:

• Pilates for deep core strength and alignment (as well as for pelvic floor as I mentioned above), and I rotate between the 28 Wellness app (my main source), Hotworx for heated Pilates, and occasional group classes.

• Strength training to build muscle and overall stability. I bought myself some small 3lb. and 7lb. hand weights from Amazon to pair with body weight for when I don’t get to the actual gym.

• Incline walking for steady, low-impact endurance, as well as for pelvic floor mentioned above (I’ve noticed it’s really helped tone my legs and boost my circulation).

• Dancing weekly (I love country swing), sometimes twice a week, because it’s a cardio that actually lowers cortisol, helps boost serotonin, and obviously builds endurance.

• Stretching and (seasonal) swimming for flexibility and low-impact circulation movement.

• Time on a birthing ball every week to improve hip mobility and flexibility as well as pelvic floor muscles.

I’ve seen firsthand how women who maintained strength and mobility felt more in control of their bodies during labor. That doesn't mean everything goes perfectly, or that women who work out never tear in childbirth or always have better birth experiences than those who don't. But it makes a difference, and it's never wasted effort.

Your eating and movement habits will significantly affect not just you and your health but also your baby’s health and development. Healthy habits equal healthy genes which create a healthy baby.

Nourishing for Hormones and Fertility

Hippocrates once said, “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.” And he ate with that. Nutrition plays a much bigger role in hormonal health than most of us realize or want to acknowledge because it can be uncomfortable to have self-discipline when we crave sugar or comfort foods.

Personally, I’ve had to really work on having a healthy relationship with food and portion control and develop mindful eating habits. Instead of thinking what I’m not able to, or “should not,” eat, I now stay oriented towards what I can eat and what helps me truly feel good and nourished.

For me, that’s looked like prioritizing:

• Healthy fats (like fish oils) to support hormone production

• Protein-rich superfoods like pasture-raised eggs, wild-caught salmon, and organic poultry

• Eating whole, nutrient-dense meals (sweet potatoes are my favorite carb) and an anti-inflammatory diet

• Vitamins like vitamin C, magnesium and other micronutrients that support natural progesterone levels and overall hormone balance

I’ve also had to practice the art of leisurely eating, mindfully chewing, and having my meals sitting down rather than rushed and on the go.

This isn’t about eating perfectly. It’s about creating a foundation where the body has what it needs to regulate itself well. When my hormones are supported, I can tell that everything from my cycle to my energy levels tends to reflect that.

Your Husband’s Preconception Health

Preconception health is both the woman’s and the man’s responsibility. The father not only contributes to your baby’s genetic makeup but his health at the time of fertilization also influences how you’ll feel during pregnancy and labor and determines things such as preeclampsia, possible birth defects, and even morning sickness, so it only stands to reason that he should be mindful of his health during this time, too.

Studies show that a father's chronic illness can put newborns at greater risk for preterm delivery, low birth weight, and other conditions that require NICU care.

Smoking is one of the clearest examples of why his habits matter as much as yours. Nicotine damages sperm quality and DNA integrity, raising the risk of birth defects, and it can linger in the system for months. That goes for vaping and every other nicotine product, not just cigarettes. If he smokes, preconception is the time to stop, ideally well before you start trying. It's one of the simplest, highest-impact changes he can make for the baby, and one of the few entirely in his control.

The Underrated Power of Recovery

We talk a lot about doing more: working out, eating better, optimizing everything. But recovery is often where real progress happens.

The nervous system plays a huge role in our overall health, and especially in pregnancy. Chronic stress, tension, and burnout don’t just stay in the mind; they manifest in the body.

After learning the hard way, I’ve made recovery part of my routine rather than an afterthought:

• Getting a full-body lymphatic drainage massage every two weeks

• Stretching at least four days a week

• Having intentional (active) rest days instead of working out every day

• Making space for rest in my daily life instead of constantly pushing to the next thing

• Prioritizing better sleep. I often struggle with insomnia, but this magnesium glycinate has helped so much.

These practices help with circulation, muscle recovery, and stress reduction, all of which matter when you’re preparing your body for something as demanding as pregnancy.

When Things Aren’t “Simple”

It’s also important to acknowledge that not every fertility journey is straightforward. Paying attention to your cycle, understanding your body, and seeking guidance when something feels off can make a meaningful difference.

Conditions like PCOS or endometriosis can affect hormone balance, ovulation, and overall reproductive health. And many women don’t discover these challenges until they’re already trying to conceive.

The Mental & Emotional Side of Preparing for Motherhood

Not all preparation is physical. We’re both mind and body, so we need to take care of both.

There are questions many women carry quietly: “Will my body be able to do this? What if something goes wrong? Am I ready for what pregnancy and birth will demand?”

Even women who deeply desire children can feel a sense of hesitation or fear. That’s not something to ignore or suppress. It’s something to acknowledge and reassure. Seeking guidance, asking questions to married friends and family, and even counseling can be extremely comforting.

Preparing mentally doesn’t mean eliminating fear entirely. It means building familiarity, understanding, and a sense of trust in your body over time. The more you learn, the more you support your body, and the more intentionally you approach this season, the more grounded you tend to feel in it.

I don’t believe in controlling every outcome. Pregnancy and birth don’t work that way, and it’s actually counterproductive since that mindset doesn’t exactly lower your cortisol.

But I do believe in preparation. Not in a frantic, pressure-filled sense, but in a steady, intentional way.

Our lives are a summary of our choices. I’m taking care of my body now because it matters now, and because it will matter later.

You’re not behind if you’re just starting to think about this. You’re early. And that’s a good place to be.