If Women Are Valued, Why Do They Still Have To Act Like Men?

Over the past century, there have been significant shifts in how women are treated. We’ve moved beyond the confines of the home, entered diverse professions, and gained rights that our grandmothers could only dream of. Many would argue we’ve made great strides toward gender equality, pointing to women in leadership, science, and politics as proof of progress. But there’s a fundamental problem we must confront: the way we measure women’s value is flawed, and it’s leading humanity down a dangerous path.

The prevailing narrative suggests that for women to be valued, they must emulate traditional male traits: aggression, ambition, and a focus on professional success. This perspective, often championed by those advocating for women’s rights, inadvertently reinforces a patriarchal framework. It implies that feminine qualities like nurturing, empathy, and collaboration are less valuable, that women must act like men to matter. This is not equality; it’s an ironic form of chauvinism that dismisses what women uniquely bring to the world.

Motherhood, for instance, has been sidelined. Once revered as a cornerstone of society, it’s now often framed as an obstacle to ambition, a choice that diminishes a woman’s worth. The role of a loving, supportive partner is similarly undervalued, overshadowed by the push for women to climb corporate ladders or dominate in fields traditionally led by men. The message is clear: to be respected, women must prioritize themselves and economic and material success over their natural inclinations, their powers, and their loved ones. This is not liberation—it’s a new kind of confinement.

This is not equality; it’s an ironic form of chauvinism that dismisses what women uniquely bring to the world.

Some argue that more women in leadership would lead to a more peaceful, compassionate world. Yet, evidence suggests otherwise. Research indicates that women in leadership roles are just as likely (if not more likely) to engage in conflict or wage wars as men. Historical figures like Margaret Thatcher or modern political leaders demonstrate that women, when operating within a masculine system, often adopt its aggressive tendencies rather than challenge them. The issue isn’t women’s leadership—it’s the expectation that they must conform to a pre-defined model of power to be taken seriously. If we measure women’s value by how well they mimic men, we’re not valuing women at all.

This misstep has created a rift not only between men and women but within society itself. Over the past fifty years, we’ve been fed a narrative that pits the sexes against each other, framing men as the source of societal problems and women as their victims. This has fueled division rather than unity. The truth is, humanity’s greatest achievements since the dawn of time—our technological advancements, economic growth, cultural progress and survival—have come from collaboration between men and women, each bringing their strengths to the table. Men and women are not enemies; they are partners in building strong communities and a better world. Yet, by encouraging a war between the sexes for status and resources, we’ve lost sight of this partnership, creating a culture of resentment and competition.

The consequences are evident. Relationships and families are struggling under the weight of conflicting expectations, with women pressured to prioritize careers over relationships or face judgment for choosing motherhood. Communities are weakening as we all focus on personal achievement and materialism rather than collective well-being. Boys and men, meanwhile, are often overlooked in our zeal to uplift girls and women, leading to a generation of young men who feel alienated, angry, undervalued, and lost. This imbalance doesn’t just harm men, it harms everyone. A society that thrives requires mutual understanding and respect, where all contributions, whether traditionally masculine or feminine, are honored.

As my friend pushed a stroller holding her infant son down the street and into a café, she felt the weight of judgmental stares and rolling eyes, as if people were silently criticizing her for not being at work. Struggling to get the stroller through the door, she noticed no one offered to help. “They were all judging me because they thought I was a stay-at-home mom,” she told me. Whether those judgments were real or perceived, the deeper issue is that society harbors the notion that a mother’s role is somehow “less than,” shown in my friend’s concerns. That’s the real problem.

I frequently reflect on Nikola Tesla’s perspectives on this subject. Widely regarded as one of history’s greatest geniuses, the scientist offered profound insights into the rise of women. In one interview, he said, “The acquisition of new fields of endeavor by women, their gradual usurpation of leadership, will dull and finally dissipate feminine sensibilities, will choke the maternal instinct, so that marriage and motherhood may become abhorrent and human civilization draw closer and closer to the perfect civilization of the bee.” Was Tesla a misogynist or a prophet? I lean towards the latter.

If we measure women’s value by how well they mimic men, we’re not valuing women at all.

To truly value women, we must redefine what valuing women means. It’s not about how many women sit in boardrooms or wield political power, it’s about recognizing the qualities women naturally bring to the world. Empathy, nurturing, collaboration—these are not weaknesses but strengths that can radiate, heal and unite. Women are portals bringing new life and love into this world, and that’s the most significant power of all.

We must respect women’s choices, whether they pursue careers, motherhood, or both, without forcing them into a one-size-fits-all model of success, but we can’t forget the power women have, as women.

Dare I say, we must celebrate those, regardless of gender, who lead with compassion more than those who lead with aggression, and value the quiet, profound work of raising the next generation even more than closing a corporate deal.

Until we embrace the feminine as equal to the masculine, we’ll continue to see a world out of balance. Self-focused, aggressive behaviors will dominate, eroding families, communities, and our shared humanity. 

The path forward lies in supporting individual freedom while honoring the unique contributions of women. This isn’t about turning back the clock or confining women to traditional roles; it’s about valuing them free from the pressure to conform to an economical ideal. As I’ve said before, the root of many of our challenges lies in our shared descent into the abyss of self-serving tendencies.

Humanity, we’re at a crossroads. We can continue down this path of division and measuring women’s worth through a distorted lens, or we can choose a different way—one that encourages compassion, values collaboration, respects differences, and celebrates the full spectrum of what it means to be human, beyond how much status and resources we can claim for ourselves. Let’s stop pretending that forcing women to act like men is progress. Let’s start valuing women for who they are, not who they’re told to be. Our families, our communities, and our world depend on it.