The modern world is pretty upside down. There’s no shortage of messaging that tells men to be more feminine (“It’s okay to cry!”) and women to be more masculine (“Be a boss, you go girl!”).
The truth is, no matter how much modern messaging is thrown at us, we’re still running on the biological hardware of the past. Women want men who are strong and masculine, not weak and effeminate.
Unfortunately, modern messaging has taken a toll and made a lot of men….well, soft, and I don’t mean just physically (although that can be true, too!). It’s unfortunate, but society is not shaping the majority of men into the protectors and leaders women still need them to be. Weakness is an epidemic, but there are some signs you can learn to recognize to save you time and help you find a strong man.
A Weak Man Is Not Protective
A strong man will recognize threats and act to protect you from them. I have an ex-boyfriend who makes new phone numbers and social media accounts to get in contact with me every few weeks, even though I’ve verbalized a no-contact boundary multiple times. When I told a new boyfriend about this behavior, he aloofly said, “So? Sounds like you’re still into him.”
A strong man will recognize threats and act to protect you from them.
He couldn’t recognize that my ex was making me feel scared, and his lack of concern (and worse, his accusation that I liked this transgression of my boundaries) was a huge red flag. A masculine man is alert (not stoned on the couch!) and will protect his woman from bad men.
A Strong Man Is Action-Oriented
A strong man is proactive — he’ll call the restaurant and make a reservation, or drive 2 hours to pick you up when your car breaks down at the train station. A strong man will solve problems and get things done.
A strong man will solve problems and get things done.
He’ll lead the way for you and is solution-oriented. He will do things that are hard. He won’t expect you to do all the work for him, and he definitely won’t complain about doing things! A masculine man is a leader who loves the opportunity to take on responsibility.
A Weak Man Is Indecisive and Avoidant
A weak guy will avoid making decisions or having hard conversations. Maybe he’s not sure if he wants to be with you, and you can tell — he’ll be communicative one week and distant the next.
A weak guy will avoid making decisions or having hard conversations.
Weakness is being afraid of having a difficult conversation with you. If he’d rather take the middle road to avoid potential controversy than stand firmly in a decision, it’s a bad sign. A strong man bravely faces his decisions, makes a choice, and goes after what he wants.
A Strong Man Is Self-Disciplined
If he’s driven by impulsive feelings and gives into temptations regularly (porn, drugs, junk food, e-thots, playing video games instead of hitting the gym), he lacks discipline. Masculinity boils down to discipline; a masculine man can control his own urges and impulses.
A masculine man can control his own urges and impulses.
He doesn’t give in to distractions or temptations, and he’s not at the mercy of base hedonistic instincts. A strong man tells himself “no” and sets rules for himself. He has a regular sleep, work, and exercise schedule. He gets things done, and this makes him dependable. Discipline makes a man strong.
The difference between a weak man and a strong man is the difference between you feeling anxious or at ease when you’re with him. A weak man is a liability, and you’ll probably end up feeling more like his mother than his girlfriend! A strong man is disciplined, sets a good example, and is a good leader. You’ll want to follow him, and you’ll feel safe when you’re with him. A strong man is a good man — he’ll protect you from outside harm and from himself as well.