How To Spot A "Boy Crazy" Friend And Why You Should Avoid Them

"Boy crazy" women don't make good friends, but sometimes we dismiss their red flags because we want to believe they have good intentions. This couldn't be further from the truth.

By Nicole Dominique3 min read

"Boy crazy" women, most of the time, are walking red flags. They make their entire existence about appealing to men; they typically don't have standards and even engage in activities that could put themselves or their friends at risk. They don't always think straight, especially when their reptilian brain is set on impressing a man they have their sights on. There's a high chance they'll choose guys over their friends because of their obsession with male attention. 

The reason is obvious – they will do just about anything to gain validation from the men they're after, and in the process, they’ll usually disregard your feelings. I’ve had a friend like this before, and she never failed to suck me dry of my energy whenever she would talk to me. Every week, she would come ready with a new story about a different guy she was crushing on. She would frequently vent to me and cry whenever they ghosted or used her for sex. She would ask for guidance on whether or not she should see someone (knowing deep down she shouldn't) and ignore every piece of my advice. She would always come back to me in tears. She’d try to embarrass me to make herself look better around our guy friends, and, thinking about it now, nearly all of our conversations revolved around her.

I saw another story on social media about a woman with a boy crazy friend. They went to the bar, and her friend mingled with two men. The next thing she knew, her buddy was getting into a taxi with these strangers, and when she tried to stop her, she became rude and belligerent. These “friends” are a liability – they’ll leave you at a club alone to be with some guy they just met or take you to a stranger’s party because they're too scared of the risks to go alone. This has become so common that countless young women on social media have shared tales of their boy-addicted friends and the potentially dangerous or awkward situations they've placed them in. Then again, other male-infatuated girls aren't this bad, and the worst they'll do is flake on you as soon as they see a notification from a guy (which still isn't cool).

Another problem with boy crazy gals is their inability to focus on themselves or their goals because they’re too busy putting their energies into impressing men. If you are the company you keep, why allow yourself to be around someone like this?

Because of my passive nature and tendency to people please, it took me years to realize that my friend wasn't good for me to be around. I assume there are a lot of women like me who dismiss the glaring warning signs of a boy crazy girl and accept their shenanigans, so let's go over what you need to watch out for.

7 Signs She’s Boy Crazy

Her Demeanor Changes When a Guy Walks into a Room

TikToker Victoria Achieng' does a fantastic job explaining the red flags we should stay vigilant about. "Her face lights up when a man walks into a room. Her whole body demeanor changes," Achieng' says. "All of a sudden, she's smiling, her eyes are bright, she's lighting up. She's becoming the life of the party. Mind you, this whole time, she was not greeting anybody."

"She wasn't really interested in chatting it up," she continues, "but when a man walks in a room or a group of men of interest, all of a sudden she's Miss Social."

I've seen this switch-up myself. My friend and I were hanging out for lunch, but when a cute waiter came into the picture, she started making jokes about me to him for some reason and would giggle a lot.

The Whirlwind Romances 

This one is obvious. Boy crazy women feel good when they win approval, and so the rush they get in the honeymoon phase of relationships is something they continuously seek. Once the limerence wanes after months of being with a man, they’re off to the next one. 

She Has Poor Boundaries 

Hookups on the first date, driving to men’s houses when they don’t get an immediate response, and enabling situationships are all tell-tale signs of poor boundaries. Typically, the thirst for male attention is so strong and subconscious that they don’t realize they’re putting themselves in harm’s way.

She Doesn't Have a Great Relationship with Her Dad

According to Dr. Scott Jakubowski, Ph.D. and owner of Horizons Therapeutic Services, girls who aren't close with their fathers usually have a subconscious desire for male approval. "The research shows (and my experience is consistent with this) that girls without close relationships with their fathers are often more at risk for poor relationships with male peers. This is likely because there is a subconscious desire for male approval. In seeking for this approval, they fail to establish healthy standards."

In seeking for this approval, they fail to establish healthy standards.

They Think Every Guy Is Hitting on Them

Some girls really do get hit on a lot, but if they think this is the case with nearly every male interaction, there's a chance they're a little boy crazy. That man may have given you a big heap of lime-cilantro rice in your Chipotle bowl, but that doesn't mean he wants you.

They Have Low Standards and Ignore Men's Red Flags 

Generally speaking, if a man wants a woman, he shows it. If he’s wishy-washy or only hits you up when it’s convenient, he’s not that into you. These signs are usually ignored by the boy crazy girls because their number one goal is to feel desired – even if the guy is low-value.

They Only Want To Go Out to Bars and Clubs

I have friends who aren't actively seeking attention from men who love going to bars and clubs, so this rule doesn't always apply. The difference with boy crazy girls is that they almost always want to go where they're sure to find men to flirt with them all night and ignore you, or, worse, leave you behind for them.

Closing Thoughts

Ending a friendship is the last resort. I believe in second chances. If you're fed up with your male-obsessed friend, let them know. Tell them how you really feel in an honest, sincere but charitable way. Let them know you're informing them of their behavior because you care about them and their well-being. They're a keeper if they're willing to hear you out and make changes. If not, it's best to move on for your mental health.

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