When it comes to love, patience is a virtue that’s often ignored. The heart wants what the heart wants, right? Whether you’re trying to convince yourself that the wrong person is the right person, or you’re struggling with loneliness in being single, you’re not alone.
Many of us have been there. It takes strength to be patient for the right relationship. We all have seasons of waiting in our lives. It’s mysterious and can be heartbreaking, but love is something that is certainly worth the wait.
If you’re single and feel saddened by the fact that you haven’t met “the one,” don’t give up hope. Dating can be discouraging when it doesn’t work out with someone, but remember most rewards in life don’t come on the timeline we’d prefer. Maybe, as right as the time may feel, there is more work to be done on yourself.
When we’re young there’s an excitement about the unknown aspects of the future, but as we get older that excitement can turn into fear when we don’t feel like time is on our side. But one thing is for certain, what is meant for you will never leave you confused. So, leave the unanswered questions about your failed relationships in the past and try not to dwell on the perplexity of why you haven’t met the right one.
Instead of thinking of this as a season of waiting, try looking at it as a season of preparation.
Instead of thinking of this as a season of waiting, try looking at it as a season of preparation. Here are a few things you can do while you’re single that can help you prepare for meeting the right person and ultimately, for marriage:
Focus on Growing a Community
Single or not, it’s so important to have solid friendships. But keep in mind that it’s ok to outgrow some people. As we mature, we develop into more of who we want to be and what we want out of life can change. It’s only natural for us to gravitate towards different people as we move in these new directions.
You may not always be in the same stage of life as your friends, and that’s ok. It’s not necessary to be exactly in the same stage because we can still learn from each other’s experiences. Rather, it’s essential to have friends who are going in the same direction - people who are moving forward in life in a way you admire and respect, and whose priorities and values align with yours.
Anyone who is married will tell you that there are seasons of loneliness in marriage as well. So learn from your coupled friends and really understand that it’s crucial to have people you can count on even after you’ve met someone.
It’s essential to have friends who are going in the same direction - people who are moving forward in life in a way you admire and respect.
You might be surprised at how the right community can lift you out of the desolation of feeling alone. If you have countless friends and still feel lonely, it’s probably time to make new ones.
Focus on Your Financial Security
Having peace of mind over your finances can do wonders for your confidence. If you can be self-reliant and stand on your own two feet when you’re single, imagine how successful you'll feel as part of a team?
Financial stress can be a trigger for anyone, so it’s understandable that money problems strain marriages and are a leading cause of divorce.
If you have student loans or excessive debt, there’s no better time than now to start getting them paid off. This is also a good time to analyze your spending habits and consider if they might negatively impact a future relationship.
Focus on Mastering Self-Control
Don’t wait until you’re in a relationship to fix any bad habits. Accountability is effective in changing negative behavior, and true strength is being able to hold yourself accountable.
If you are longing for a healthy and satisfying partnership, it’s important to also be willing to recognize where you have made mistakes in the past and decide how you’re going to keep from repeating them. Invest in personal growth now, and you’ll experience the payoff in a healthier relationship in the future.
Self-control and patience are synonymous; they can both be defined as a willingness to endure.
Believe it or not, self-control and patience are synonymous; they can both be defined as a willingness to endure. You have to be willing to endure some delayed gratification, rejection, and loneliness now in order to find the right person.
Willpower is what gives you the capability to uphold your standards and refuse to settle for less than you deserve. This self-control strengthens your confidence and self-worth.
The truth is, if you can remain hopeful and not get discouraged by being single, you’ll be able to see the value in a season of waiting and preparation. A steadfast marriage is a product of a couples’ willingness to endure. Remember, love is not to be hurried or chased after; love, in its very definition, is patient.