How To Manage A Long Distance Relationship

      By Mary Mayor·· 3 min read

      As the old saying goes, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I would add, “but it doesn’t make long distance any easier.” Here are some ways to manage a long distance relationship:

      1. Be old-fashioned: write letters

      Letter writing to your love not only is so romantic in the moment but you also can save your letters in the future. I still have some handwritten letters from my husband that he wrote me years ago while he was in an overseas rotation program that took him to the United Kingdom and across the country. I always appreciated receiving a letter from him because not only did it demonstrate that he took the time to sit and write one by hand which showed how much he cared about me but also because it was a way that he could articulate his thoughts so clearly.

      I also enjoyed writing letters to him because I could gather my thoughts and put them on paper in a way that was more organized than just talking out loud on the phone. Writing your thoughts down on paper gives the relationship a special type of intimacy and also can be therapeutic. The joy and anticipation of expecting a letter and then finally receiving it is so exciting! Plus, if you end up getting married, it's incredibly romantic to save all the letters you received when you were young.

      Writing your thoughts down on paper gives the relationship a special type of intimacy and also can be therapeutic.

      2. Talk on the phone

      Of course, you want to hear your love's voice, so instead of just texting back and forth, be sure to actually talk to each other. If you know that your significant other has a crazy schedule or is in a different time zone, be sure to schedule a time to talk ahead of time to limit interruptions and distractions. Scheduling that quality time in for each other is important to continue growth and maintain stability in the relationship.

      3. Skype/Video chat

      Even better than talking on the phone, you may be able to video chat or Skype which allows you to actually to be able to see the person. A warning though: when you see the person, it can cause frustration because while you can see them, they still are not there which can be difficult to reconcile. On the bright side, you get to see his adorable facial expressions that you miss so much! Again, arranging a time to video chat or Skype is important to reserve special time for your significant other.

      4. Hang out with your family, friends and your significant other's friends and family

      Luckily, I was in a position where I got along very well with my now husband’s friends and was able to hang out with them when he was gone. We would have game nights and talk how much we missed him. We also shared stories and jokes. It was very comforting to spend time with them. I also went to parties and events with his family and bonded with them. It gave me an opportunity to know my husband’s relatives without him being there, and therefore they also got to know me better without his presence. Finally, I spent a lot of time with my friends and roommates because we enjoyed each other’s company, and it lessens the blow and heartache when you have people around you to enjoy fun things with!

      5. Work Out or Stay Active.

      Your body and your mind will thank you because of the endorphins and overall sense of calmness and wellness that comes from a good workout. And, your significant other may appreciate it, too! If you are not into working out, still take care of yourself by walking and clearing your mind. It is essential to take good care of yourself while your significant other is gone because it can be difficult.

      6. Pray.

      Pray for the safety of your significant other. It takes a lot of courage to go long distance in a relationship because you have to trust your significant other will be faithful and come back to you. You do not have to bear anxiety or worry alone. What's meant to be will be. You just have to trust and show your boyfriend how much you care about making this work by putting in the time.


      If you follow the above tips, the wait and anticipation in reuniting with your significant other will become more bearable. While it might not necessarily get easier, you are being prepared for the future of your relationship!