How To Make College Count If You Want Marriage And Family After Graduation

For many women, the dream doesn’t stop at a diploma or a fulfilling career. Marriage and motherhood are also part of the picture, yet it’s easy to overlook how the choices made during college can either support or complicate those goals down the road.

That’s why it’s worth pausing to think beyond graduation. What do you want your life to look like five, ten, or fifteen years from now? And how can the way you approach college today help set the stage for that future?

Here are five areas where college women who envision marriage and children after graduation can be more intentional, so they’re not just preparing for a career, but for the life they truly want.

Pay Attention to the Male-Female Ratio When Choosing a School

A majority of young people right now want to get married. Interestingly, there is a split by party in the most recent Harvard Youth Poll, with 75% of Republicans responding that getting married is important compared to 56% of Democrats.

Don’t put yourself at a disadvantage from the start. Since the 1981-1982 school year, women have earned more bachelor’s degrees than men. As of spring 2021, women made up 59.5% of total college students. It's great to see women seeking education, of course. But fewer men on campus causes a shift in the relationship culture. In his book, Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game, author Jon Birger offers an economic explanation for the romantic opportunities in our lives and describes how demographics can affect the ways we date, love, and marry. In places where there is a “man deficit,” or an undersupply of college-educated men, men are less likely to commit.

In places where there is a “man deficit,” or an undersupply of college-educated men, men are less likely to commit.

He writes, “Colleges with disproportionately high numbers of women tend to have the most intense hookup cultures, whereas campuses with enrollments that skew male tend to be those where monogamy still reigns.”

As you’re choosing a college, it’s worth looking beyond academics to the campus culture, and yes, even the numbers. Some schools today have student bodies that are 60% female or higher, and students at those campuses often notice the imbalance when it comes to dating. If finding a serious relationship during college is one of your goals, you may have a better chance at a school with a healthier male-to-female ratio. Of course, demographics shouldn’t be the only factor in your decision, but understanding how they shape the dating culture can help you make a more intentional choice about where, and how, you want to spend these formative years.

Choose Your Major with Intention

When you’re deciding on a college major, don’t just think about your first job after graduation; think about the kind of life you want five or ten years down the road. Your field of study doesn’t just shape your career options, it can also influence how flexible your work will be once you have a family.

For example, being a journalist often requires working on strict deadlines, and is less flexible than, say, a marketing specialist with set project timelines for a client. Both use communications skills, but in different ways and with different schedule requirements.

Also, you should think about developing specific skills that will translate beyond working at just one company or in one job. All companies need accountants, for example. If you learn accounting, you could work at a large accounting firm after graduation and then go to a smaller company with more flexible hours if that’s what you want down the road.

In short, don’t just pick a major you like in the moment. Pick the one that sets you up for the kind of career and family life you want to build.

Find a Conservative Mentor

Depending on your campus culture, you may choose to keep your views to yourself in class. That can be a wise strategy, but behind the scenes it’s invaluable to find a professor or mentor who shares your values. The right mentor can open doors you might never know existed.

This mentor can point you to opportunities on campus and beyond that align with your views and values. For example, when professors host or sponsor speakers, they may invite a few students to go to a meal or join a private discussion with the speaker. Not only is this enriching in terms of discussion and debate, but it could also lead to an internship or job.

If marriage and motherhood are part of your vision, college can be more than just a stepping stone to a career—it can be the foundation for the life you hope to build.

When it comes to applications, recommendation letters matter just as much as your GPA. If you’re hoping to work at a think tank, policy group, or company where ideological alignment matters, a mentor who can vouch for both your skills and your values will set you apart. Many professors also stay connected with alumni networks, giving you a pipeline to opportunities like part-time work or flexible roles that fit your life stage.

Invest in Relationships Through Fellowships and Internships

The classes you take will teach you plenty, but some of your most valuable lessons, and connections, come from fellowships and internships. These opportunities don’t just build your résumé; they introduce you to mentors, peers, and supervisors who can open doors later on. If you treat an internship like a real job, you might even turn it into one.

Just because an internship ends doesn’t mean your relationship with your bosses should. Email them to stay connected (and not just when you need a new job.) I love it when former interns reach out to update me on their lives. And those interns are often the ones I think of when someone asks me if I can recommend anyone for a new position. In other words: don’t just collect experiences, invest in the people who come with them.

Surround Yourself With a Supportive Community

College isn’t only about academics, it’s also about the people you choose to do life with. The friends and groups you surround yourself with will shape your values, habits, and confidence. Be intentional. Seek out communities that support your vision for the future, whether that’s joining a values-aligned club (like the Network of Enlightened Women), building friendships with people who encourage your goals, or simply choosing peers who bring out your best.

Having a strong community will support you when it matters most. It’s not easy talking openly about wanting to be a wife and mother on campus in today's society, so surrounding yourself with people who care about you and your goals will give you the courage to make the best decisions for you.

If marriage and motherhood are part of your vision, college can be more than just a stepping stone to a career—it can be the foundation for the life you hope to build. That might look like being intentional about where you enroll, choosing a field of study that leaves room for flexibility later, or nurturing relationships that will support you long after graduation. The key is to think beyond the next four years and picture the future you want. When you let that vision guide your choices now, you’re not just earning a degree, you’re setting yourself up for the family, career, and life you’ve always dreamed of.