How To Instantly Be In The Top 10% In A Culture With No Game

Take a look around you. Virtually everyone on the dating scene has no game, and situationships, talking stages, and ghosting reign supreme.

By Jenny White3 min read
Pexels/Anastasia Ilina-Makarova

The aforementioned can be chalked up to the fact that vast multitudes of people have no game; otherwise, they wouldn’t find themselves in a revolving door of unloving, unattached, and perpetually fleeting relationships. 

What exactly is game, though? 

Game refers to having a way with men or women that makes you very desirable, attractive, and compelling. And if you play the game right, it also makes you irresistible to the opposite sex. 

Gen Z refers to game as “rizz,” which is short for charisma: "Rizz" is a slang term often used to describe someone's ability to flirt and be charming, especially for their verbal communication while pursuing a romantic interest. If someone has ‘rizz,’ they are often considered attractive or alluring because of their charismatic way of communicating. That may still be true even if you do not find that person attractive.”

As a relationship coach, I can attest to the fact that people are severely lacking in both verbal and non-verbal communication skills as described above. Charisma is absent in people across the board. Having a memorable and stirring interaction with a person is akin to finding a needle in a haystack. And this causes people to lose interest, oftentimes immediately. When people can’t feel something for you through verbal and non-verbal communication, they can’t connect with you. And very soon, they ghost.

So how can you cultivate game, or “rizz,” as it's called today? And what can you do starting this very moment to be in the top 10% of people who can command attention and interest in the opposite sex and sustain it?

Allow More Time and Space Between Texts

Human beings are ill-equipped to thrive romantically in today’s instant gratification and dopamine culture brought on by modern technology. 

An integral part of my coaching and the relationship advice I publish both on my blog and social media centers around allowing much more time and space in between texts. 

There’s a bit of pushback on these methods from singles who insist, “If I don’t text them back right away and let them know I’m interested, they will lose interest in me.”

This is false. In fact, just by virtue of a person spacing out texts, while in between dialing up the “rizz” in a titillating back-and-forth conversation, people get very easily hooked. It happens every time with my clients. There is such a tremendous absence of this needed space in communication between people, and as a result, many have become accustomed to taking people for granted.

People have become very predictable and therefore boring and unable to sustain a person’s interest. Virtually millions upon millions of people text and communicate with others in this manner as it’s engrained in the culture to do so.

Whenever I instruct my clients to space out their texts, they notice an immediate difference in the way the other person responds. They suddenly want to monopolize their time, and their attention is strictly focused on them. 

Asserting Boundaries Is a Must

Another phenomenon that is pervasive in modern dating culture is the lack of boundaries toward inconsiderate and downright cruel behavior from others.

In fact, it’s so widespread (hence ghosting and situationships) that it’s taken on the same pattern as highlighted above; people treat each other badly because they believe that if they assert a boundary, people will not like them or approve of them and they will lose interest. Thus, they allow the terrible behavior to continue, often indefinitely.

This false idea is also a fatal mistake to anyone who buys into it and refuses to set boundaries. You again become very predictable. You become easily swappable and mediocre in the other person’s eyes because there’s nothing valuable or worthwhile about you that would require you to set a boundary against their egregious behavior. 

Say a guy insults you or demands sex on the first date. Many women would put up with not only the insult, but would actually consider sleeping with the uncouth, foul-mouthed jerk because she’s afraid he won’t like her or approve of her if she protests. 

What you should do instead is tell him to take hike, then get up and walk right out. Set that boundary and be unflinching about it. You’d be surprised at how much of a positive impact this will make on even the biggest and most horrid jerks among us.

Bad treatment toward others and a lack of boundaries are rampant in our culture. And once again, when I instruct my clients to put up a boundary when it’s sorely needed, the other person always changes their tune for the better. And they readily come back wanting more.

It makes people very curious about you. Boundaries make you more valuable and worthy as a person, and others will take you much more seriously.

Stop Letting People Waste Your Time

Your time should be treasured, and that should be conveyed to others so as to avoid them wasting your precious resources and emotional investment.

The dopamine pipeline with virtually hundreds of people at the click of a button renders the majority of singles unable to stand out. That is, unless you’re willing to execute the game techniques and rizz described above, where you will find success. 

A person who wastes your time only does so because you don’t value your own time. Letting a guy come and go, text and disappear, and flake on you after arranging a date and vanishing needs a boundary; your precious time cannot be wasted.

Furthermore, many women will waste additional time and emotional resources trying to convince a man what he did wrong in the above scenarios. They will send him text after text, detailing his mistakes.

My advice: don’t bother. Another very useful game tip in confronting these situations is to ignore him completely. Don’t answer his texts and watch them begin piling up one right after the other.

You don’t need to explain to a person why your time is valuable. Simply show them it’s valuable by withdrawing it. And sit back and watch any man start chasing you, clamoring for more of your time and attention.

Closing Thoughts

You may have been under the mistaken impression that game and rizz are all about showing up for a man, being available 24/7, and giving away all your time and emotional resources to keep his interest.

Wrong. You must start being more selective with your time, enforce boundaries, and stop letting others treat you horribly. This alone will place you in the top 10% of people who are killing it on the dating scene. People will be lining up for some of that rizz magic you possess above all others.

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