How To Give A Lap Dance: A Step By Step Guide For Wives

Lap dances don’t have to feel “trashy,” and you don’t have to be a professional dancer or know how to twerk to give a great one. Disclaimer: This article is intended for readers 18 and older. It contains explicit adult content and is intended for married women for educational purposes only. Reader discretion is advised. Picking the Music The right music sets the tone for the lap dance. It’s the difference between it feeling cheesy, sensual, trashy, or hot. I struggle to find any sex playlists on apps like Spotify that don’t feel ghetto and vulgar. Choose a few songs that fit your taste (or his) so you have enough background music to last several minutes. Picking Your Outfit A lap dance can be done in a variety of outfits. I’ve done it in skin-tight activewear, a bikini, a cocktail dress and heels, lingerie, and countless others. If you look sexy and your outfit isn’t too thick or restrictive, almost anything will work! NOTE: If you plan on stripping down to your underwear, you can peel off layers as you go. If he’s wearing jeans, consider unbuttoning them halfway through for more comfort and to feel closer to his body. The most intense friction will be when he’s down to his boxers and you’re in panties or a thong. You’ll be able to grind against his erection through his underwear, and it will drive him mad. A Step-by-Step Guide 1. Get him in place Make sure he’s sitting in a sturdy chair without armrests. Once he’s ready, play the music. 2. Approach and Touch Stand a few feet away from him, slowly swaying your hips to the beat of the music. Keep your movements fluid. I recommend subtle movements here over dramatic ones, as dramatic can feel forced and cheesy. Make eye contact and give him a teasing smile. I like to stand behind him and slide my hands down his arms, over his chest, and brush my lips gently against his neck. Then walk back in front of him, turn your back to him, and sway your hips as you peek over your shoulder. 3. Close the Distance Stand between his legs with your bottom facing him. Arch your back and place your hands lightly on his knees. Slowly lower yourself toward his lap, stopping just short of contact. Here you’re going to hover and tease. Move your hips in a slow, figure-eight motion, hovering just above his lap without sitting. The lack of direct contact will make him want it even more. Allow your thighs to graze his legs and your hands to brush the inside of his thighs, rubbing his legs slowly while getting dangerously close to his crotch. 4. The Straddle Now’s the time for contact. Mount his lap by sitting on him, facing him. Let your knees rest on either side of his thighs for stability. Begin to grind your hips in small, slow circles, gradually building pressure against him. You can wrap your hands around his neck and slightly arch your back, accentuating your chest. Squeeze your boobs together with your elbows or run your hands up your torso. You can lean in close as if you’re going to kiss him with your lips open hungrily, but stop just short. Let your lips hover near his, then pull back with a smile. 5. Turn Up the Heat Deepen the grind by pressing your crotch directly against his. Slowly move your hips forward and back, mimicking the rhythm of sex. Keep it deliberate and intense. Alternate between slow, rolling motions and quicker, more playful grinds to keep him guessing. Bouncing slightly can be very hot. Lift your hips slightly off his lap and lower yourself back down with a controlled motion. This creates a bouncing effect and extra friction that makes him think of sex. 6. The Back Turn Spin around to show off your backside. Let your hair brush against his face as you pivot. Bring your bum into focus by leaning forward slightly, hands on his knees, and grind deep into his lap. Dramatic, circular grinds are key here, and throw in an over-the-shoulder glance for extra seduction. 7. End with a Sensual Kiss I like to end with a deep french kiss, like you’re hungry for him. Whether you leave him craving more or transition to sex is up to you and the situation. How to Pace It First 2-3 Minutes: Start slow and sensual, teasing him with minimal contact and subtle grinding. Think light touches, swaying your hips, and grazing his chest or face with your body. Middle 3-5 Minutes: Ramp up the intensity with bolder moves—grinding, deep eye contact, and whispering naughty things in his ear. Final 2 Minutes: Get as close as possible, press your body against his, and make the contact more intimate. If you plan to remove any clothing (yours or his), this is the time. Learn Your Grinds The key to a hot lap dance is knowing your grinds, starting with the whine . In the context of dancing, whining refers to a sensual, rhythmic movement of the hips, often in a circular or figure-eight motion. It originates from Caribbean and African dance styles and is a common element in dances like dancehall and soca. To learn how to whine, use the following video as a guide: Once you can whine, work on getting comfortable with the following types of grinds. Think of them as tools in your toolbox to bring to a lapdance in whatever variety or order you wish. 1. Slow Circles How: Sit on his lap, straddle him, and move your hips in slow, deliberate circular motions. Keep the circles tight for a concentrated grind. Why It’s Hot: The continuous motion creates constant friction, especially if you’re pressed firmly against his crotch. Pro Tip: Add a slight bounce to your circles to mimic a sexual rhythm. 2. Forward and Back How: Slide your hips forward and back along his lap. Focus on pressing down as you move for maximum contact. Why It’s Hot: It mimics the natural motion of sex and builds intensity. Pro Tip: Maintain eye contact as you move to add an emotional connection. 3. The Figure Eight How: Trace the shape of an "8" with your hips, alternating between wide, sweeping motions and tighter, more controlled ones. Why It’s Hot: The variation in movement keeps him guessing and stimulates multiple areas of contact. Pro Tip: Breathe audibly and make gentle moaning sounds. 4. The Bounce How: Lift your hips slightly off his lap and lower yourself back down with a controlled motion. Repeat with a slow, deliberate rhythm. Why It’s Hot: The bouncing motion mimics the feeling of riding him. Pro Tip: Run your hands through your hair or over your body. 5. Side-to-Side Grind How: Rock your hips from side to side while staying firmly pressed against him. Add a slight sway to your shoulders for extra allure. Why It’s Hot: This movement creates pressure in different areas, keeping the sensation fresh. Pro Tip: Let your hair fall into his face as you move for a playful, sensory tease. 6. The Lap Slide How: Start by sitting higher on his thighs and slide down toward his crotch, using slow, gliding movements. Repeat in a continuous rhythm. Why It’s Hot: The sliding motion builds anticipation as you slowly close the distance between you and his crotch. Pro Tip: Pause briefly as you reach his crotch before sliding back up to tease him even more. 7. Grinding in Reverse How: Turn your back to him and sit on his lap, then grind your hips in any of the above patterns. Focus on pushing your booty firmly against him. Why It’s Hot: This position gives him a full view of your curves while still allowing you to create friction. Pro Tip: Arch your back to enhance the movement and show off your silhouette. 8. The "Stop and Go" How: Grind intensely for a few seconds, then stop abruptly and hover just above his lap. Hold for a moment before resuming the motion. Why It’s Hot: The sudden pause builds suspense and makes him crave the next move. Pro Tip: Use this break to tease him with a sultry look or a slow, deliberate touch to his chest, thighs, or crotch. 9. Full-Body Grind How: Instead of isolating your hips, incorporate your entire body by moving your chest and shoulders in sync with your grinding. Why It’s Hot: It creates a more sensual, intimate experience that feels like a dance and foreplay combined. Pro Tip: Let your boobs brush against his chest or face as you move. For the Visual Learner If you’re a visual learner, here’s a good starting point on how to give a lap dance from start to finish: As with any performance, confidence is key. Don’t rush it, and don’t overthink it. The more confident you feel, the more pleasurable it will be for him. Have fun!