How To Accept (And Love) Life Transitions

Whether it’s graduating from college, navigating a breakup, moving cities, receiving an unwanted diagnosis, entering motherhood, etc., there are countless seasons of change we’re bound to go through during our time on earth. No matter how big or small, how exciting or dreaded, these transitions can alter the entire experience of our existence – for better or worse.

When we think of change, we often think in terms of one door closing and another door opening. In the case of a career change, for instance, we might imagine that the transition is as simple as leaving one job and starting another. What more is there to it? In truth, though, life transitions are never a linear process of experiencing a change and just moving on. Instead, these changes force us to confront our current realities in light of the past – which can leave us aching for what has been lost and unwilling to accept the unknown ahead. 

Even when we feel excited for what’s next, moving on means leaving something behind. And let’s face it, letting go is hard. It requires us to face the end of something that was once fulfilling – or at least familiar – to us, which can lead to discomfort and doubt. To make things harder, there’s no manual for how to handle these transitions or embrace change, and it can be a painful process of trial and error – and time – to figure out how to move forward. 

That said, however, there are some proven, practical steps we can take to make the transition into a new season a little more graceful:

Take Off the Rose-Tinted Glasses 

When starting a new chapter, it’s inevitable to want to compare the present to the past and to linger in the nostalgia of how things used to be. Even if things weren’t so great, we tend to cling to what’s familiar and romanticize it. In fact, researchers have found that memories associated with negative emotions fade faster than those associated with positive emotions and that this phenomenon (a.k.a. fading affect bias) is more pronounced when we experience discomfort in the present. 

While this experience can be beneficial in some circumstances in order to mitigate the pain we feel from certain memories, it can also cause us to forget the reasons that pushed us into change in the first place (e.g., wanting to get back together with an ex because our minds have softened the issues that led to the breakup). It’s impossible to move on without first acknowledging the full realities of the past and its imperfections. In the case of a breakup, for example, it could be helpful to write down the reasons that led to that point in order to avoid doubts about it in the future and to see the blessings in the change. 

Look for Glimmers of Gratitude and Hope

It’s not enough to stop romanticizing the past; we must also find reasons for gratitude and hope in the present. Our current state is not just an idle intermission until we settle into a new normal or reach our next milestone. Each moment of our lives is a grace, and periods of transition are perhaps the greatest opportunities to start dreaming and hoping again. 

Take motherhood, for example. In becoming a mother, the sense of loss of self can be overwhelming. In the hardship of the transition, women can be quick to forget that the gift of a newborn was something once longed for. Reminding ourselves of our blessings and noticing the little things that make us smile even in the midst of suffering can help cultivate an awareness of the unexpected potential found in the here and now. Things might feel uncertain and uncomfortable in the moment, but how can we reframe our perspective to include gratitude? Instead of being resentful that one season of life is ending, how can we appreciate what we gained through that season and look forward to what our current season might hold?

In unraveling our deepest beliefs about ourselves and who we are, transitions create space for who we might become.  

Prioritize Self-Care

When going through major changes, there are bound to be some bumps and hiccups along the road, and it can be tempting to become overwhelmed and feel like a failure as a result. Rather than keeping these emotions stuffed down, though, it’s important to let ourselves feel them in their fullness, without judgment, in order to work through them. Prioritizing self-care activities that foster our mental and emotional well-being can help us clear our heads and process what we’re experiencing. Take a bath, get enough sleep, listen to good music, journal, go for a walk, revive old hobbies – there are countless opportunities to channel our emotions and stressors into positive momentum.

Accept Support from Friends

This tip goes hand-in-hand with prioritizing self-care and being kind to yourself: Allow friends to be a comfort and support. Going through change doesn’t have to be isolating. Even if our friends haven’t lived through the exact situation we find ourselves in, there’s a good chance our loved ones will still be able to relate on some level, as well as empathize with and encourage us through the process. Receiving reassurance and comfort from voices we trust can be a massive help in restoring our sense of self and confidence. Their words can be powerful reminders of who we are and who we’re meant to be.

Disconnect from the Digital World

Although the internet can be a great tool for connecting with others, it can also lead to intense feelings of loneliness and depression. When going through a life transition in particular, it can be so tempting to look to social media for examples of others who are living out similar seasons well. The problem is, most of the examples we see end up leading us to compare our lives to theirs, which just amplifies our insecurities.   

Undergoing a digital detox allows us to reconnect with ourselves. When we take a break from the noise of social media, we give ourselves the space to hear the quiet movements of our hearts and honor the intrinsic value found within. There is far greater validation to be found in the “real world” than in the number of likes or attention we receive online. 

Closing Thoughts

Whether we realize it in the moment or not, all seasons have a sweetness to offer. Yes, some seasons might be bittersweet, but there are treasures to be found even in the darkness. In unraveling our deepest beliefs about ourselves and who we are, transitions create space for who we might become. They offer opportunities to expand our hearts, deepen our character, and lean into new understandings of the world around us. 

If there could be one guiding principle for navigating seasons of change well, it might be this: Let this present moment mean something. Our lives don’t have to happen to us, like something we have no control over. We might not be able to control everything, but we can control how we respond to the challenges we face. Will we hold onto the past and despair over the future? Or will we strive to make the most of the season we find ourselves in? 

Support our cause and help women reclaim their femininity by subscribing today.