What's the secret to a long-lasting relationship? Is it communication, commitment, compromise, sex? Sure, these things are essential, but the thing that keeps the relationship moving and the spark alive is passion.
Without passion in your relationship, life can get boring, and when boredom creeps in, it can quickly turn into dissatisfaction.
But every couple is different. Some couples have a ton of chemistry initially but find it fades over time, while others build up their passion gradually. And some couples have been passionate about each other since the day they met, even after 50 years of marriage.
So what's the right amount of passion a relationship needs, and how do you keep it burning to sustain a lifelong romance?
The Right Kind of Passion
Life is a long road, and if you want to sustain a lifelong relationship with your husband, then you're going to need a lot of passion. And it's not just the lovey-dovey kind of passion we're used to thinking of.
Sure the chemistry and passion you feel in the beginning is amazing, and it's needed to bring two people together to form a relationship, but those feelings slowly fade over time. This feeling is not unique to any one partner because if you break up, you'd likely feel that exact same passion with the next person you date, and the next person, and so on. It’s that initial endorphin rush that can make you fall quickly, but not necessarily deeply.
Passion requires time, life experiences, commitment, understanding, sacrifice, and a whole lot of love.
Real passion is more enduring, loving, deep, and profound. Real passion lasts and gives a couple the strength to go that extra mile, even on days when you don't like each other very much. Or when you go through seasons where everything is tough, and you don't know if you'll come out the other side.
This kind of passion requires time, life experiences, commitment, understanding, sacrifice, and a whole lot of love. It's the passion that everyone craves, but it only happens after you've put in a tremendous amount of work into your marriage, day in, day out.
How To Strive for a Deeper Passion
When you go through the ups and downs of life, and you stick with each other through sickness and in health, you're bound to have a deeper level of respect, love, and passion for one another. You are each other’s person and soulmate.
But what can you do right now to build a deeper connection so when you're in one of those not-so-good times you’ll have a reserve of passion to call upon?
1. Keep Growing Together
One of the main reasons that cause a couple to break up is that they stop growing. Maybe one person stops growing, or one person grows and the other feels left behind and becomes resentful, or they grow in different directions.
Growing together as a couple is a great way to keep the passion alive. Whether that's growing together in your life goals, your spiritual life, or your hobbies, consistently working at trying to be on the same page and developing and heading in the same direction brings you closer as a couple.
2. Do New Things Together
Building new memories and doing new things together is what keeps the relationship fresh, and it’s essential for keeping the passion alive. Whether that's going on a vacation to someplace new or trying a different activity, doing new things together sparks your curiosity and breathes brand new passion into your life. For more tips on how to cultivate fun, romance, and passion, read our article here.
3. Practice Kindness
We're all human, and we all have flaws and make mistakes. At the end of the day, all we want is to come home to someone who makes us feel safe. So be gentle with each other's imperfections, and always try to forgive each other's mistakes.
Building empathy and learning to read your partner will allow you to develop the mindset that the relationship isn’t always about you, but is about you as a couple. Knowing this makes you feel like a stronger unit and helps you develop deep bonds of trust.
Life is amazing and beautiful, but it can also be messy and harsh. When there are two of you, you'll be more resilient to tackle and overcome life's biggest obstacles. And with this resilience comes true passion.
True passion is less about sparks and firecrackers, and more about a warm flame that lights your way home. So do the work your marriage deserves and hold on to each other for dear life.
Love Evie? Let us know what you love and what else you want to see from us in the official Evie reader survey.