Ignoring the hostile approach of todayʼs feminist movement is hard. It claims to be pro-women but simultaneously excludes or downright condemns the majority of women who see things differently.
Modern feminism fails to be "pro-women" because it brushes off those who donʼt believe that "smashing the patriarchy" or breaking “socially-constructed gender roles" will solve our problems. If you are not a part of this clique, you will likely be dubbed as a prisoner at best, a back-stabber at worst. Some women like myself think that men and women are equally capable of making mistakes, being selfish, oppressive or downright violent.
If you are not a part of this clique, you will likely be dubbed as a prisoner at best, a back-stabber at worst.
I personally bought into the lie that male leadership automatically meant losing my freedom and individuality. There were times where I became defensive for no apparent reason. You can say it was paranoia, but thanks to the narrative that said relations with men meant being walked on like a doormat, I made sure that that would not happen to me – even if it meant being super proactive when there wasnʼt much to react to.
Men Can Be Jerks; Women Can Be Witches
However, character trumps gender: men can be jerks, women can be witches; men can be insensitive, and women can be vain. Neither gender is immune to "missing the mark" — hence neither gender should be targeted as the “central moral oppressor.”
Fathers and husbands are not inherently immoral simply for their roles in protecting and providing. Rather, abuse or neglect within their role is the issue. In the same way, parents are meant to protect, train and provide for their kids. Regarding mothers and children, it's self-evident that motherhood is not inherently immoral, but deliberate abuse and neglect of mothers towards their children would be the issue. Leadership is not oppression; failure to lead lovingly and wisely is the problem.
Leadership is not oppression; failure to lead lovingly and wisely is the problem.
No Room for Virtue
Modern feminism also fails to be pro-women in that virtues such as piety, purity, domesticity, and submissiveness are scorned, snubbed and degraded. This automatically makes a target of those whose religious or traditional convictions esteem these values as important and worth passing down to their children. Historian Barbara Welter referred to these four values as the “Cult of True Womanhood” in 1966.
Virtues such as piety, purity, domesticity, and submissiveness are scorned, snubbed and degraded.
Itʼs plain to see that in the eyes of modern feminism, religious devotion, sexual purity, excellence as a homemaker, and deferring to the men in oneʼs life are revolting and repulsive virtues to have. However, in many womenʼs lives (even those who have tried feminism and have turned away from it), these values are the epitome of life, love, and freedom.
What Makes Us Women
Lastly, modern feminism fails to be pro-women because it believes that gender roles and gender itself are to be erased not embraced; eradicated not defined. Feminism today requires a Ph.D. in mental gymnastics. It's no longer about womenʼs rights – it is all kinds of rights for anyone and anything, whoever and whatever they self-identify as at any time of day, any day of the week.
Feminism today requires a Ph.D. in mental gymnastics.
There is no defining goal and no defining audience – its a free for all for the cause of anything and everything. And why is this? It is because “smashing the patriarchy” also meant rejecting headship, leadership, and hierarchy in general. There is no order, no definition, no structure. “Pizza rolls not gender roles” as one feminist shirt proclaims. However, trying to erase reality, truth, and order creates chaos, confusion, and degeneration. Gender exists and so do the gender roles within them.
If feminism were indeed pro-women, their undeniable rejection and hostility towards "non-feminist women" would cease to exist. But alas, this won't be the case. Why? Because truth is not relative —we donʼt get to define or distort it. Men are not our problem — all of humanity is subject to failures. The future cannot be female; it must be - as it has always been - male and female. Feminism is a tunnel-visioned train-wreck. I am all for human rights, which includes the fundamental rights of women, but feminism today is not the route to accomplish those goals.
The future cannot be female; it must be - as it has always been - male and female.
Ultimately, progressive third-wave feminism fails to be pro-women because it rejects the nature of true womanhood. At its core, it could be described as a form of self-hatred: disdain for feminine beauty, rejection of our biologically and emotionally unique gifts, and resistance to the natural role we are designed and wired to play most effectively in our homes and communities.