How I Went From Porn Star To Pastor’s Wife

You might wonder why I chose to enter that world in the first place. Like many others, my story started with brokenness.

I grew up in a verbally abusive home. I was constantly questioning my identity, my worth, and my purpose. Even as a little girl, I would cry myself to sleep, asking myself why I existed at all. The lack of love and affirmation at home left a deep emptiness inside me that I tried to fill in other ways. I wanted so badly to be seen, heard, and loved, and I looked for that validation everywhere except where it truly comes from.

Later in high school, I dated a guy, gave him my heart, and he cheated on me with three different girls. I was devastated. My friends’ solution was to go to Mexico and “party our cares away.” It was a chance to escape my pain and try to feel alive again. That night, I drank more than I should have. At one point, I stepped outside, saw another club, and decided to check it out. When the bouncers hesitated to let me in, I assured them I just wanted to dance.

The moment I walked inside, I realized this was not an ordinary club; it was a strip club. Before I could process what was happening, they put me in line behind other dancers. That night, with a broken heart and liquid courage, I made a choice I deeply regret. I took my top off for money, and the crowd cheered and told me I was beautiful and loved, words I had rarely, if ever, heard at home. That moment planted a lie in my heart:

“If I take my clothes off, not only will I be paid, I’ll also be validated.”

Fast forward to college. I was studying broadcasting and journalism while dancing part-time. One night, two producers came in and told me I was beautiful and “destined to be a star.” They said they made “romance films,” and even though I knew they were talking about pornography, the promise of fame hooked me. I thought that if enough people knew my name, maybe I would finally love myself, or at least hate myself less. That hope, even if misguided, became my driving force.

Hundreds of thousands of people were praising me on social media daily, but no amount of attention, fame, or affirmation could fill the hole inside my heart.

I entered the industry, gained popularity, won awards, and achieved recognition I had only dreamed of. I was named one of Maxim Magazine’s Top 12 Hottest Stars and appeared several times on the Howard Stern Show. Despite the fame, the recognition, and the attention, I still felt completely empty. Hundreds of thousands of people were praising me on social media daily, but no amount of attention, fame, or affirmation could fill the hole inside my heart. I’ve learned firsthand that there’s a void in every human heart that only Jesus can fill.

After about three and a half years, I was ready to leave. I was also struggling with substance abuse, and I called my grandma in desperation. She came and moved me into her home. One day, I went to church with my grandpa and his wife, and that day, I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior. They gave me a Bible, and I devoured it. I felt hope for the first time in my life. But the enemy was not happy about my decision, and I was pulled back into the industry again, this time under the control of a pimp who exploited me. For another three and a half years, I was trapped.

One day, I felt the Holy Spirit urging me to leave him. I walked away with the help of my mother and headed to film what would become my final adult scene. On the airplane, I opened my Bible to Revelation 2:20–22, which says:

“But I have this complaint against you. You are permitting that woman — that Jezebel who calls herself a prophet — to lead my servants astray. She teaches them to commit sexual sin and to eat food offered to idols. I gave her time to repent, but she does not want to turn away from her immorality. Therefore, I will throw her on a bed of suffering, and those who commit adultery with her will suffer greatly unless they repent and turn away from her evil deeds.”

As I read, I began to cry. I prayed in my heart, “God, I’m so sorry. I had no idea this is what I’ve been doing. Not only do I hate my life, but I’m breaking Your heart and influencing others to sin.”

But instead of shame, I felt God’s grace. I felt His presence wrap around me, and the Holy Spirit whispered:

“Brittni, this is not the life I have for you. The life I have for you overflows with love, peace, and joy. If you quit this industry today, I will bless your life in ways no man ever could.”

So I quit that day. Immediately. It was terrifying but also exhilarating. I felt freedom I had never known. I went back to church, and I took a couple of years off dating because men had always been a weakness for me. I sought God every single day through prayer, worship, and studying His Word. Slowly but surely, God healed my heart. He restored my identity and my sense of worth. He transformed me from the inside out.

No matter how far you’ve wandered, no matter how broken you feel, He can take your life and make something beautiful out of it.

I eventually married an incredible man of God. He was serving as the young adults pastor at our church, and together we now lead LoveAlwaysMinistries.com, helping people find freedom from pornography and equipping the church to walk in purity. I also lead JesusLovesPornStars.org, where we go into adult conventions to share God’s love with those who need it most. During these outreaches, we pray for people, hand out thousands of Bibles, and have meaningful conversations about Jesus. We get to show them a different way of life, one filled with love, hope, and purpose.

Through my story, I want people to know that God specializes in turnarounds. No matter how far you’ve wandered, no matter how broken you feel, He can take your life and make something beautiful out of it. I am living proof that surrendering your whole heart to Him is worth it. My prayer is that my story encourages you to go all in for Jesus, to trust Him fully, and to believe that He can transform your life in ways you never imagined.

Today, my life is overflowing with peace, love, and joy. I am blessed beyond measure to serve alongside my husband, to minister to people in need, and to see lives changed by the power of Jesus. I hope my story inspires you to surrender fully and let God work in your life, because He is faithful and His love never fails.