How Big Tech Preys On Male Vulnerability

In the digital age, our smartphones are extensions of ourselves—portals to a world of instant gratification, always buzzing away in our pockets and handbags. For years, we’ve sounded alarms about how social media and big tech ravage the mental health of girls and women, linking platforms to rising rates of anxiety, depression, and even suicide. I’ve contributed to that conversation in my early days of advocating for gender-focused issues, having written a book for girls highlighting the corrosive effects of social media on young women.

But while we’ve been laser-focused on one half of the population, we’ve overlooked a quieter, equally devastating crisis: the toll big tech is taking on our boys and men. It’s a crisis that grows in silence, hidden behind closed doors and locked phones, where young men grapple with addiction, exploitation, and despair—alone.

Even Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, whose focus has been on girls and young women, recently admitted he may have underestimated the impact of big tech on boys and men, suggesting it could be an even graver issue than for girls. He’s not wrong. The digital world has weaponized male vulnerabilities, exploiting them with precision. From the dopamine rush of online sports betting to the endless scroll of porn and OnlyFans; the lure of “get rich quick” schemes to manipulative scammers, big tech has built a machine that preys on the impulses of young men. And the numbers are staggering: Thirty percent of American men now have a sports betting account, including nearly half of men ages 18 to 49, and research suggests a jaw-dropping 98% of online sports betters with a gambling problem are men.

This isn’t just a trend; it’s a public health emergency, and it’s unfolding in the shadows.

Let’s start with sports betting, which has exploded since the 2018 Supreme Court decision to legalize it. Nearly $520 billion has been wagered on sports in the U.S., with apps like FanDuel and DraftKings leading the way. These platforms aren’t just convenient; they’re engineered to be addictive. AI-driven algorithms deliver micro-bets—wagers on the next pitch, the next play—tapping into the “fear of missing out” that drives impulsiveness.

Gambling addiction is now classified alongside heroin dependency, with studies showing a 19% suicide attempt rate among problem gamblers—the highest of any addiction.

A 2025 study from UC San Diego revealed a 61% surge in searches for gambling addiction help after online sportsbooks launched in Pennsylvania, with men aged 25-34 flooding the helplines. In the year after Virginia legalized sports gambling, helpline calls climbed 387%; in Illinois, calls rose 425% between 2020 and 2022.

Addiction experts are calling for more attention, noting that young men are even betting in the shower, their lives falling apart one click at a time. The average bettor isn’t a high-roller; he’s a young man whose weekly paycheck vanishes into betting apps, leaving him broke and ashamed of himself.

Then there’s pornography, which has been just a click away for awhile now but has grown more insidious with platforms like OnlyFans. Unlike traditional porn, OnlyFans offers a facade of intimacy—real people behind paywalls, creating relationships that blur the line between fantasy and reality.

A 2023 UK study reported a 66% increase in people seeking help for OnlyFans addiction, with men reporting higher rates of problematic use. And the platform knows how to keep users hooked. Excessive consumption desensitizes viewers, pushing them toward more extreme content to chase the same high. The result? Broken relationships, warped expectations, and a generation of men struggling with sexual dysfunction.

Scammers and “get rich quick” schemes add another layer of predation. Big tech’s algorithms amplify fraudulent ads promising instant wealth—crypto scams, investment frauds, fake mentors peddling success. These schemes exploit the same psychological triggers as gambling and porn: the promise of a quick fix, the allure of status and possessions, the fear of being left behind. 

What makes this crisis so insidious is its invisibility. Boys and men suffer in silence, their struggles confined to the privacy of their screens. Unlike girls, who often externalize their pain through social media or visible distress, boys are more likely to bottle it up. Their phones, always in their pockets, become both the source of their misery and the shield hiding it. Corporations are cashing in on male vulnerability, and no one is talking about it.

A 2023 study reported a 66% increase in people seeking help for OnlyFans addiction, with men reporting higher rates of problematic use.

The consequences are dire. Gambling addiction is now classified alongside heroin dependency, with studies showing a 19% suicide attempt rate among problem gamblers—the highest of any addiction. Porn addiction correlates with anxiety, depression, and social isolation. Financial ruin from scams and betting compounds the mental health toll, with young men in their 20s and 30s filing for bankruptcy or losing homes. Yet, there’s no federal funding for gambling research, and porn addiction treatment remains understudied. Society’s response? A 1-800-number for gambling helplines, as if a hotline can win in a battle against AI-driven addiction machines.

So, what do we do? First, we need to acknowledge the scale of the problem. This isn’t about “boys being boys” or “men making bad choices.” It’s about a system designed to exploit. Policymakers must act: they could limit gambling ads, address micro-betting, and regulate platforms’ addictive designs. Education is also crucial—schools must teach digital literacy, exposing the manipulative tactics of big tech. Parents and communities need to encourage open conversations about these silent struggles, breaking the stigma that keeps boys and men suffering alone.

Big tech has turned our boys and men into a lucrative market, preying on their impulses while society looks the other way. We’ve spent years warning about the internet’s dangers for girls, yet platforms are bleeding our boys dry—financially, emotionally, and spiritually. It’s time to shine a light on this crisis, to pull back the curtain on the apps and algorithms profiting off of our boys’ and men’s despair.

Our partners, sons, brothers, fathers and friends deserve better than to be pawns in big tech’s game. Their phones may be in their pockets, but their pain doesn’t have to stay hidden. Let’s talk about it before the silence claims more lives.