Hollywood, Stop Trying To Make Amy Schumer Happen—Here Are 4 Reasons Why She's Never Going To Happen
Variety Magazine recently put Amy Schumer on the cover of their "Power of Women" Issue, and everyone hates it—even leftists.
Since Schumer's rise to stardom back in 2013 with her comedy show, Inside Amy Schumer, most people have either been grossed out or underwhelmed by her "comedy." Probably because her jokes are about raunchy sex and poor hygiene, and most normal people don't find that funny.
However, many leftist types, particularly those in media and entertainment circles, have pushed Schumer on the rest of us for years and tried to convince us she's relatable and fun and just a poor, brave little feminist doing comedy in a man's world.
In fact, Schumer is so "feminist" that she couldn't allow herself to be involved in Greta Gerwig's Barbie project last year. I'm not kidding. Sony was really going to give us Amy Schumer as a girl boss barbie until God mercifully intervened.
Still, many liberals have let her cringe slide over the years, but now that's over.
What Changed?
Why exactly do leftists hate Amy Schumer all of a sudden? Is it because they finally realized she's not funny after years of insisting that juvenile vagina jokes are edgy and empowering?
Her Jokes are Still Terrible
No, that's not it. As far as I can tell, cringy comedy is fine as long as it's "feminist." But her terrible jokes ARE a reason why she should've never been considered a comedic genius in the first place.
There's also pretty damning evidence that she stole from other comedians, which is especially messed up considering all the special recognition she's received for being a "groundbreaking" female comic.
Honestly, though, her "Leather Special" in 2017 by itself is pretty much unforgivable. For those lucky enough to have forgotten about it, Schumer literally walked around a stage while sweating in leather and talking about her vagina for hours, and this sold to us as "brave" female comedy.
She was also allegedly on Team Amber during the absolutely crazy Amber Herd vs. Johnny Depp drama, which points to either deeply questionable judgment or feminism-fueled delulu.
She's Still a Nepo Baby
If it's not her terrible jokes, then maybe the libs hate her because they figured out that her success is very likely the result of connections she made through her slimy, lifelong politician cousin, Chuck Schumer.
This would be a legit reason to be annoyed by her, along with her limousine liberal politics, but nope, that's not it, either. Nepotism is alive and well and generally not frowned upon as long it doesn't benefit outspoken conservatives.
She's Always a Victim
Maybe it just now dawned on the libs how extremely unlikable Amy Schumer is, whether it's her victim-y approach to criticism or her smug unfunniness. You need only observe her for a few minutes, whether it's one of her stand-up shows or that painful commercial she did Seth Rogen, to know that she's insufferable. There was also that time she slammed other actresses for using Ozempic after she used it herself. Like, girl, why are you like this?
But, no, that's not the reason, either.
She's Not "Radical" Enough
The reason liberals now hate Amy Schumer is because she's been critical of Palestine and supportive of Israel in a series of wishy-washy political statements. Thus, in a bizarre twist of fate, the "progressive" audience she's spent her entire career pandering to has turned on her for a politically incorrect opinion.
And with that, we can now finally conclude that no one, literally no one, not even the rabid feminists, like Amy Schumer.
That's why we're politely asking Hollywood to please stop trying to make her particular brand of not-funny-nepo-baby-liberal feminism happen. For once, Americans are united on something, and we've decided it's not going to happen.
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