Women complain all the time that they don’t meet any decent men when they go out. This is fair, but it’s not as impossible as it may seem.
Women will say that men either don’t approach them or the ones who do are creepy, jerks, or not their type, which could very much be true. The other concern is that the guys they meet don’t show any potential for an actual relationship. However, just as many respectable guys go out as girls. The trick is to send clear signals and understand the signals you’re getting back.
The trick is to send clear signals and understand the signals you’re getting back.
The next time you’re out with your girlfriends, think about the way you present yourself to men - individually and as a group. Do you seem standoffish? What’s the temperament of the other girls? Does everyone seem to be having a good time, or does the team feel a bit cold? If you’re hoping to meet a decent guy out, consider these tips.
If your group of girls is pretentious, frosty, and act like they’re too good for every single person in the bar…ditch ‘em. Seriously… guys might notice you, but they won’t approach you.
Smile! Not like a fake, over-exaggerated smile that feels uncomfortable, but a natural smile…like you’re happy. What’s the point of going out if you’re not having fun? If you’re not in the right frame of mind, it’s better to just skip the night out altogether. If you’re enjoying yourself, it will show. The key is to show a little warmth; happy people are charming.
Dress in a way that feels comfortable to you. So often women try and dress according to how their girlfriends are dressing, but if you feel uncomfortable in what you’re wearing you won’t be able to relax. You might think people can’t tell, but your body language says more than you realize.
Don’t accept a drink from a guy whom you have zero interest in talking to. This is the worst, but girls do it all the time and it’s so disrespectful. If a guy has mustered the courage to ask to buy you a drink, have the decency to politely say "no thank you" if you don’t even want to give him 10 minutes of your time. Plus, it’s just awkward afterward.
Say “thank you” if a guy does buy you a drink. This seems like common sense, but so many girls are rude. He didn’t have to buy you a drink, so show a little gratitude. But "thank you" is enough. The jerk who thinks buying you drinks buys him an evening in your bed is just as cheap as the cocktails you're sharing. A sincere thank you, your time, and maybe your number is plenty.
Mind your drinking; the most obvious tip, but it still needs to be mentioned. There’s nothing hot about being trashed, literally nothing. Plus you'll feel horrible the next day.
If there’s good music, dance…tastefully. There’s something attractive about a girl who doesn’t take herself too seriously.
This might sound taboo, but you can talk to guys too. The chances that he won’t speak back are extremely rare. If he isn’t interested, you’ll know right away versus making what you think is “cute” eye contact all night long and wondering why he didn't get the hint.
If you’re in a busy bar, and a guy is making obvious eye contact, there is so much you can say with your eyes; it’s like the superpower of women. Be bold enough to intentionally make eye contact back so that he knows if he makes the effort to trek across the crowd in your direction, it will be worth his time.
Go home alone. Hopefully, you meet a guy you’d like to go on a date with. But for that to happen, you need to call it a night. Women tend to blame guys for ghosting or treating us as options. But, honestly, take some of the responsibility. Don’t be easy; you could be the perfect woman, but if you pretend like you’re ok with being treated casually, he will treat you casually. If he asked for your number and he’s a decent guy who’s truly interested, you will hear from him again.
At the end of the night, beware of the guy who asks for your Instagram handle. Say, no. Stop perpetuating the need to stalk people on social media. It's creepy and you don't need a Joe Goldberg in your life. Don’t give that guy your number either.