Feminism's New Glass Ceiling

Welcome to my first column. After years inside Hollywood, I learned to always ask questions. With A-listers. When the stakes are high. When it made important people feel uncomfortable (namely publicists who'd threaten my future firstborn by giving just a glare). But I don't care. Ask the tough questions. Get to the truth. That's what I plan to do here. Starting with this: Where are the women? Assuming they're not getting clotheslined (verbally or physically) for having the wrong opinion, or losing an arm wrestle that a biological male challenged them to—where are they? The women who fought tirelessly to be treated with dignity and respect, both at work and at home? Who fought a pay disparity, an expectation, a judgment? Who, in big and small ways, fought to merely exist? The unfolding events around WNBA star Sophie Cunningham , and the reaction (or lack thereof), have me wondering if the majority of U.S. women were mysteriously put into witness protection. She's been booed, roasted, and attacked for saying something that shouldn't even need clarifying. Something so common-sense, a kindergartner would get it. Yet the Telegraph toddlers label her "basketball's new anti-trans MAGA poster girl." She said she believes young girls shouldn't have to compete against biological males. "I never once said that [I dislike trans]," Cunningham told ESPN. "I think that I am here to extend love. But I also think that with that love is truth, being honest." Love and truth. Apparently, even that's on the wrong side of history now. It got so ugly that grown adults, including Seattle Storm minority co-owner Celeste Keaton , berated teenagers supporting Sophie at a game. People with 401(k)s picking fights with girls who barely have their driver's licenses. Brilliant. Then, over the weekend, Chicago guard DiJonai Carrington was assessed a Flagrant 2 and ejected after hitting Cunningham across the face and neck, leaving her bloodied. Carrington subsequently posted "WHITE PRIVILEGE" from the locker room. Carrington has since said the foul was never intentional and that she never linked her ejection to white privilege . Welcome to the circus. Take a step out of the Ringling Bros. tent. Ideologies aside, politics out of it. Look at Sophie Cunningham herself: bold, successful, powerful, smart, convicted, beautiful, confident, unapologetic, and passionate with purpose in an otherwise male-oriented sphere. Everything modern women have theoretically fought for and should aspire to be. In short: the epitome of authentic female power. Why is conservative media the only place willing to celebrate her? Where are the mainstream sports outlets? The women's publications? The feminists? Given that Sophie Cunningham is, in theory, everything they're about? Why is conservative media the only place willing to celebrate her? I know, because I've been watching this movie for years. I was an entertainment reporter at VH1 when Caitlyn Jenner came out as transgender in 2015. I reported extensively on the iconic Vanity Fair cover reveal. I interviewed celebrities about it, including Judith Light, star of the also groundbreaking show about a trans woman, Transparent —at the Tonys. You can't make it up. I watched the cultural machinery celebrate Caitlyn as a triumph. Courageous. Brave. Historic. Years later, I interviewed Caitlyn myself. All 6-foot-2 of Caitlyn towered over all 5-foot-2 of me. Suffice it to say, given that my eye level was at Caitlyn's breasts, Caitlyn would kick my ass at anything competitive short of Monopoly. Then I considered a lobotomy when I watched that very cultural ecosystem—the one that had elevated Caitlyn, one of the most famous athletes and celebrities in the world, as a shining symbol of progress—call Caitlyn a hateful bigot when Caitlyn reasonably spoke about protecting women's sports. (Again, an area Caitlyn would know nothing of…) The machine doesn't just allow disagreement anymore. It decides whether once-heroes are still worthy of being celebrated. And once someone steps outside the approved script, seemingly decided by a schizophrenic mind hive, the very ones who built them are the ones destroying them from within. And it never stops. I'll never forget interviewing 12-time NCAA All-American swimmer Riley Gaines , who, like Cunningham, represents true feminism at its core. She told me her story explicitly—from her life's work, sacrifice, and training, to the unfortunate and awkward experiences inside the locker room, in competition, and being slighted at a trophy ceremony with a biological male competitor. It was visceral. After all that, women were stomped out again. By the ones who have bumper stickers that say "smash the patriarchy." On the flip side was Chrissy Teigen. I watched her become the internet's beloved, funny, glamorous, politically outspoken Chosen One. When she was exposed for ruthlessly cyberbullying women and telling them the worst thing you can, to off themselves, female outlets—including ones I'd worked for and ultimately put on blast—swept it under the rug in the name of platforming their Twitter Queen. The inconvenience du jour is more disorienting than a fun house. What's more is the cannibalization. I believe trans people deserve dignity, safety, and equal opportunity. But that cannot mean pretending realities don't exist. Or that I could beat Caitlyn Jenner in wrestling. And feminism cannot mean women fought for equality only to be told they "got what they asked for" when they object to competing against people who biologically have Adam's apples and up to 61% greater upper-body muscle mass . It's BS and I don't buy it. My grandmother couldn't even tell her boss she was pregnant, because she would have been fired. Women were paid less, passed over for jobs, confined, and treated as liabilities simply for having ovaries. Those true feminists mattered. Those fights mattered. So maybe the question isn't just: where are the women? Maybe it's: what happens when the cause eats itself? There is always another target. Because if every movement keeps deciding which people are acceptable, which women are "behaved women" (the irony), which opinions are permissible and which legends are suddenly disposable, there is always another target. Then another. And another after that. We better get our bearings back. The goal was supposed to be treating people with dignity. Not applauding the undignified because they fit, nor treating people with dignity until they become inconvenient. Because eventually, every movement, every group, every individual, has to answer one question: What happens when it's your turn?