Can We Stop With All The Man Bashing? It’s Hurting All Of Us

What’s with all the man-hating recently? Seriously? Every time you turn on the news there’s a story on why men are bad. Let’s remind ourselves of some of the negative press and attacks on social media they receive on a daily basis. You have:

• Toxic Masculinity

• Taylor Swift’s song “The Man” 

• Anti-Manspreading

• Hundreds upon hundreds of articles showcasing men as murderers or predators

• Feminists attach #BanMen and #KillAllMen to their tweets to display their misandry

Sure some men are bad, but let’s be honest, many men are good. And you know what else? There are women who are just as bad. An unpopular statement perhaps, but it’s true. People of either sex can be equally annoying and toxic. 

It’s Not a Realistic Representation 

There are toxic men out there, but there are great men too! It’s not an all or nothing categorization, and no one should treat it like it is. 

For example, think about the men in our lives, how many of them are actually toxic? Let’s think of our husbands, sons, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, mentors, our male friends, and colleagues - are they all bad? Uhm, no.

There are toxic men out there, but there are great men too! It’s not an all or nothing categorization, and no one should treat it like it is.

 50% of the population is men so they can’t all be evil. Personally, I’ve had nothing but positive experiences with men.

My husband is the best and always has my best interests at heart. My father and father-in-law are amazing, my favorite teacher in high school was a man, I’ve had male mentors, and even the man who works in my local convenient store is cool too. 

 The Negative Consequences of Man Bashing

I’m sorry, but all this man-hating propaganda is unfair, it’s lazy journalism, and it’s hurting men’s well-being.

Imagine being a man, turning on the TV or scrolling through your phone, and seeing all the negative coverage about your own gender every day. What do you think that does to a man’s psyche and confidence?

British psychologist Dr. Graham Davey, who specializes in the psychological effects of media violence, suggests that negative news can affect your own personal worries. Viewing negative news means that you’re more likely to see your personal worries as more threatening and severe, and when you do start worrying about them, you’re more likely to find your worry difficult to control and more distressing than it would normally be.

Viewing negative news means that you’re more likely to see your personal worries as more threatening and severe.

Being exposed to negativity can lead to pessimism and world-weariness, which leads us to perceive the state of the world in an overly negative light - leading us to ignore and overshadow the many things that are working.

It can have serious and long-lasting psychological effects, and it can exacerbate or contribute to the development of stress, anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

 Are the Tables Turning?

Boys are falling behind in elementary school and secondary school, and are being outnumbered on college campuses.

Christina Hoff Sommer, author of The War On Boys: How Misguided Policies Are Harming Our Young Men, says, “schools have spent so much time making sure girls feel comfortable they have lost sight of and are indifferent to what it is boys need. Our schools have become more feelings-centered, risk-averse, competition-free, and sedentary; they have moved further and further from the characteristic sensibilities of boys. Yes, we must have moral education in schools and anti-bullying campaigns, but this does not mean we need programs to feminize our boys.”

Schools have spent so much time making sure girls feel comfortable they have lost sight of and are indifferent to what it is boys need.

Michael Gurian, author of The Minds of Boys: Saving Our Sons From School and In Life, presents statistics that show:

• Boys get the majority of D’s and F’s in most schools

•  Create 90% of discipline problems

• Are four times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with ADHD and be medicated

•  Account for three out of four children diagnosed with learning disabilities

• Make up 80% of high school dropouts

• Make up less than 45% of the college population

On the flipside, according to the U.S. Department of Education, women achieve:

• 62% of Associate degrees

• 57% of Bachelor’s degrees

• 60% of Master’s degrees

•  52% of Doctorates

Women also outnumber men in the U.S. workforce with women making up 50.04% of the jobs, signaling that women are edging ahead in today’s tight labor market. It’s amazing that women are doing well in education and in the workforce, but we want men to succeed too. At the end of the day, successful women want to find and marry successful men, so both sexes should be equally encouraged to pursue education and careers. 

Closing Thoughts

Is all this gender sneering towards men justified? It’s undeniable that there are disrespectful, violent, and immoral men out there, but those men don’t represent every single man in the world, and we shouldn’t act like they do. 

Men are naturally more aggressive and competitive, and more comfortable taking risks than women, but these tendencies can serve them well. For example, men are protectors who give their lives away fighting in the military, and they make up 82% of active-duty officers. They are also responsible for taking on the majority of the deadliest occupations, and men are 12x more likely to die than women in the workplace.

We need our men. They are our greatest allies, and we appreciate them for the protectors and supporters they are. Our lives would not be the same without them. So, can all the man-hating please just stop, and can we start treating both sexes with equal dignity?