Blake v. Baldoni Is More Than Gossip—It’s A Mirror To American Values

Meanwhile, the rest of the country is consuming it voraciously. Our collective obsession with the details of the conflict between Lively and Baldoni reflects a few interesting traits about American culture. Let's dive into what those are.

Feminist armor doesn’t shield a man from negative public opinion.

Baldoni, who donned a light pink suit at the It Ends with Us premiere in New York City in August 2024, long has made an effort to accentuate the softer side of his personality. In 2018, he wrote about the importance of being a role model for his children and avoiding the pitfalls of gender stereotypes. A few years later, Baldoni launched and cohosted The Man Enough Podcast, where he explored aspects of gender roles and politics with special guests. In 2022, he published a book titled Man Enough: Undefining My Masculinity.

During the course of Baldoni’s feminist exploration, in 2019, he and his Wayfarer Studios obtained the rights to adapt Colleen Hoover’s book, It Ends with Us, into a movie. The story is notably about domestic violence, and therefore a project that bolstered Baldoni’s brand, likely adding even more value to his stock as a feminist.  

No matter who a man is, what his image reflects, or whether or not he is actually guilty, the mere accusation of sexual misconduct is enough to tarnish his reputation, perhaps for a lifetime.

And yet, that salient feminist manbun brand did nothing to shield Baldoni from the public’s contempt following Lively’s initial accusations, made public in December 2024, of sexual harassment and his alleged smear campaign. At first, despite the questionable allegations, few people defended Baldoni or even gave him the benefit of the doubt. In fact, earlier that month, Vital Voices had issued a Voices of Solidarity Award to Baldoni for being “an ally to women,” which they hastily rescinded following Lively’s claims.

The Baldoni v. Lively Feud clearly shows us that no matter who a man is, what his image reflects, or whether or not he is actually guilty, the mere accusation of sexual misconduct is enough to tarnish his reputation, perhaps for a lifetime. Just ask the Duke lacrosse players, whose accuser has since admitted to making up the allegations, but not before the public widely deemed them guilty. The reputations of the accused men are damaged irreparably long before an actual trial begins.

Americans believe that meanness is among the worst sins.

As the story continues to unfold, Baldoni has launched a website to support claims of innocence, and is suing Lively and her husband, actor Ryan Reynolds, for $400 million. In the court of public opinion, America’s remarkably attractive golden couple, Lively and Reynolds, are being cast in a cruel light. And while we tend to culturally tolerate selfishness and immorality, meanness seems to be where we draw the line.

Ellen DeGeneres is case and point. Despite being cherished as a talented talk show host, actress, and comedian for decades, her career seems to have expired beyond resuscitation following accusations of her unkindness. Allegations, in fairness, that are made much worse by her incessant reminders to her audience to “be kind.” 

Still, it’s unclear why DeGeneres’ pranks or occasional callousness on set would warrant a permanent expulsion to the island of the unwanted entertainers. And yet, when she shared her perspective in the Netflix special titled “For Your Approval,” she was met with harsh judgment from the gossip columnists. During the stand-up routine, she made light of the small moments to which we can all relate, such as the challenges and embarrassment associated with parallel parking. DeGeneres also was comically introspective. Critics didn’t see it that way, and instead argued that she failed to offer the contrition they felt they were owed.

While we tend to culturally tolerate selfishness and immorality, meanness seems to be where we draw the line.

And while perceived meanness and hypocrisy continue to plague DeGeneres’ situation, no one seemed to think of Lively as the poster girl for kindness before the Baldoni scandal. Now, though, she seems to be morphing into America’s Mean Girl. Multiple incidents, where she was not her best self, have surfaced in the most unfavorable ways. A reporter, for example, claimed that she wanted to quit her job after an interview with Lively, who appeared particularly sadistic during the segment. An assistant director of A Simple Favor, starring Lively, further posted comments that appear to accuse the actress of being cruel on the set.

Swifties and Game of Thrones fans alike further were critical when Lively compared herself to the character, Khaleesi, and alluded that Taylor Swift was one of her dragons in a text message to Baldoni. She allegedly wrote, “[L]ike [Khaleesi], I happen to have a few dragons. For better or worse, but usually for better. Because my dragons also protect those I fight for. So really we all benefit from those gorgeous monsters of mine…”

Like most people tangentially roped into a scandal, Swift and her boyfriend, Travis Kelce, seem to be trying their best to avoid the controversy’s spotlight. Unfortunately for them, even that becomes a headline. For example, last month, Kelce unfollowed Reynolds on Instagram to further distance himself from the legal drama. Not a very consequential story, but dozens of reporters, who notably requested comments from Kelce’s and Swift’s publicists, detailed the click of Kelce’s mouse.

And while nothing says “best friend” like referring to Swift, the godmother of her children, as a monster that Lively uses, Americans are arguably even more upset with Reynolds for not being the nice, funny guy appearing in rom-coms. He has, for example, created a character in Deadpool & Wolverine, called Nicepool, that is widely believed to have the sole function of mocking Baldoni. Not only do Americans find that unkind, but also question whether or not these are the serious actions of a man whose wife actually has been sexually harassed by Baldoni.

Lively and Reynolds are both losing the public relations struggle for congeniality. And, as my friend from Eastern Europe says, there is little if anything Americans value more than perceived niceness.

We revel in watching the mighty fall.

While we try our best to seem nice, our unbridled satisfaction in watching successful people flounder and fail is quite the opposite. On the one hand, we pride ourselves in being home to the most talented, wealthiest, and innovative people in the world, and then subsequently take solace in tearing them to shreds when they have a misstep, an imperfection, or are embedded in conflict. The 24-hour news cycle has enabled us to make the lives and misery of America’s elites our obsessive distraction from our own realities.

While we try our best to seem nice, our unbridled satisfaction in watching successful people flounder and fail is quite the opposite.

The Lively v. Baldoni scandal appears to be a salacious sequel to the Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard story. Neither feud has put anyone in a positive light. The wealthy and powerful are certainly not without problems, which is perhaps what’s comforting to us as we watch their lives crumble.

And like the Depp v. Heard case, both Baldoni and Lively are losing in the court of public opinion as we as a society, sadly, are entertained by their demise. No matter the finding of the court in the end, all parties but the lawyers collecting the money lose. But as the curtain falls, the audience will be there cheering.