Choosing the wrong man will not only ruin your life, but it will also ruin everything around you: your self-esteem, your children’s lives, your career, and your finances.
We’ve all seen people go through messy breakups and divorces, or perhaps you’re going through one yourself. Whether it was a summer romance, a short fling, a one night stand, or a 7-year marriage, women are hit hard when they choose the wrong man. So it’s time to get honest with ourselves and get real about the damage it can cause.
The Costs of a Bad Relationship
How you manage your personal life will have a huge impact on all other areas of your life. If your relationship is toxic and full of drama, then it will impact your state of mind and wellbeing. Over time it will erode your self-esteem, you will lose productivity, and you won’t get anything done which can cause you to go broke. This in turn will cause you to question your sense of worth; it will change how you view yourself and how others view you too.
What’s even worse is some women try to raise children in this kind of environment. Just look at the rise of single motherhood. According to the 2019 U.S. Census Bureau, there are over 11 million single-parent families, and 80.7% of those are headed by single mothers, with nearly a third of those families living in poverty. This means 15.7 million children are being raised in broken homes and without a father.
The average divorce costs around $15,000 per person.
Breakups are messy and women can spend years trying to recover from heartbreak. We see it all the time — women close up and bury themselves with work, or they run away and travel the world to try and speed up the emotional healing process.
Divorces are even more painful and expensive. According to a survey by Bankrate, the average divorce costs around $15,000 per person. However, it can be much higher, depending on the length of time it takes for the divorce to finalize, the people you go through, and whether you and your spouse settle in or out of court.
Celebrities Get It Wrong Too
We also see this play out with celebrity couples.
Remember the Chris Brown and Rhianna incident? They were both abusive towards each other throughout their relationship, but that one night where he assaulted Rhianna on the way to the Grammys destroyed Chris’s public image and career for good.
Another example is Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s relationship. When trouble in their marriage first came out, Amber claimed she was a victim of domestic abuse, which was supported by the #MeToo movement. But after an audio recording was leaked, it turned out that Amber was the abusive one and Johnny was the victim. Both Amber and Johnny’s reputations have been tainted, both have lost out on huge movie deals, and they’re now dealing with an extremely ugly, expensive, and very personal lawsuit.
To avoid getting into a relationship with the wrong man you have to know who you are and what you stand for.
Finally, Adele and Simon Konecki’s explosive relationship. They started dating in January 2012, and six months into their relationship she found out she was pregnant with their child. They finally married in December 2016, only to file for divorce in 2019. It has been wildly reported that they didn’t sign a prenup, and Adele and her ex-husband of three years are now battling $171M in a nasty divorce settlement.
Being with the wrong person can ruin your life, and these celebrity relationships are prime examples of why some people should never have gotten together in the first instance.
How To Avoid The Wrong Man
To avoid getting into a relationship with the wrong man you have to know who you are and what you stand for. You have to know what you want out of a relationship and what your deal breakers are.
Here are some good questions to ask before committing to any man:
1. Do you share similar worldviews?
Whether it’s religion, morals, or political leanings, if your worldviews clash, then you’ll most likely clash in other areas. This can cause major problems down the line and make your relationship much more difficult than it has to be.
2. Do you share a similar vision?
Do you have similar aspirations and goals? Do you both want marriage? Do you want kids? Do you want to live in the same country? Do you have similar financial ambitions? Many women can date men for years without ever asking these kinds of questions only to find out that he doesn’t want the same things in life. What a waste of time and energy!
If your worldviews clash, then you’ll most likely clash in other areas.
3. What are his past and present relationships like?
Don’t be afraid to dig around and ask hard questions about his relationships. Did his past relationship end well, is he bitter, and if so, why? Is he the type to seek revenge? Does he have a solid group of friends and family or is he always falling out with people? You want to know who this man is at his core and what drives him to do certain things.
If the man you’re dating scores low in all these areas, then he probably isn’t a good match and you should consider dating someone more aligned with your beliefs and values.
Being with the wrong man will ruin your life, so, whomever you choose to settle down with, be sure to choose wisely as it will affect everything. Learn how to make wiser decisions and only date men who meet your standards, requirements, and morals, and is someone who adds value to your life.