Ask Evie: I Found Out My Boyfriend Has Been Hiding His Depression From Me. How Do I Help Him When He Doesn’t Seem To Want It?

READER’S QUESTION: "My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years. I've known for quite some time that he's the man I want to spend my life with. However, when he lost his wallet at a sports bar recently, he started to become very distant. I know replacing cards and ID can be stressful, but I had a feeling something else was going on. Something involving me. When I finally asked him, he said his distance had nothing to do with me and everything to do with his current mental health. Apparently, a few things have been weighing on his mind for a while (finances, self-esteem issues, etc), and loosing his wallet was a nail in the coffin that led him into a depression about these things. I knew he had a history of depression and anxiety before, but then he tells me he's had waves of this depression that I (or anyone for that matter) never knew about because he hid it so well. He tells me there's nothing I can do, and he just has to get through it. I'm not upset that he's feeling this way – I'm upset that he felt this way and chose to hide it from me. And I get it, he was hiding it from everyone, but we're supposed to be planning a life together. How do you help someone who doesn't want help?"