Ask Evie: How Can I Channel My Feminine Energy When I’m Bigger Than The Average Guy I Meet?

READER’S QUESTION: "How do you feel feminine when you’re overweight and/or taller than the average woman? Most guys I meet are skinnier and shorter than I am, and I find it hard to channel feminine energy."

EVIE’S ADVICE: Feminine energy has nothing to do with height, fortunately! Whether you're barely 5 feet tall or 6 feet without heels on, you can still wear feminine clothes that flatter you, still do your hair and makeup, still live out the feminine virtues like sensitivity, thoughtfulness, graciousness, generosity, receptivity, maternity, hospitality, etc. You can embrace the accouterments of femininity like pretty clothes and lipstick no matter your size, and you can express feminine energy through your character and how you treat others with equal disregard to your measurements. 

Yes, it’s true that men are visual and quick to notice a woman’s physical features. But part of men being visual is also noticing if and how women take care of themselves and present themselves to the world. A woman who makes the effort to look put together who is a size 12 is going to get more approval than a woman who looks like a slob, even if she's a size 6. If you need some inspiration to get you motivated to dress more feminine, head to Pinterest and seek out beautiful women with your body type to see how they dress and gather ideas. 

Height isn’t something you or your potential mate can control, and it truly has nothing to do with how compatible you are.

That being said, if you think you would feel more confident and feminine in your body if you lost excess weight, then that would be a worthwhile goal too! Check out the free feminine fitness platform 28, or join a feminine activity like tennis, where you can wear cute tennis skirts, or ballet, where you can dress like a ballerina while improving your health. While comparing yourself against the “average woman” is neither healthy nor helpful, improving your health by losing excess weight may make you feel more confident in your own skin. 

As far as the man goes, if you find that you prefer a man who is taller than you, either set your preferences on dating apps with that height requirement, or let go of the idea that by him being shorter than you it somehow makes you less feminine or him less masculine. Height isn’t something you or your potential mate can control, and it truly has nothing to do with how compatible you are in marriage or in life. If you click with a guy, let yourself follow that feeling rather than allowing your insecurities to take over. 

At the end of the day, when you’re in your feminine energy, everyone around you notices, regardless of your height or weight. Femininity is about so much more than looks – if you’re happy, healthy, and making the most of the little moments in your life, you will naturally attract a man who will be a good match for you.  

Have a question you want our advice on? Email it to us at ask@eviemagazine.com.