9 Thought-Provoking Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend To Discover How He Sees The World

Intellectual compatibility is an extremely important though often overlooked aspect of any relationship. It means that you both have strong fundamental beliefs, values, and morals.

By Madison May3 min read
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You both passionately stand by your ideals, but are simultaneously seeking to fine-tune them and widen your view of the world. Intellectual compatibility is a bond that goes beyond superficial attraction, one that will stand the test of distance and time. 

Intellectually compatible people don’t necessarily have the same beliefs or agree on everything, but their viewpoints complement and play off each other. Just like in any relationship, the sum is greater than its parts. Together, your viewpoints are more complete and ultimately more well-rounded. The key is not to be competitive, but to keep an open mind, to discuss, learn, and build off each other’s ideas. Seek to understand the other person’s perspective and why they think the way they do. True intellectuals see the thoughts and ideas of their loved one’s mind as an element of attraction. In this way, we can build meaningful and long-lasting relationships by getting to know each other on a higher intellectual level.

Intellectual Conversation

The greatest way to strengthen the intellectual connection is to engage in thought-provoking, philosophical conversation. Especially in times when we can’t be with our boyfriend physically, like in a long-distance relationship, using your intellect is the perfect way to feel closer to someone. Likewise, once you have gotten to the point where you know facts about someone personally, the key to continuing to cultivate your relationship is to have meaningful conversations, to discuss your thoughts and opinions about complex subjects. You can still get to know each other better past the initial stages of a relationship.

Intellectually compatible people don’t necessarily agree on everything, but their viewpoints complement each other.

Whether a boyfriend, a husband, or even a guy friend, men have different and sometimes eye-opening perspectives. And, at the end of the day, there is nothing a man likes more than being asked his opinion about a thought-provoking issue. He wants to share his thoughts, his ideas, his mind with you. The same goes for you – your insights and viewpoints will be sure to intrigue your boyfriend.

My boyfriend and I live across the country from each other, but we were still able to go miles relationship-wise over a month-long college Christmas break even though we were miles apart. So, I’ve included some questions about some of the best topics we discussed, often talking late into the night until our phones died. These questions are not necessarily about yourselves personally, but rather about how you view the world. By asking them, in a way, you can glimpse the world through the other’s eyes. 

1. Which five people had the greatest effect on the course of history?

Prophets, kings, military strategists, conquerors, inventors, philosophers… So many people have left their mark and altered the course of history, but who most of all? Without which five of these people would the world be most different? If this particular person had not existed, would someone else have filled a similar role instead? 

2. Which has more influence on who we become: our genetics or our environment?

The debate between nurture and nature goes back to the very foundations of psychology. Both nature and nurture have a powerful influential effect on human development, but which has more? What examples do you have? A recent development that bridges genetics and the environment is epigenetics, which is the expression of certain inborn genetic traits based on environmental factors.

3. Are people inherently evil or inherently good?

This question has affected the way religions and governments are formed. At the end of the day, what is the default nature of mankind? Do we need restrictions and incentives to keep us in check, or are we naturally good but corrupted by our circumstances?

4. Do we have free will or is everything predetermined?

This question has been debated by every great civilization, from fate and fortune of Greek and Roman mythology, to the free will emphasized in the Bible and central to the Constitution, full circle to the modern idea that everything is inevitable on an atomic level.

5. Do you prefer theories and possibilities or practical, proven applications?

Some people prefer thinking up ideas, while others prefer putting them into practice. Both play essential roles in the development of society, and the two cannot exist without each other.

6. Is human progress in perpetual conflict with nature? Will mankind ever fully conquer the natural world?

Man versus nature is a timeless theme throughout human history, and popular in classic literature by authors like Jack London and Herman Melville. Humanity seems to keep making advances, but nature always pushes back. Who will triumph in the end?

7. What does the future of living situations and transportation systems look like?

How will people travel in the future? How will we live? What about land and vehicle ownership, will everything be rented? What about frontiers on other planets?

8. Is overpopulation or underpopulation a greater concern for the near future?

Many countries around the world are facing the issue of population density, whether it's declining or increasing. Japan and much of Europe are facing shrinking populations, which is concerning for the economy and the support of older generations. Southeast Asia and Africa, on the other hand, have rapidly increasing populations which creates issues with quality of life and resource scarcity.

9. Has society continually become better or worse? 

This question can apply to both quality of life and ethics/values. Was there a turning point, and if so, when was the high point of society? Or does it go in waves, the culture will go one direction, and then the other side will push back?

Closing Thoughts

Engaging in intellectual conversation is the perfect way to learn from and grow closer to your boyfriend. It gives you new insight into the inner workings of his mind. There is truly something so powerful and uplifting about an intellectual conversation with someone we care about. The reason, perhaps, is that discussing philosophical questions glorifies our greatest gift as human beings, that which distinguishes us from all other creation – our minds. 

After discussing these questions, you will undoubtedly come away with new insights and an enhanced understanding of the world. By conversing over thought-provoking questions, you will learn more about your man, yourself, and the incredible world around you. Intellectual compatibility transcends distance and lasts for a lifetime. So, take some time to talk over some of the most pressing questions about the past, present, and future of our universe.

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