When it comes to romantic relationships, we, unfortunately, don’t have a golden rule book to abide by. Instead, every relationship comes with its own unique battles and rewards. But sometimes, it seems the battles far outweigh the rewards. How do we know when it’s time to call it quits?
The decision to end a relationship is never a painless one. Though we may be the breakup-initiator, we often wrestle with our decision for quite some time. After all, we do (or did) love this person, invested a great deal of our time in them, and could even fear we’ll never find someone else to love us. What if we look back and realize they were the one who got away?
Breaking up with someone shouldn’t be treated lightly—it hurts feelings, severs ties, and alters lives forever.
Breaking up with someone shouldn’t be treated lightly—it hurts feelings, severs ties, and alters lives forever. That being said, no matter how hurtful coming to this conclusion is, there comes a point when it becomes clear to us that a relationship is no longer healthy, holds us back, or simply isn’t meant to be.
Here are 6 signs the relationship you’re in isn’t the right one:
1. You’ve fallen into a routine.
While there is beauty in discovering the rhythms of everyday life as a couple, we often find ourselves locked into a partnership that’s succumbed to monotony, in which there are no shared dreams, memorable dates, or sparks—just repetitive nights spent in front of the TV. Keeping the romance alive and well becomes more important as our relationship becomes more familiar—and a partner who isn’t invested in doing that doesn’t deserve our time.
2. You just don’t trust him.
Perhaps the most crucial aspect of any successful relationship is trust; our significant other, ideally, is our closest ally. But if our partner has given us any reason for feeling the need to read his texts, track him on Find My Friends when he goes out, or test him with rapid-fire questions, that’s indicative of something fishy for sure. Sometimes, our insecurities are to blame—but other times, it’s helpful to listen to our gut.
Our significant other, ideally, is our closest ally.
3. He doesn’t challenge you—or worse, holds you back.
The key to a thriving relationship is an equal hunger for growth—whether that growth is geared towards knowledge, our career, or fitness goals. When our aspirations don’t line up with our partner’s, it’s easy to let our affection for them tie us down, allowing our dreams to slowly fade away. But our significant other should be our biggest cheerleader, pushing and encouraging us to achieve our goals.
4. You’re relying too much on physical attraction.
More often than not, the first thing we noticed about our significant other was their dreamy eyes—and while physical attraction is a basic element in a relationship, we often rely too heavily upon it, allowing it to become the base of our relationship. Making excuses for someone’s unsavory personality (or simply a lack thereof) because they match our physical type to a tee is a recipe for disaster.
5. He doesn’t respect you.
This one seems like a no-brainer, but a lack of respect can be expressed in more ways than just saying “women belong in the kitchen.” When a guy doesn’t respect us, he’ll make it clear by not making quality time with us a top priority, waiting hours (or even days) to text back for no real reason, or reaching out to you based on his convenience. Instead, our significant other should treasure us, understanding the gift that is our relationship.
Our significant other should treasure us, understanding the gift that is our relationship.
6. You’ve thought about breaking up with him.
As the only point on this list that’s initiated by us, this one’s particularly painful—especially because we normally don’t want to feel this way. Most often, we care about the person we’re with, hate the idea of hurting them, and feel a sense of comfort when we’re with them. But if breaking up is something that has occurred to you a few times, it might be a sign that it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.
Going through a breakup is no one’s favorite pastime. And while it’s a normal response to ignore the warning signs when we really care about someone, it’s necessary to acknowledge the red flags when we see them.