We’ve all been there before – heartbroken.
The byproduct of one of those breath-stopping, stomach-dropping, heart-pulsating moments where it feels like, for just a minute, your whole world has come crashing down.
Then, in an attempt to salvage the relationship, most women find themselves overcompensating for the loss, desperately trying to mend the broken connection to restore the happier memories of what was. By chasing the fantasy and not giving ourselves enough time to process the reality of grief, we end up damaging the relationship even more in an impulsive desire to “fix” it.
Do long, angry text messages, drama-centered posts, or drunk calling your ex ring a bell? It happens to the best of us as we desperately pull at threads. But what we can all agree on is that it never makes us feel any better, does it? And more than likely, it just pushes the other person farther and farther away.
The Pain of Heartbreak Can Be Powerful
Before reaching for the pint of ice cream and binging chick flicks for days on end, take the time to reassess. Emotions present a lot of power. They’re what allows us to connect with one another and more deeply connect with ourselves. When we take the time to look at them, instead of just reacting to them, we open up unlimited opportunities to discover breakthroughs and expand.
Some of the world’s greatest paintings, sculptures, and songs have originated from heartbreak.
The feelings that come with heartbreak are no different. However, we can use them in one of two ways: to either be self-defeating or to constructively create. It’s no surprise that some of the world’s greatest paintings, sculptures, and songs have originated from heartbreak, as found in the backstories and lyrics shared by various artists. That’s simply because heartbreak is relatable to many and the process of releasing it through creativity can be incredibly healing.
If you’re putting down the spoon and sitting up in bed, asking “But how do I do this!?” then keep reading!
5 Creative Ways To Channel Heartbreak
For starters, as tempting as it may be, let the situation rest. Do not reach out, regardless of how compelled you may feel, until you’re back to a balanced and neutral state of emotion. By then, you’ll be able to decipher if you even want to reach out. Sometimes what we believe we want is actually just high anxiety surfacing in the heat of a moment.
With that said, we know heartbreak can still be a very raw and vulnerable experience. So allow yourself to move through the phases. It’s said there are 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While these stages often refer to grieving a death, they can also be applicable to other times of loss, including breakups. These stages aren’t linear and sometimes aren’t experienced equally by everyone, making them unique to each circumstance. Gracefully observe where you’re at to know when you’re ready to move forward.
In the meantime, as you navigate them, keep the focus on turning inward and expressing these emotions through the creative outlets below.
Journaling is a great place to start when processing your emotions. Instead of sending those long angry text messages, write them down without judgment. Give yourself the time to freely write what you’re feeling. By putting your thoughts on paper, you give yourself permission to release them from your direct focus. Come back to your writings when you feel ready and monitor your growth. If you feel inspired, these entries can become the framework for a beautiful poem or book!
By putting your thoughts on paper, you give yourself permission to release them from your direct focus.
Let me guess, the last time you painted was probably in grade school? You’re not alone. There just doesn’t seem to be the time as an adult to engage in these activities we used to love as little girls. Well, there’s nothing more comforting than tapping back into that child-like wonder when you’re feeling heartbroken. There are some amazing adult coloring books, so treat yourself to one and lose yourself in it for a couple of hours. Or pick up a blank canvas from a craft store along with some paints. For an extra boost of fun, call up some girlfriends and have a paint night! Whether you choose this practice solo or with a group, it’s a stunning tribute to honor your emotions through a spectrum of colors.
There’s a quote that says “When you’re happy you enjoy the music. When you’re sad, you understand the lyrics.” Wow! Isn’t that the truth? When you’re feeling down, find new music and listen to the lyrics. Find guidance in the words. Cry if you have to. This can be a relieving way to heal an emotional wound, especially if you draw a hot bath and light some candles to accompany your new musical selections. If you’re a musician, this could be a great time to write new songs and melodies as well!
4. Physical Movement
Stale energy will continue perpetuating undesirable feelings. So while it’s tempting to just want to lay in bed all day, try to get outside for a walk, treat yourself to a yoga session, or go to a fun dance class! They say when you want to change your life, move your body. Putting your body in motion simultaneously puts energy in motion. Not to mention, moving your body releases endorphins, your feel-good hormones that reduce pain and stress. Movement will support everything from your mental, physical, and emotional health, helping you to recalibrate and rebuild self-esteem.
Putting your body in motion simultaneously puts energy in motion.
Have you ever left the beauty salon after a fresh cut and color feeling like a whole new woman? This is the perfect time to go. Maybe even try out a new style. What about a new makeup palette that exudes confidence? Playing dress-up can be surprisingly empowering when we feel at our lowest points. Elevate your appearance for an instant mood-booster when you’re feeling down. And a spa day for extra stress relief never hurt either!
While it’s never enjoyable to go through a heartbreak, the beauty that can come from the mess can be completely life-altering for the better! Transformation happens when we face our fears and choose to overcome them. Whatever the pain of a breakup triggers for you, use it as a chance to understand yourself and your own needs more fully. When you focus on working on what you can control (yourself) versus what you can’t control (the other person), you shift the power away from being the victim of the situation.
Let the hurt go by using the pain to express yourself in more productive ways and remain open to new opportunities, instead of closing yourself off. This will help cultivate a more trusting relationship with yourself, which will subsequently transpire into stronger relationships with future partners. You’ll be surprised at what you can accomplish, what you’ll discover, and how much power you actually hold when you choose to show up and design the life you desire!
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