How do you practice sexual discipline in a world that continually pushes casual sex? How do you stay confident and resist the urge to go all the way?
You've been dating a guy for a couple of months. He's handsome, you connect on so many levels, and you have all the feels. All you want to do is "get it on," but something inside is telling you to hold out. You know sex blurs things, so how do you practice sexual discipline when your hormones are going wild?
If you're religious, saving yourself until marriage is the rule, but everyone knows this is hard to do when you really like a guy. The reality is everyone pushes sex — the internet, the media, pop-culture, even your friends are doing it too.
Practicing sexual discipline can be challenging but rewarding.
Practicing sexual discipline can be challenging but rewarding at the same time. It commands respect from a man, which means he has to try harder to get to know you instead of just seeing you as a sexual conquest. It also weeds out bad men and protects you from STDs and unwanted pregnancies.
Above all, it helps you to stay in control. It keeps your mind clear and allows you to make better judgments by choosing what’s right or wrong for you.
5 Ways To Practice Sexual Discipline
1. Think about Why You've Decided To Wait
There’s a reason why you've chosen to wait this long to have sex. Maybe it's for religious reasons, perhaps you want to save yourself for your husband, or perhaps you were hurt in the past and don't want to repeat the same mistakes. You now only want to have sex with a man who truly deserves you.
Whatever your reason is, reminding yourself can empower you to hold true to your convictions.
Whatever your reason is, reminding yourself can empower you to hold true to your convictions. It's normal to want to break your own rules, but trying to remember why you made them in the first place can help you practice self-control.
2. Think about the Rewards
As mentioned, many benefits come from waiting. Firstly, it weeds out all the bad men. You don't have to worry about making a mistake, and you'll feel glad that you saved yourself for the man of your dreams. It's so much more special and much more intimate when you've waited to have sex with your Mr. Right. You know that he loves you for you and not just for your body. You know that he loves and cares about you, respects you, and cherishes you. The relationship is more valuable, which will give you internal peace and satisfaction.
It's so much more special and much more intimate when you've waited to have sex with your Mr. Right.
There are also physical benefits such as not catching STDs or running the risk of getting pregnant. Plus, you don't have to worry about him telling his friends or leaving you high and dry. And you spare yourself some deep heartbreak if he ends up not being "the one."
Refraining from sex gives you the strength to pace the relationship to what feels comfortable for you. It unclouds your judgment and helps you to make the right decisions.
3. Don't Tell People
Don't announce it to the world. You know what friends can be like; they might try and set you up with a guy or pressure you into giving in. (Virgin shaming is a real thing.) Even though they're only joking, you could take it the wrong way, which would cause friction or make you cave.
You're under no obligation to tell anyone intimate details.
Also, youo don't have to tell the men you're dating that you're a virgin or abstaining from sex until he has earned your trust and respect. You're under no obligation to tell anyone intimate details. Some men might have ulterior motives and see it as a challenge. They will say and do anything to get you to give in. Be wary of these kinds of men and give him the ditch if he pressures you or crosses your boundaries.
4. Avoid Dating Temptations
If you want to avoid situations where you could be tempted to go all the way, try to plan your dates during the daytime or go to events with other people around. That way, you're less likely to get so emotionally keyed up that you’re tempted to go back to each other's house where you could quickly end up lying in bed with each other, ripping each other's clothes off.
Try to plan your dates during the daytime or go to events with other people around.
You could also try to meet with friends and family, so you're not tempted to spend too much alone time together.
5. Don't Shave Your Legs
Don't shave your legs or other personal parts before you go out on a date. That might mean you won't be able to wear a short dress or skirt, but you can still look cute in jeans, a jumpsuit, or a maxi dress!
By not shaving your legs or other parts, it forces you to stop things from going too far. You'll feel too embarrassed to go back to his place!
Anything to help stop things from moving too quickly is a good idea.
When you have strong sexual chemistry and your hormones are going crazy, anything to help stop things from moving too quickly is a good idea.
Whatever your reasons might be for saving yourself, you should own it. Don't feel pressured by men or anyone else. As a woman, you don't have to be sexual to prove your worth. Your body is the most precious thing you can give away, so ensuring a man has earned the privilege to be with you will provide you with so much more confidence.