There are many contributing factors that make a marriage work, but there are some key differences between what a husband and wife need to feel fulfilled.
Just like we need love and attention to thrive in a relationship, our husbands also need specific things from us. A successful marriage is all about giving and receiving, and not about keeping a scorecard.
1. He needs your trust.
We’ve all heard the saying, “Men are to protect and provide.” This phrase runs deep in a man’s psyche and is the reason why they can get defensive when we offer advice on how to do things or second-guess their judgement. Ever tried giving your husband instructions on how to drive? They get either irritated or you end up arguing! Husbands need to feel they are capable of handling things without our help, so give him the gift of trust.
2. He needs your admiration.
Let’s face it, life is tough. There’s always pressure in our careers, from the economy, and our personal lives. Just like we need love, attention, and affection to thrive, our husbands need our admiration. Look up to him. Tell him you admire how he is performing at work, or express gratitude when he mows the lawn. It’ll do wonders for his confidence, and you know how the saying goes: “What you give, you'll get back.”
3. Give him his freedom.
Everyone needs freedom from the relationship from time to time. If he’s out with the boys, let him have his man time and don’t be tempted to constantly text him with trivial questions. According to a 2013 study, women feel more positive and stable when texting frequently, but men who frequently receive texts from their partners feel less satisfied in the relationship.
Men who frequently receive texts from their partners feel less satisfied in the relationship.
Constantly texting your husband can be seen as a subtle controlling behavior, which robs him of his privacy and freedom. That’s what it can feel like to them at least. It’s a good example of the differences between what each gender needs from each other. Yes, it can feel scary not knowing every detail of what’s going on in his day, but try to let go and use the free time to focus on yourself. How about practicing some self-care?
4. Let him help you.
Believe it or not, men love to make their wives happy (if we just let them). Let him help you lift heavy items or hold doors open for you. Just like us, men want to feel needed. And by accepting his help, it connects you as a couple and reaffirms the positive behavior.
5. He needs sex.
Everyone knows this is super important to men (and women). But men really do need to have sex to feel connected in marriage. Of course, there are times when we women can’t have sex -- e.g., when Aunty Flo is in town or right after pregnancy. But if you’re fit and healthy, having sex with your husband will bond the two of you like nothing else.
Having sex with your husband will bond the two of you like nothing else.
Think about it like this: Imagine your husband is ill in bed, and the only person who can help him is you. Not a friend or some random stranger, only YOU can help him get better. That’s what it’s like for men - the sexual release makes them feel loved and better about everything. They can only turn to us wives for sex, so don’t deprive them of it.