There are times when I want to punch my loving partner in the face. It’s usually when there is a pile of dishes in the sink and a story about all of the reasons why there’s no time to run the dishwasher.
It’s at times like these, when my thoughts tell me that I should focus on all of the flaws my partner Tim has, that I think back to the moment I realized I was falling in love with him. We were in the kitchen one Saturday evening, feeling a little low on energy, when he reached for my hand, took me in his arms, and we began to slow dance, all the while he sang softly in my ear. When my mind wants to focus on dirty dishes, I think back to that moment and conjure up that love-feeling all over again.
When Everyday Life Gets in the Way of Love
It’s easy to find fault with your partner, especially if you’re stuck at home, stressed, or they haven’t done the laundry like they promised. So many of the clients I work with as a mindful relationship coach get so caught up in work, errands, and children, that they lose the magic in their relationship. It’s easy to let the connection fade, especially when you’re busy nitpicking at how they didn’t pay the bills like they said they would or they left their wet towel on the bathroom floor. In fact, it’s easy to find so many faults with your partner that you forget why you ever fell in love with them in the first place.
If you’re willing to invest in your relationship, you will develop a deeper connection and you’ll get past disagreements more quickly.
So, how do you not only stay in love with your partner, but actually deepen the connection you have with them over time? It does take a concerted effort, as you have to make a conscious choice to fall in love with your partner every single day. In each moment, you’re either growing together or you’re growing apart, so, if you’re not investing in your relationship, it’s likely that, over time, your connection with your partner will lessen.
How To Fall in Love with Your Partner Again Every Day
The good news is that it doesn’t take a lot of time to cultivate a deeper connection. All that’s required is a little bit of willingness. That being said, there are three ways you can fall in love with your partner all over again every single day.
1. Tap into the Feeling
The first way sounds the most outrageous, but I promise that it works. You can literally tune into the feeling of the love you have for your partner by looking at something that conjures up a feeling of nostalgia or sentimentality.
Take time to look at special gifts they bought you and remember how thoughtful they are.
Keep photos of the two of you in view and take time to look at them and revisit those special memories. Take time to look at special gifts they bought you and remember how thoughtful they are. Instead of focusing on your partner’s flaws, replay a special memory in your mind. Visualize it until you conjure up feelings of love and appreciation. Oftentimes, we forget the loving gestures someone made in the past when they’re getting on our nerves in the present.
2. Keep a Gratitude Journal Specifically about Your Partner
It can be difficult to remember all of the things you love about your partner when they just said something thoughtless. When issues arise (and they will always arise), your thoughts will tell you that your partner is a horrible excuse for a partner. You’ll get so caught up reacting in the moment that you’ll lose perspective on your relationship.
Write down loving things they said and did the day before and list specific qualities that you love about them.
Instead, take some time in the morning to focus on everything you love about your partner. Write down loving things they said and did the day before and list specific qualities that you love about them. While it’s tempting to focus on the one thing about them that’s annoying, the key to falling in love with your partner every day is remembering all of the things you adore about them on a regular basis.
3. Make a Decision
Love is a choice. It’s a decision to focus on the light in a person and to choose connection over judgment and criticism. You can’t deepen your connection with your partner if you expect them to be perfect. If you decide to love someone unconditionally, that means that you don’t get to question if they’re good enough over and over again. That was what the dating process was for: assessing your partner and getting to know them on a deep level. Once you’ve made a decision to love your partner, stop looking for all of the things you don’t like about them.
If you decide to love someone unconditionally, that means that you don’t get to question if they’re good enough over and over again.
Being in a relationship means you’re not continually evaluating your partner to see if they fit the bill. Once you make a conscious choice to love all of your partner, stick with it. You’re in a relationship, and if you don’t act like it, you’ll eventually grow apart from your partner.
If you’re willing to invest in your relationship, you will develop a deeper connection and you’ll get past disagreements more quickly. By making a conscious choice to fall in love with your partner every single day, you will not only strengthen your relationship, but you will also learn how to completely accept and honor another human being, and in turn, completely honor and accept yourself.
Relationships are a playground for personal growth. This is why so many people stay single; they’re not ready to commit to showing up as the most loving version of themselves every day. But if you’re willing to invest a bit of time and energy, you can have the relationship and the love that you want.