Relationships

13 Habits Of Couples That Last

How many of these do you and your husband check off?

By Keelia Clarkson3 min read
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Shutterstock/Summer loveee

Have you ever been surprised after hearing about a married couple that’s getting divorced? You might wonder where it went wrong for them, or wondered if there were warning signs you could’ve picked up on that their marriage wasn’t going according to plan. And naturally, the unforeseen end of their marriage made you wonder whether your marriage could be subject to the same ending.

While it’s not always easy to pinpoint what caused a marriage to end in divorce (often there are multiple factors at play), when it comes to deciphering whether a marriage is going to last for years to come, there are actually a few signs we can look for – habits that, when fostered by two spouses, are indicative of a marriage that’s going to last.

So what are these habits? Well, according to Twitter user @ManlinessNorms, these are the habits that mean a couple is in it for the long run.

They’re Frequently Affectionate

Affection is normal for them – and it doesn’t always have to lead to more. They might hold hands on and off when out for a walk, touch each other’s arms without even thinking about it, or cuddle up on the couch every evening for another episode of their latest binge-watch.

They Don’t Talk Trash About Each Other

Gossiping and smear campaigns aren’t something a couple that lasts does – even when they have valid reasons to be upset with one another. They don’t betray each other’s trust and privacy by talking badly about the other in public.

They Hug and Kiss at the Start and the End of the Day

It’s a simple rhythm that keeps them connected. They make a point of starting the day off with an embrace and a kiss before going their separate ways, and end the day the same way. They don’t find themselves wondering when the last time they kissed each other was.

They Do Small Favors and Make Sacrifices Regularly

There’s no tally-keeping or eye-rolling or bargaining. They don’t see performing small favors (like filling up the gas tank when she knows he needs the car early the next morning) or making sacrifices (such as staying home with the baby instead of meeting up with his buddy so she can have a girls’ night) as a burden. They know this is what it means to love the other well.

They’re Each Other’s Biggest Cheerleader

They aren’t in competition with each other, and they care about each other’s dreams. They know they can count on each other to be cheered on. They’re always the first and loudest one to celebrate a win for the other, even if they’ve been having a dry spell themselves. 

They’re a United Front

They have their disagreements, but you won’t catch them involving others in their issues or holding other people’s opinions above their spouse’s. They value each other’s thoughts and feelings above anything else.

They Have Regular Check-Ins

They set aside undistracted, regular time to focus on each other. They check in with how the other is feeling, offering support, encouragement, or understanding for their various desires, needs, and issues. They care enough to know what’s really going on with the other.

They Know How To Apologize

They aren’t above humbling themselves and apologizing. But they don’t just say they’re sorry, they offer a thoughtful, genuine apology that lets the other know they really mean it. They show that they understand their wrongdoing and acknowledge what they need to change.

They Never Make Assumptions

They don’t make unfair assumptions about the other’s motives or intentions. Instead, they simply ask the other to clarify. They open the line of communication and take care to know where the other is coming from. 

They Never Stop Having Date Nights

They still date each other. They have regular date nights, no matter how long they’ve been together, treating these nights out together as a sacred ritual. They don’t allow other things to become more important than a romantic night with the one they love.

They Argue To Reunite, Not To “Win”

They don’t go without their arguments, but they also don’t argue with the intention of “winning” or putting the other in their place. Their arguments are mature, loving, and seek to find a solution that honors them both. In the end, they know they’re on the same team.

They Keep Their Word

They know they can trust each other’s word, because they do what they say they’ll do and they mean what they do. They’re intentional, proactive, and value the other’s trust enough to keep their word. 

They Listen To Each Other

More than anything, they want to understand each other. This means that instead of doing all the talking or seeking understanding only for themselves, they listen to what the other has to say – all without drawing attention back to themselves or dismissing the other’s feelings.

Closing Thoughts

Every couple is different, but what the couples that last have in common with each other is that they’re loving, communicative, and respectful of each other. Without these qualities, it’ll be difficult for a relationship to be healthy, positive, and long-lasting. 

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